Saturday, July 30, 2005

Chavs - The Scum of the Earth



What is a Chav?

'chav' (slang) - a young person, often without a high level of education, who follows a particular fashion; Chavs usually wear designer labels including the chav favourite 'Burberry', and if they’re girls, very short skirts, large hoop earrings and stilettos.

Chavs see branded baseball caps as a status symbol and wear them at every opportunity. Normally found hanging around shopping centres.

Also known as Townies, Kevs, Hood Rats, Charvers, Steeks, Stigs, Bazzas, Yarcos, Ratboys, Chorer, Skangers, Scutters, Janners, Kappa Slappers, Scallies, and Spides. Also known as Neds in Scotland, knackers & skangers in Ireland, and Guidos in the USA


How to spot one

Sportswear - Baseball Cap

What can I say? I'm convinced that male Chavs are issued with a Baseball Cap at birth! Disregard caps worn at a jaunty angle or back to front, the Chav will use his cap peak to conceal his identity to the max! Look out for the particularly hideous Burberry variant as pictured left!

Sportswear - Banded Shirts and Jackets

Forget Savile (yes, that's Savile, Dominic!) Row tailoring, what your Chav about town likes to be seen wearing is branded sportswear! The bigger the brand name on the garment, the better! Look out for what was this summers classic, the pink Nickelson polo shirt and this winters classic, the sky blue McKenzie hoody!

Jewellery - Big Hoopy Gold Earrings

Nothing says 'filthy chavster' quite like a nice thick pair of big hoopy gold earrings! When I say big, I mean a inside diameter of at least 2 inches! If you see someone with earrings so big they rest on the wearers shoulders, you are in the presence of Chav royalty!

Rides - The Chav Car

Chav cars, roaring around at 11pm, blue lights, loud exhaust, huge spoiler. Sound familiar? If so then we can help. Simply call your local police station and quote section 59 of the police reform act at them. Make sure you get the registration number, and hopefully an officer will come and take a look. If the chav does it again.....we impound their car :) And they have no defence against it hehe.

More 'How to spot a Chav'

Chav Jokes

What's the most confusing day of the year for a Chav?
Fathers Day!

What do you call a chav in a tastfully decorated house?
The burglar.

What do you call a Chav in a box?
Innit.

What do you call a Chav in a filing cabinet?
Sorted.

What do you call a Chav in a box with a lock on it?
Safe.

What do you call a Chavette in a white tracksuit?
The bride.

What do chavs use as protection during sex?
A bus shelter!

What's the difference between a Chav and a coconut?
One's thick and hairy, the other's a coconut.

How do you get 100 Chavs into a phone box?
Paint three stripes on it.

Chavs in a car without any music. Who's driving?
The police.

What do you do if you run over a chav?
Reverse just to make sure

Play ChavOlympics [game]
Great Site - Loads of Chav-related Links
Celebrity Chavs

8 Comments:

Blogger jomama said...

A new form of warmed-over death it
appears.

Fortunately I never met one.

You think they'll take over the
world and all become pols?

Couldn't be any worse, I suppose.

17:22  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

boi dis site is cool
totaly addicted 2 it
xxx

23:30  
Anonymous ryan fukin em said...

AWRYT TROOPZ HAPNIN NICE SYT LOL LYK EH JOKEZ M8 WEE BIT AFENSIVE AE ME O! NAE SHYTE ANIWAYZ KEEP IT UP AN AL CATCH YE EFTARZ

RYAN FUKIN EM
2007
-=TEEM XSTREEM=-

18:32  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

this web site iz fukn shit and chaves aint scum of da world emos r

07:36  
Anonymous Tam said...

I wear big gold ear-rings, im glad u got ur stereo type right nice to know i now fit in as a chav and not just a normal person for liking big ear-rings.!!!! ITS ppl like you that shud b shot nothin better to do then slag every1 else of get a life NOone wants to hear ur bullshit thanks..

06:18  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

They'll never take over the world, they need a food source and even McD's has to pay educated people to harvest what little real food is actually contained within..

23:44  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Why not checkout this chav's website

htpp://www.chavchris.co.uk

19:08  
Anonymous Ambrose said...

I absolutely match with your post.
joye ego tank kit | intel atom eee pc notebook | angry birds ipad case | samsung galaxy s2 screen protector | 8 google android 2.2 tablet

14:47  

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home

English Blogs.
Search For Blogs, Submit Blogs, The Ultimate Blog Directory


Blogwise - blog 

directory
Search For Blogs, Submit Blogs, The Ultimate Blog Directory
Blogarama - The Blog Directory
British Blogs.
Blog Directory & 

Search engine


Free Web Site Counter
Site Counter

Blogarama - The Blog Directory eXTReMe Tracker  View My Public Stats on MyBlogLog.com