Thursday, March 01, 2007

Top 20 Manliest Movies of All Time

With the highest onscreen body count of any film ever made upon release, this curt, 86 minute blood fest has the ultimate plot: revenge. The McGuffin is the Governator’s daughter, with nary a sign of a mother figure. Gasp as Arnie punches his way across the world! Grit your teeth as he jumps out of planes without a parachute into crocodile infested waters with nary a scratch! High five as he puns his away across a series of ever gorier death scenes! And finally, camp it up as John Matrix faces off against Vernon Wells’ Bennett, the campest bad guy in cinema history. It’s none-too-subtle face-off – raging hetero versus raging homo, but breeder was always going to beat bummer. A bad episode of 80’s action TV writ large it may be, but it’s got balls the size of goddamn Sherman tanks.

Manliest moment: Matrix impales Bennett on a large pipe – heterosexuals for the win!

Click here for the full list

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