Drumroll please for da new gangsta who's joinin us, BENNY C

Ben Coleman, Westcliff on Sea, UK, 29

Benny C is our brand-spanking-new blogger for this.is.anfield and will be reporting live and direct from da UK. He'll be blogging about random stuff, anything from breaking willies to getting shagged by the entire liverpool squad (Neil Mellor included) and commenting on Rafa's latest signings. And I hope after reading this questionnaire (which was part of the recruitment interview) you will not take the piss and infact make him feel great to be a part of 'da blogsphere' as you have done with moi.

So Benny, which (current) Liverpool player are you most like and why?
Jamie Carragher – I am reliable and loyal, not too bothered about being in the spotlight (my time will come) and fucking good at what I do.

It is said a person is judged by the company they keep. Tell us a bit about the people you associate with most.
My boss Sarah - has a bit of a princess complex, and likes 80’s music a bit too much but is a top laugh and can keep up with the drinking. (Is also the cause of many, many lost nights and hangovers!). Dan – current housemate, funny, funny guy. Has ability for magic (it’s up his sleeve!) and smoking way too much….barbeques we have had are the stuff of legend. Katie Lou – My hip sister, she know where it’s at (her husband is alright too.). Danny – guitar legend and part time drinker (another source of hangovers), supports West Ham but we don’t hold that against him. Special shout to Andy (longest serving friend) and Nick, don’t see them as much as I should but they know the score.

Where did you watch The Champions League Final?
Watched the final at home with Danny. At half time I was rocking back and forth saying “if we get a quick goal we are in with a shout” over and over….never expected the final result and it spawned a 24 hour session that started with champagne from Liverpool mugs and me spending way too much time on the phone to Liverpool (my cousin – not the team)

What is the most embarrassing thing that has happened to you?
I guess the most embarrassing thing (there are many) was probably being dumped at a
party in front of everyone. (Cheers Vicky, 10 years later – I still carry the scars)

If you could do anything you wanted, what would you do for the greater 'good' of Mancunians.?
I want to make this clear, the majority of Mancunians are cool, city loving rascals (sure, they would stab you for a tenner, but they are funny with it) saying that though, I do sometimes have fantasies about Old Trafford exploding during a Man U/Arsenal match. I guess I would let Malcolm Glazer take over the club and transform it into the “Salford Quays Red Sox” or something. (Erm, wait a minute…..)

If you were a girl, which liverpool player would you most want to sleep with?
A few years ago I would have said Jamie Redknapp (good looking boy – wife’s not too shabby either) but now I guess it would have to be John Arne Riise (got a weakness for redheads….) no wait, Luis Garcia, no Sami Hyypia (he’s like a god), or Alonso, maybe Morientes, not forgetting Carragher, or Gerrard, or even The Lord of Frodsham, erm, all of them? (Thank Christ Stephen Wright has left!!!) I may not be that fussy, even Kewell is quite attractive (shame he can’t play for anyone but Leeds)…..I think I have issues (or we have a really good looking squad?)

Have you ever experienced any injury(ies) during a sexual encounter?
Ah the stories I could tell…..the answer to this is a most resounding yes, and it could be a warning to all of you out there. A few years back I was pounced on by my girlfriend at the time. She wanted it, she wanted it now, we were off…there was a snapping sound (yes it was audible) and a sharp sensation I had not experienced before……then came the blood (you would be surprised how much blood there is…I don’t like to talk about it), needless to say the banjo string, or mandolin string (which ever you prefer) had snapped. Several weeks later I discovered, with great alarm I may add, that it had not snapped completely. Yes it happened again….so imagine the worst possible place you can get injured, imagine the pain (you there yet?) now imagine it happening TWICE!

Only me then. Pray it does not happen to you.

This is why fellas, even if for no other reason, you should perform cunnilingus, for at least an hour…..

If you think this is weird, wait until you read the rest of it. Click here to continue reading Benny C's interview!