Saturday, July 23, 2005

Dilbert's Practical Jokes for the Office

Prank #1:
Using the conferencing feature of your office phone, dial one Induhvidual, then while it's ringing dial another and conference them together. Put your own phone on mute and listen to see how long they'll make small talk before figuring out that neither one placed the call.

Prank #2:
Microsoft Word has an autocorrect spelling function in its latest version. This function automatically corrects spelling mistakes as you type. The wonderful part of it is that you can add words to the autocorrect dictionary...including words that do not exist. If your co-worker leaves his computer unsecure, you're home free. For example, you could set it up so that the boss's first name, Bob, is autocorrected to Boob whenever the Induhvidual types it. Or set paradigm to autocorrect to "puredumb." If you're good, you can get your co-worker disciplined for sexual harassment plus any number of diversity-related violations.

Prank #3:
Get a greeting card that plays an insidious tune. Wrap the musical chip in cotton and tape it in on top of a ceiling tile in the victim's office. Make it quiet enough that the victim only hears it when it's especially silent. Act like he's crazy when he asks you if you hear music.

Prank #4:
Put an official-looking sign over the control pad of your office fax or copy machine that says it is now voice activated. The sign should direct the users to say their full name in a loud, crisp voice (for tracking purposes of course) followed by the desired commands, e.g., "This is Bruce Induhvidual, give me ten copies, no staple."

Prank Report:
An Induhvidual left his e-mail account online after he left work. The next day his boss asked him why he sent a message asking to take a shower with him in the locker room. The pranked Induhvidual could not remember sending out the e-mail containing that suggestion.


Anonymous Jon said...

LOL ! I've done the auto-correct prank a number of times in college, changing "the" to "the fucking".

Poor dorm-mates had written entire term papers and then had to manually remove the fucking word "the". And then people come to me crying thinking they have some virus on the fucking pc. :evilgrin:

Blogger Dirty Dan said...

im gonna try that today :)

Anonymous Jonas said...

Prank #4:

While your co-worker isnĀ“t at his desk. Minimize all windows and take a screen shot of the desk top, use the screen shot as a background image and hide all icons and the start menu bar.

Watch the poor bastard when nothing happens when he try to click on the icons, when he rebooting the computer 5 times and finally calling the service guy. Angry and crying.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Prank #4:

Even better to start a whole bunch of applications and open documents, unorganize all the windows in a big mess and then take a screen-shot. Close all programs, remove all desktop icons, hide the startmenu (move it to the top or right side of the screen ;) and finally use the screen-shot as the background picture. Sit back and enjoy ;)

Blogger Dirty Dan said...

so who'll be the first one to try it and post the results here?!

Anonymous Anonymous said...

We once disassembled a coworkers monitor and turned the crt upside down.


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