Friday, March 25, 2005

Things you NEVER hear women say

- I know it's a lot tighter back there but would you please try again?

- That was a great fart! Do another one!

- No, I'm not going to buy those shoes I've got enough already!

- If you think she's fit, go ahead and shag her then!

- You look tired, I'll go and wash up while you unwind.

- No, that's all right, I'll do it

- Paris? At this time of year? No thanks!

- It's alright, he's probably just out with the lads. I'll call him tomorrow instead"

- Here's the change.

- I was going to buy a black bag to go with that dress, but then I realised I had 14000 black bags in my wardrobe upstairs.

- Just goin the shopping centre. Back in five mins

- Tonight, can you cum on my face and tits?

- Argh!!!! Some bastard just kicked me nuts.

- The impact of the oil crisis on the socio-economics of the regional market town of Horrigant in the east of Mongolia with its damage to the youth due to lack of oppertunities to arise within the close linked nomad tribes within the Gobi desert.

- Can you put the football on please?

- Would you like another beer?

- Would you like a blowjob with your beer while you watch the football?

- My round.

- Let's stay up all night, smoking weed, drinking lager and playing playstation- then lets go upstairs and you can do your funny little sex dance

- Yes dear, I'd love a golden shower.

- Have a good evening with your mates down the pub, i'll be gagging for sex by the time you get back

- Let's pee write our names in the snow.

- You're right.

- Yay. I was hoping you'd rent a Bruce Lee movie

- I admit it, I was wrong.

- I said I didn't want any chips and ,though yours smell nice, I'm not going to try and eat yours

- Here's £50, go buy yourself something nice.

- Quick, quick, the footy is about to start. Don't worry I've already got you a beer.

- Please shag my two best mates together.. I want to prove how great you are in bed

- Sometimes I wish I was only 3 ft. tall, had wheels, a flat head you could balance a pint on and lips like Angelina Jolie

- I'm so impressed that you can flick the condom into the bin without moving from bed!!

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