Ten Nightmare Debuts
Iain Turner's debut for Everton may have ended in a less than glorious and far from happy trudge from the pitch, but he's not the first player to have the word 'nightmare' attached to his debut for the rest of his career...
1) Roy Keane - Celtic
The ManYoo reject's first game north of the border ended in a shock defeat to Scottish First Division (just think how rubbish that must be) side Clyde. The minnows actually had the ball in the net four times against the Parkhead club, only for two to be cruelly disallowed, but neither refereeing favouritism or the ageing Keane could save Celtic. Keane had a 'quiet' game, apparently, presumably because he spent the entire 90 minutes thinking 'I could be in Madrid right now'.
2) Jonathan Woodgate - Real Madrid
More a nightmare couple of years than a nightmare debut as far as injuries go, but in terms of footballing blunders you'd have to watch a lot of games to find a worse debut than Woodgate's Bernabeu bow. The man who cost the Galacticos 20 million euros scored a spectacular own goal and then, just to put the icing on the cake, got sent off. Once Woodgate was out of the way, Madrid went on to beat Athletic Bilbao 3-1. As Woody said: "It was not the best start in the world."
3) William Prunier - Manchester United
Widely regarded, certainly in F365 Towers, as the worst ManYoo player of the last 20 years - and that includes Darren Fletcher. Prunier was embarrassed on his debut, torn apart by none other than QPR's Danny Dichio. He didn't perform badly enough for the then unknighted Fergie to refuse him another chance, against Tottenham Hotspur. Spurs won 4-1. Guess who never played for ManYoo again?
4) Mike Salmon - Oxford United
Mike Salmon only played in one game for Oxford, but still managed to be voted their worst-ever player in more than one poll. He made his debut - and only - appearance against Birmingham City, and didn't do anything apart from pick the ball out of the net seven times on the way to Oxford's record home defeat.
5) Jason Crowe - Arsenal
Poor old Jason Crowe. In October 1997, Arsenal were taken to extra-time in the League Cup by Birmingham City. On came the youthful Crowe. 33 seconds later, off went the youthful Crowe - dismissed for a high tackle. He now plays for Northampton. Go figure.
6) Ade Akinbiyi - Burnley
With his Burnley side 1-0 down to title-chasing Sunderland (how strange does that sound?) Ade Akinbiyi was introduced after 80 minutes. Everything went a bit crazy less than three minutes later, when Akinbiyi elbowed George McCartney. This not being the Premiership, McCartney stayed on his feet, and had the nerve to ask Akinbiyi what his problem was. Akinbiyi's perfectly reasonable response was to headbutt McCartney, before grabbing him around the throat - presumably just in case the referee hadn't seen. He had. Bath time.
7) Fernando Ricksen - Rangers
Fernando Ricksen's player profile on the official Glasgow Rangers website begins 'Ricksen took time to settle at the club'. He cartainly took longer than 15 minutes, by which point of his debut Celtic had scored three goals - a tally they doubled by the end of the game. The Dutch defender, responsible for at least four of the Celtic goals as he huffed and puffed his way around the pitch, admitted later that he had been a nervous wreck before the game. And during it, we would think.
8) Chris Sutton - Chelsea
The only player in this list to have had his nightmare during a 4-0 win. In August 1999, long before Chelski, Chelsea hammered Sunderland, but their £10million man missed two absolute sitters and invited the whole crowd onto his back - from which point they never decamped. Just six months later the arrival of George Weah on loan put paid to Sutton's chances of making it in London, and he was promptly shipped off to Celtic. Where, ironically, he scored on his debut.
9) Lionel Messi - Argentina
Just to give England some hope in the build-up to this summer's World Cup, we thought we'd point out that not all goes perfectly in the world of the new Maradona. Less than a minute into Messi's Argentina debut, he was sent off for elbowing a Hungary defender who had the temerity to pull his shirt. The story became sadder - or funnier, depending on your point of view - when it was revealed that the rest of the Argentina team returned to the dressing room to find Messi a broken, well, mess, sobbing in the corner of the room.
10) Jaap Stam - Manchester United
If there is any hope for Iain Turner, it comes in the form of Jaap Stam, who suffered not one but two nightmare debuts for ManYoo. Stam cost United £10.5m, a world-record fee for a defender, and it looked like money incredibly badly spent when Nicolas Anelka's pace left Stam lying on the floor as the Frenchman fired Arsenal to a 3-0 Charity Shield victory. Stam's league debut was no better, as he was taken to pieces by Emile Heskey's speed and strength (no, seriously). Nine months later, he was the lynchpin in the team that won the treble. Stam, that is, not Heskey.
