Things that make you go "hmmmm?"

Are there specially reserved parking spaces for "normal" people at the Special Olympics?

Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.

Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream?

Can you cry under water?

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer?

Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

How come we never hear father-in-law jokes?

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on bigger suitcases?

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

If someone with a split personality threatens to commit suicide, is it a hostage situation?

Stress is when you wake up screaming and then you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.

What is the speed of darkness?

Where's that extra penny going to?

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"

Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's ass."

Whose evil idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

Why are you IN a movie, but you are ON TV?

Why can't women put on mascara with their mouths closed?

Why do doctors, when they ask you to strip, leave the room or close the cubicle curtain while you change?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their rear end when they ask where the bathroom is?

Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your arse?

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Why does the sun lighten our hair, but darken our skin?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

Why is it necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?

Why is it that our children can't read a Bible in school, but they can in prison?

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press 'Ctrl Alt Delete' and start all over?

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?