You KNOW you've been in Dubai too long when...

All very, very true.

- You're not surprised to see a goat in the passenger seat or a camel in a pick up.
- You think everyone's first name is Al
- You need a sweater when it's 20 degrees Centigrade
- You expect everyone to own a mobile phone
- Your idea of housework is leaving a list for the maid
- You believe that speed limits are only advisory
- You expect all police to drive BMWs or Merc's
- You know whether you are within missile range of Iraq and Iran
- You believe that the definition of a nanosecond is the time interval between the time the light turns green and the time that the guy behind you begins to blow his horn
- You can't buy anything without asking for a discount
- You have more carpets than floor space
- You expect all stores to stay open till midnight
- You make left turns from the far right lane
- You expect gold for every birthday
- You send friends a map instead of your address
- You think it perfectly normal to have a picnic in the middle of a roundabout at 11pm
- You know exactly how much alcohol allowance you have left for the month
- You have a moon phase predictor on your computer
- You never say Saturday instead of Thursday or Sunday instead of Friday
- You accept that there is no point in asking why you are not allowed to do something
- When you expect queues to be 1 person deep and 40 people wide,
- When you realise that the black and white stripes in the road are not a zebra crossing, just bait to get tourists into the firing line,
- When you know what night is ladies night at every bar in town,
- When seeing guys welcome each other with a kiss no longer disgusts you,
- When you carry 12 passport size photos around with you just in case,
- When you can tell the time by listening to the local mosque,
- When you start to say "Insha'allah" when you actually mean "No fucking chance!"
- When you overtake a police car at 85mph
- When a problem with your car AC or horn is more serious to you than a problem with the brakes
- When you can smoke a shisha in public without expecting to be arrested