Yes, they actually said that.
Okay so I'm out of original stuff so here's some brilliant quotes that i spotted somewhere recently.
(On going to war over religion)
"You're basically killing each other to see who's got the better imaginary friend."
Yassa Arrafat (PLO leader)
"Luge strategy? Lie flat and try not to die."
Carmen Boyle (Olympic Luge Gold Medal winner 1996)
"There are only two reasons to sit in the back row of an airplane: Either you have diarrhea, or you're anxious to meet people who do."
Henry Kissinger (former US Secretary of State)
"My girlfriend always laughs during sex -- no matter what she's reading."
Steve Jobs (Founder: Apple Computers)
"Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is."
Barbara Bush (Former US First Lady)
"I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with 'Guess' on it. I said, "Thyroid problem?'"
Arnold Swarzenegger
"Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps."
Tiger Woods
"Things you'll never hear a woman say: 'My, what an attractive scrotum!'"
Patricia Arquette
"I read somewhere that 77 per cent of all the mentally ill live in poverty. Actually, I'm more intrigued by the 23 per cent who are apparently doing quite well for themselves."
Jerry Garcia (Grateful Dead)
"I've discovered that I scream the same way whether I'm about to be devoured by a Great White or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot."
Axel Rose (Guns'n'Roses)
"Capital punishment turns the state into a murderer. But imprisonment turns the state into a gay dungeon-master."
Rev. Jesse Jackson
"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch."
Jack Nicholson
(On going to war over religion)
"You're basically killing each other to see who's got the better imaginary friend."
Yassa Arrafat (PLO leader)
"Luge strategy? Lie flat and try not to die."
Carmen Boyle (Olympic Luge Gold Medal winner 1996)
"There are only two reasons to sit in the back row of an airplane: Either you have diarrhea, or you're anxious to meet people who do."
Henry Kissinger (former US Secretary of State)
"My girlfriend always laughs during sex -- no matter what she's reading."
Steve Jobs (Founder: Apple Computers)
"Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is."
Barbara Bush (Former US First Lady)
"I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with 'Guess' on it. I said, "Thyroid problem?'"
Arnold Swarzenegger
"Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps."
Tiger Woods
"Things you'll never hear a woman say: 'My, what an attractive scrotum!'"
Patricia Arquette
"I read somewhere that 77 per cent of all the mentally ill live in poverty. Actually, I'm more intrigued by the 23 per cent who are apparently doing quite well for themselves."
Jerry Garcia (Grateful Dead)
"I've discovered that I scream the same way whether I'm about to be devoured by a Great White or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot."
Axel Rose (Guns'n'Roses)
"Capital punishment turns the state into a murderer. But imprisonment turns the state into a gay dungeon-master."
Rev. Jesse Jackson
"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch."
Jack Nicholson
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