Top Tips from The Goose
1. If a small child is choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a jug of boiling water down its throat and hey presto! The blockage is almost instantly removed.
2. Before attempting to remove stubborn stains from a garment, always circle the stain in permanent pen, so that when you remove the garment from the washing machine you can easily locate the area of the stain and check that it has gone.
3. Don't waste money buying expensive binoculars. Simply stand next to the object you wish to view.
4. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.
5. Always poo at work. Not only will you save money on toilet paper, but you'll also be getting paid for it.
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2. Before attempting to remove stubborn stains from a garment, always circle the stain in permanent pen, so that when you remove the garment from the washing machine you can easily locate the area of the stain and check that it has gone.
3. Don't waste money buying expensive binoculars. Simply stand next to the object you wish to view.
4. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.
5. Always poo at work. Not only will you save money on toilet paper, but you'll also be getting paid for it.
MORE
posted by Dirty Dan at 4:05 PM
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