Wednesday, July 13, 2005

Car Accident Reports - by Marky Mark



Accident insurance claim forms ask for a brief statement about how the accident happened. However sometimes the explanations can be a little too brief.


  • "A pedestrian hit me and went under my car."

  • "Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have." (Class!)

  • "I thought my window was down; but found it was up when I put my hand through it."

  • "The pedestrian had no idea which direction to go, so I ran over him."

  • "I was backing my car out of the driveway in the usual manner when it was struck by the other car in the same place where it had been struck several times before."

  • "The indirect cause of this accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth."

  • "I was thrown from my car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows."

  • "I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection, a hedge sprung up, obscuring my vision."

  • "I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him."

  • "I told the police that I was not injured, but on removing my hat, I found that I had a fractured skull."

  • "To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I struck the pedestrian."

  • "The accident occurred when I was attempting to bring my car out of a skid by steering it into the other vehicle."

  • "When I could not avoid a collision, I stepped on the gas and crashed into the other car."

  • "I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way."

  • "As I approached the intersection, a stop sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident."

  • "The telephone pole was approaching fast. I was attempting to swerve out of its path when it struck my front end."

  • "I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law, and headed over the embankment."

  • "The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him."

  • "An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my vehicle, and vanished."


5 Comments:

Blogger Dirty Dan said...

"I told the police that I was not injured, but on removing my hat, I found that I had a fractured skull."

sounds like it affected his brain innit! lol

22:56  
Blogger BaptizedLucifer said...

sounds like u lol

00:54  
Blogger theGoose said...

Marky Mark the rapper?

In fact thats him "hunk of the day" :)

18:56  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

these are 30 years old and from Australia courtesy of Jasper Carrott

19:02  
Blogger Dirty Dan said...

cheers for lettin us know that anon.

who's jasper carrott anyway?

11:31  

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