Saturday, July 01, 2006

Letter in Sydney Morning Herald: On Australia's Exit



Just wanted to drop you all a note of condolence on your World Cup exit. Although you were never really good enough to be there in the first place, as one of our foreign outposts we think you did quite well and, most importantly, represented your Queen admirably. So, well done, little colony.

On the upside though, now at least your long-haired, scruffy, unclean teenage masses can all return to London to resume their minimum wage jobs, serving us thirsty English boys warm beer, just in time for the games on Friday and Saturday. Good timing, really, because as everyone agrees, the real tournament starts now that only the real footballing teams are left.

Well, chin up, anyway, pickpockets, and I suppose it's back to stealing your mothers' ironing boards and heading to the sea to try to dodge those hungry sharks. How sweet. Best regards and God save the Queen.

Paul Kaynes West Sussex (England) Letter in Sydney Morning Herald

2 Comments:

Blogger Coop said...

Cheeky bugger, what a nerve. Perhaps I wouldn't mind so much if Italy had beaten them legit, but that penalty was bullshit. I hope, for that sake of all that is sacred in the world, that France obliterates the I-ties. 'Cause if Italy come out of tomorrow's match with the cup, every Aussie supporter will be thinking "what if... what if the ref hadn't made that bull shit call...". Sure, I know that even if they made it past Italy, they probably wouldn't have got much further. But what can I say, it's nice to dream.

02:41  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey Just curious, how many penalties have England actually scored in the past 3 world cups? You see Australia actually over-achieved, when was the last time that you English actually achieved what you say you will every four years. Unlucky, nice to have egg on your face.

16:51  

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