Commandments

1. The size doesn't count. Battery voltage does.

2. "Including the balls" is the only solution to the ultimate question: "How the f*ck did he measure 8.2 inches?"

3. You woke up naked in a strange apartment, next to an empty vodka bottle and a web-cam? Hooray! Finally you will get some results when you google your name.

4. We are not claiming that it's worth the effort, but you should know that fat guys try harder.

5. No, "Take out the garbage" doesn't count as "dirty talking".

6. It is cool to perform in diverse positions, but if god would have wanted you that way He would have created you as a paper clip.

7. If he insists on cumming on your face, goggles are a legitimate demand.

8. We have no problem with "doggy," but what has "style" got to do with it?

9. Your boyfriend bought a red Speedo and started to grow a mustache? We hope that you are a friendly person, since you're going to an orgy.

10. When you're waiting for him in his T-shirt, its cute. But when he's waiting for you in your T-shirt, its time to start worrying.