F365
1) Roy Keane - Celtic
The ManYoo reject's first game north of the border ended in a shock defeat to Scottish First Division (just think how rubbish that must be) side Clyde. The minnows actually had the ball in the net four times against the Parkhead club, only for two to be cruelly disallowed, but neither refereeing favouritism or the ageing Keane could save Celtic. Keane had a 'quiet' game, apparently, presumably because he spent the entire 90 minutes thinking 'I could be in Madrid right now'.
2) Jonathan Woodgate - Real Madrid
More a nightmare couple of years than a nightmare debut as far as injuries go, but in terms of footballing blunders you'd have to watch a lot of games to find a worse debut than Woodgate's Bernabeu bow. The man who cost the Galacticos 20 million euros scored a spectacular own goal and then, just to put the icing on the cake, got sent off. Once Woodgate was out of the way, Madrid went on to beat Athletic Bilbao 3-1. As Woody said: "It was not the best start in the world."
3) William Prunier - Manchester United
Widely regarded, certainly in F365 Towers, as the worst ManYoo player of the last 20 years - and that includes Darren Fletcher. Prunier was embarrassed on his debut, torn apart by none other than QPR's Danny Dichio. He didn't perform badly enough for the then unknighted Fergie to refuse him another chance, against Tottenham Hotspur. Spurs won 4-1. Guess who never played for ManYoo again?
4) Mike Salmon - Oxford United
Mike Salmon only played in one game for Oxford, but still managed to be voted their worst-ever player in more than one poll. He made his debut - and only - appearance against Birmingham City, and didn't do anything apart from pick the ball out of the net seven times on the way to Oxford's record home defeat.
5) Jason Crowe - Arsenal
Poor old Jason Crowe. In October 1997, Arsenal were taken to extra-time in the League Cup by Birmingham City. On came the youthful Crowe. 33 seconds later, off went the youthful Crowe - dismissed for a high tackle. He now plays for Northampton. Go figure.
6) Ade Akinbiyi - Burnley
With his Burnley side 1-0 down to title-chasing Sunderland (how strange does that sound?) Ade Akinbiyi was introduced after 80 minutes. Everything went a bit crazy less than three minutes later, when Akinbiyi elbowed George McCartney. This not being the Premiership, McCartney stayed on his feet, and had the nerve to ask Akinbiyi what his problem was. Akinbiyi's perfectly reasonable response was to headbutt McCartney, before grabbing him around the throat - presumably just in case the referee hadn't seen. He had. Bath time.
7) Fernando Ricksen - Rangers
Fernando Ricksen's player profile on the official Glasgow Rangers website begins 'Ricksen took time to settle at the club'. He cartainly took longer than 15 minutes, by which point of his debut Celtic had scored three goals - a tally they doubled by the end of the game. The Dutch defender, responsible for at least four of the Celtic goals as he huffed and puffed his way around the pitch, admitted later that he had been a nervous wreck before the game. And during it, we would think.
8) Chris Sutton - Chelsea
The only player in this list to have had his nightmare during a 4-0 win. In August 1999, long before Chelski, Chelsea hammered Sunderland, but their £10million man missed two absolute sitters and invited the whole crowd onto his back - from which point they never decamped. Just six months later the arrival of George Weah on loan put paid to Sutton's chances of making it in London, and he was promptly shipped off to Celtic. Where, ironically, he scored on his debut.
9) Lionel Messi - Argentina
Just to give England some hope in the build-up to this summer's World Cup, we thought we'd point out that not all goes perfectly in the world of the new Maradona. Less than a minute into Messi's Argentina debut, he was sent off for elbowing a Hungary defender who had the temerity to pull his shirt. The story became sadder - or funnier, depending on your point of view - when it was revealed that the rest of the Argentina team returned to the dressing room to find Messi a broken, well, mess, sobbing in the corner of the room.
10) Jaap Stam - Manchester United
If there is any hope for Iain Turner, it comes in the form of Jaap Stam, who suffered not one but two nightmare debuts for ManYoo. Stam cost United £10.5m, a world-record fee for a defender, and it looked like money incredibly badly spent when Nicolas Anelka's pace left Stam lying on the floor as the Frenchman fired Arsenal to a 3-0 Charity Shield victory. Stam's league debut was no better, as he was taken to pieces by Emile Heskey's speed and strength (no, seriously). Nine months later, he was the lynchpin in the team that won the treble. Stam, that is, not Heskey.
F365
posted by Dirty Dan at 7:03 PM
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