Chavs - The Scum of the Earth

What is a Chav?

'chav' (slang) - a young person, often without a high level of education, who follows a particular fashion; Chavs usually wear designer labels including the chav favourite 'Burberry', and if they’re girls, very short skirts, large hoop earrings and stilettos.

Chavs see branded baseball caps as a status symbol and wear them at every opportunity. Normally found hanging around shopping centres.

Also known as Townies, Kevs, Hood Rats, Charvers, Steeks, Stigs, Bazzas, Yarcos, Ratboys, Chorer, Skangers, Scutters, Janners, Kappa Slappers, Scallies, and Spides. Also known as Neds in Scotland, knackers & skangers in Ireland, and Guidos in the USA

How to spot one

Sportswear - Baseball Cap

What can I say? I'm convinced that male Chavs are issued with a Baseball Cap at birth! Disregard caps worn at a jaunty angle or back to front, the Chav will use his cap peak to conceal his identity to the max! Look out for the particularly hideous Burberry variant as pictured left!

Sportswear - Banded Shirts and Jackets

Forget Savile (yes, that's Savile, Dominic!) Row tailoring, what your Chav about town likes to be seen wearing is branded sportswear! The bigger the brand name on the garment, the better! Look out for what was this summers classic, the pink Nickelson polo shirt and this winters classic, the sky blue McKenzie hoody!

Jewellery - Big Hoopy Gold Earrings

Nothing says 'filthy chavster' quite like a nice thick pair of big hoopy gold earrings! When I say big, I mean a inside diameter of at least 2 inches! If you see someone with earrings so big they rest on the wearers shoulders, you are in the presence of Chav royalty!

Rides - The Chav Car

Chav cars, roaring around at 11pm, blue lights, loud exhaust, huge spoiler. Sound familiar? If so then we can help. Simply call your local police station and quote section 59 of the police reform act at them. Make sure you get the registration number, and hopefully an officer will come and take a look. If the chav does it again.....we impound their car :) And they have no defence against it hehe.

More 'How to spot a Chav'

Chav Jokes

What's the most confusing day of the year for a Chav?
Fathers Day!

What do you call a chav in a tastfully decorated house?
The burglar.

What do you call a Chav in a box?
Innit.

What do you call a Chav in a filing cabinet?
Sorted.

What do you call a Chav in a box with a lock on it?
Safe.

What do you call a Chavette in a white tracksuit?
The bride.

What do chavs use as protection during sex?
A bus shelter!

What's the difference between a Chav and a coconut?
One's thick and hairy, the other's a coconut.

How do you get 100 Chavs into a phone box?
Paint three stripes on it.

Chavs in a car without any music. Who's driving?
The police.

What do you do if you run over a chav?
Reverse just to make sure

Play ChavOlympics [game]
Great Site - Loads of Chav-related Links
Celebrity Chavs