Ladies and Gentlemen, put your hands together

for Marky Mark - our new Far East Correspondent who will be reporting from reds-mad Singapore with just over 3 weeks left before our season kicks off. Marky Mark is an Englishman with a Scouse dad and himself grew up as an expat in Singapore. Here's his (highly entertaining) interview:

Which (current) Liverpool player are you most like and why?
Igor Biscan (if you still count him as a liverpool player). Am usually shite, but every now and then i pull a rabbit out of the hat and run pass 5 people and score (exaggeration). It is a similar story in real life. I take the back seat until someone forces me to get off my arse and do something.

It is said a person is judged by the company they keep. Tell us a bit about the people you associate with most.
David- Alcoholic french guy that ive known for 2 years now. He was the first person to get me completely smashed. Smokes like a biatch and has pretty much done every kind of drug out there......when he was 16. Also earlier this year he went on the 14 day straight drinking session. He got pissed every night, either with his girlfriend or with one of us then came to school in the morning and slept. Lots of fun to be around with.Minhaz, Mihir, Ronil- Its the four of us with david that are drinking buddies. Go out every week and meet up with other people and get pissed.

We always end up finding something stupid to do, even in singapore. (we got caught once for throwing a trash can into the Singapore River and kicked out of a bar for downing peanuts,- it was a competition; minhaz won.)Kapil and Shanker- Smoking buddies; live around me. We usually meet up 3-4 times a week and go for a smoke late at night (usually turns into 5-6 smokes). Its nice and chilled at that time, and usually a nice way to waste your night away talking, instead of sitting at home.

What are your secret guilty pleasures (the sort of thing you would rather other people didn't know about but you really like doing...)
Hmmm, guilty pleasure.... Probably have to be chocolate. I love it and eat a lot of it.

Where did you watch The Champions League Final 2005?
The 25th of May was also my graduation night of high school. So everyone went out to the club after the ceremony and got pissed. But not me. I tried to remain resonable sober the whole time because of the final. So at 3 am me and a few more mates left to try to find a place to watch it. All the big places were already closed so eventually we found a little hawker that had a pretty big tv.

It was already one nil when we got there and i was there with two ac milan supporters, so you can imagine the shit i had to put up with when it got to 2-nil and 3-nil. It started raining like a bitch in extra time but because the covered area was too far away from the tv, me and a couple other guys sat in the rained, with out suits on, at 5 o clock in the morning. After the penalty shootout we were jumping in the rain before having are winning pint.

What is the most embarrassing thing that has happened to you?
If i could pick out a certain incident in recent memory, it would probably be hoping over a fence to pick up a football during a game at lunch on the astro pitch in school. You see, the fukn astro pitch has a waist level fence all around it, for what i dont know, but it does have a fence for some reason. And because this game was played at lunchtime, every one was watching, a few teachers, the guys, and most importantly, the girls.

So i jumped over this little fence to ge the football but my trailing leg gets stuck when im on the way down on the other side, and as a result i do a half rotation before falling into the drain (oh wait thats what the fence is for). And remember this is infront of EVERYONE. (Thank You Sasha for atleast moving towards me to help me up) Oh the embarrassment though....It was so embarrasing that even my mates didnt diss me about it. Luckily it nots the kind of thing that stays with you long term.

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