Vile Jokes
I KNOW how evil these sound and I know I might go to hell for it but they're fucking hilarious.
What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?
Slow down and use a lubricant.
What's the difference between acne and a catholic priest?
Acne will usually not come on a kid's face until around 13 or 14 years old.
What's the difference between a truckload of babies and a truckload of cannonballs?
You can't unload cannonballs with a pitchfork.
What's worse than Jacko tucking your kids in?
Huntley giving them a bath!
What's funnier than a baby trying to get into an elevator?
A baby trying to get into an elevator with a javelin through its head.
How do you know when it's bedtime at Michael Jascksons house?
When the big hand touches the little hand.
What is the difference between Neil Armstrong and Micheal Jackson?
Neil Armstrong was the first man on the moon, and Micheal Jackson fucks small boys.
What is the difference between a crying bound and gagged 12 year old girl and a ferrari?
I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.
Whats the best thing about fucking twentyseven yr olds?
there's twenty of them
why would you wrap a hamster in sellotape?
to stop it ripping when you f*** it.
DEAD BABY JOKES
What's funnier than a dead baby?
A dead baby in a clown costume
why should you put babies in the blender feet first?
so you can look into their eyes whilst you jack-off
What's more fun than strapping a baby to a clothesline and then spinning it around at 200km/h?
Stopping it with a shovel.
What do you call a dead baby with no arms and no legs in the middle of the ocean?
Fucked.
What do you call a dead baby with no arms and no legs in the middle of the ocean?
Fucked.
What do you call a dead baby with no arms and no legs hanging on your wall?
Art.
Why did the baby cross the road?
It was stapled to the chicken.
How do you get a baby to run faster?
Chase it with the lawn mower.
What's pink and spits?
A baby in a frying pan
Why did the toddler drop it's lollipop?
It was hit by a truck.
What sits in the kitchen and keeps getting smaller and smaller?
A baby combing it's hair with a potato peeler!
How do you make a dead baby float?
Take your foot off of it's head.
What's blue and thrashes about on the floor?
A baby playing in a plastic bag
What do you get when you have sex with a pregnant woman?
A baby with a black eye!
posted by Dirty Dan at 6:24 PM
9 Comments:
I liked the priest and acne! Some of these are funny, others are pure eviiiiiillll.
Take care.
How do you get a baby to run faster?
Chase it with the lawn mower.
that was THE best one!
cedia the one with the black eye has me in stitches every time i read it - just try to picture it lol
sarah - which one r u babe? we've got quite a few here :)
which ONE am i?!
i'm the hurt & offended one!!!
(my-soliloquy)
funny as fuck
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Sarah// oh so ur the original one then eh? (feel betta?) no seriously there's sarah the U2 fan and then there's the WBA supporter Sarah - too confusing for my lone braincell :|
whats black and blue and doesnt like sex?
the 8 yearold in my trunk
I liked the most is ..
How do you make a dead baby float?
Take your foot off of it's head.
Post a Comment
<< Home