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Osama bids for England job.

Al Jazeera:Friday 28th April

Osama Bin Laden today threw his hat into the ring in a bid to become Englands next manager.

Sources close to the well known Arsenal fan said he was " well up " for the chance to be manager of the England team who are currently placed ninth in the FIFA world rankings.

An aid to Mr Bin Laden said that he watches all the Premiership games on the internet or on Al Jazeeras weekly football round up programme. He also added that Mr Bin Laden speaks very good English and has many contacts in the London area.

Brian Barwick of the english F.A was said to be flying to Afghanistan in the next two days to seek talks with Bin Laden who is probably the only person in the world that the british press could not find.

Barwick has been quoted to have said that given Bin Ladens proven track record in outwitting opponents in all fields up to now he could be the man for the job. "We will be mediating with our friends at Al Jazeera to assist in our bid to secure the services of the next England manager".

The only downside of the appointment if made would be the inability of Bin Laden to travel to the U.K but with modern technology he could be willing to it from the comfort of his cave said to be in the Tora Bora region.