Dirty D's Guide to Ethnic Women

1. A CAUCASIAN WOMAN:

First date: You get to kiss her goodnight. Second date: You get to grope all over and make out. Third date: You get to have sex but only in the missionary position.

2. IRISH WOMAN:

First Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex. Second Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex. 20th Anniversary: You both get blind drunk and have sex.

3. ITALIAN WOMAN:

First Date: You take her to a play and an expensive restaurant. Second Date: You meet her parents and her Mom makes spaghetti & meatballs. Third Date: You have sex, she wants to marry you & insists on a 3 carat ring. 5th Anniversary: You already have 5 kids together & hate the thought of having sex. 6th Anniversary: You find yourself a girlfriend.

4. JEWISH WOMAN:

First Date: You get dynamite head. Second Date: You get more great head. Third Date: You tell her you'll marry her and never get head again.

5. POLISH WOMAN:

First Date: You go to pick her up, and she isn't home. She gave you the wrong address. Second Date: You decide to meet at a restaurant. She gets lost getting to the restaurant and then again going home. Third Date: She's pregnant. She's not sure if its hers.

6. CHINESE WOMAN:

First date: You get to buy her an expensive dinner but nothing happens. Second date: You buy her an even more expensive dinner but nothing happens again. Third date: You don't even get to the third date and you have already realized nothing is going to happen.

7. INDIAN WOMAN:

First date: Meet her parents. Second date: Set the date of the wedding. Third date: Wedding night.

8. BLACK WOMAN:

First Date: You get to buy her a real expensive dinner. Second Date: You get to buy her and her girlfriends a real expensive dinner. Third Date: You get to pay her rent. Tenth Date: She's pregnant by someone other than you.

9. LATIN WOMAN:

First Date: You buy her an expensive dinner, get her drunk on Riunite, have sex in the back of her car. Second Date: She is pregnant. Third Date: Move in with her, her two cousins, her sister's boyfriend and live happily ever after eating rice and beans in the Bronx.