Out of the mouth of babes!

These are all real, posted in the Football Forum at F365.

'Can't you just turn off the football? I'll let you bum me!'
(JOE2.0)
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'Get off or I will start screaming. '
(Blode)
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My missus thought a third was bigger than a half. What the hell will our kids be like?
(Newman)
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‘if you are in a flood like the tsunami could you not go underwater and hold your breath til it drains away’
(Pell)
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"Where you from then?"
‘Glasgow’
"Where's that then?"
‘Er... Scotland’
"Oh yeah, that's in Wales, innit?"
(badtomsmullet)
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Playing a quiz game at Christmas and needing to name a book beginning with "H".
She shouts "Harry Potter and the prisoner of Azerbaijan!"
I laughed so hard I leaked!
(Greesy Spic)
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"Are Arsenal named after Arsene Wenger?"
(BuxtonFCBoy)
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Q:"what fruit is most used as a fake gun in crime".
A: "Tomato"?
(Prawn Star)
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My very well educated wife..
" Whats the capital of Amsterdam?"
A true blonde moment for her.
(EFC Crafty)
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Just remembered a gem my sister came out with:
While playing Trivial Persuit years ago she answered the following question:
"To which country do the Faroe Islands belong?"
Her answer?
Quick as a flash - "EGYPT!"
She's a teacher
(Simmo)
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Watching an England game a while back....
GF: I thought David Beckham played for Real Madrid.
Me: Yeah.... And England.
GF: You can play for both?!
Me: Yeah.
GF: But Real Madrid's in Italy! Why England?.....What?

So many things wrong.... (Flash Heart)
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What about Donna Air asking the Corrs 'where did you guys meet?
(mickeydazzler)
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On holiday in Greece, chatting away to these girls at the pool side. I had just bought a miniture bottle of Greek brandy. One of them picks it up, reads the label, turns to her mate and says, "ooooh, 40% how do they get that much in such a small bottle?"
To which I just shake my head and agree that it is really clever. Thought it might be easier!
(bobbyaro)
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Me driving her directing.
her: 'turn left, left, left I said left, oh no'
me: 'so you wanted me to turn right'
(Malden Blue)
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In the Indian..
My GF ordered a Punani Naan instead of a Peshwari.
(Emannuel Goldstein)
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Whilst watching England play Nigeria, a team of 11 big black blokes in bright green shirts during WC2002...
Which ones are England?
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Whilst discussing our vehicles...
I've just noticed, all our cars are French!
At the time we had a Renault... A Honda and a Toyota
(Censored)
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"ARE AMERICA IN EURO 2004?"
(Hotbeej Injection)

Wot's the silliest thing YOU'VE ever heard from a woman?? Post it in comments!