Tuesday, August 23, 2005

Vampire Baby Freaks



Hate babies? this one's for you.

Kill the bastards!

D E A D B A B Y J O K E S
WARNING: OFFENSIVE /VILE CONTENT

Q: Why are test tube babies the most beautiful ones
A: Because they're hand made.

Q: What do you do when your baby dies on Thanksgiving day?
A: Stuff the turkey with it.

Q. Why do babies have soft spots on their heads?
A. So the nurses can carry them around five at a time!

Q. What's the definition for pain?
A. Sliding a baby down a 50' razor blade into a pool of rubbing alcohol!

Q. What's the definition for gross?
A. A truck full of dead babies and one live one on the bottom eating his way out!

Q: Why does the husband always bring boiling water at a birth?
A: In case the baby dies, he can make soup.

Q : What's the worst thing a blind, deaf baby can get for Christmas ?
A : Cancer

Q : What's white and bobs up and down in a baby's cot?
A : A Pedophile's ass.

Q: What do vegetarian dingo's eat?
A: Cabbage patch kids.

Q: What do you call a baby on a stick?
A: A Kebabie.

Q: What do you call a baby on a stick with no kidneys?
A: Donor Kebabie.

Q: What did the mother say to the baby on a stick that was crying?
A: "Shush, Kebabie!"

Q: What's the difference between a baby and a bagel?
A: You can put a bagel in the toaster. You have to put the baby in the oven.

Q. What is brown and keeps it's juices in?
A. A baby in an oven bag.

Q: How do you spoil a baby?
A: Leave it out in the sun.

Q: Why did the shark fisherman stop at the abortion clinic?
A: Dead babies make the best chum.

Q: What's charred black and smells really bad?
A: A baby playing with a blow torch.

Q. What was the baby doing on the wall?
A. Playing darts. It was the board.

Q. What was the baby doing on the table?
A. Lying on its tummy. It was the pin cushion.

Q: What is 18" long, cold and stiff, and makes a woman scream in the morning?
A: Crib death.

Q: What's worse (or more fun) than a dead baby in art class?
A: Pinning it up on the bulletin board.

Q: What's worse than finding a dead baby on your pillow in the morning?
A: Realizing you were drunk and made love to it the night before.

Q: What's the difference between a bucket of gravel and a bucket of placenta?
A: You can't gargle gravel.

Q: What's more fun than a barrel of dead babies?
A: Sticking pins in their eyes.

10 Comments:

Blogger BrainSyke said...

Dude, most werent funny at all!

01:22  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

who the fuck puts baby jokes on their site, i mean it is your blog put use something called common sense they are innocent babies we are talking about, are you a sick arse or just someone with no brains

10:43  
Blogger Dirty Dan said...

wot a fucking joka! listen u dizzy muthafucka, if it aint your taste, fuck right off then to some other blog.

come back when you've got the ballz to leave ur details.

10:49  
Anonymous evil's father said...

give me your details so i cant beat the crap out of you that is why i am going to flag this blog you are a sicko

10:53  
Blogger Dirty Dan said...

LOL I can almost picture you as a 14 year old geek with big nerd specs and all. Here's my number, call me then, ya pussy.

+971 50 5154776

11:00  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

you are so wrong and i wont waste my time on useless scum like yourself i am just a man whose son died at 18 days old and one day if you ever feel that pain then you will know where i am coming from, and seeing what an evil cold hearted idiotic asshole you are i do wish you feel alot of pain for posting this kind of rubbish

11:05  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

you are so wrong and i wont waste my time on useless scum like yourself i am just a man whose son died at 18 days old and one day if you ever feel that pain then you will know where i am coming from, and seeing what an evil cold hearted idiotic asshole you are i do wish you feel alot of pain for posting this kind of rubbish

11:06  
Blogger Dirty Dan said...

keyboard warrior?

i thought so.

listen mate, i do feel sorry for your loss and i hope things get better for you. But I would advise you to stop taking everything you see on the interweb, seriously.

Just cuz people laugh at dead baby or diana or other dead people jokes does NOT mean that they are murderers. you can say i have a bad taste and i find vile jokes funny, but thats about it.

so, take a chill pill, and stop using the interweb cuz you'll only get more grief due to your present state of mind

11:10  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Q:Whats worse(or better) than ten dead babies in a trash can?
A:One dead baby in ten trash cans.

10:02  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

?
Fuck the Author

10:22  

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