Things you didn't know about Chavski

Petr Cech- lost his virginity before his dad did.

Paulo Ferreira- He does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Paulo Ferreira goes killing

John Terry- He once had cancer, but drank a galss of Sprite, and burped it out.

William Gallas- You will never see him have a bad game, in fact if its at night you won't see him at all.

Azier Del Horno- His tears cure AIDS. Too bad he has never cried

Wayne Bridge- BUMMed will Young

Claude Makelele- He once walked down the road with an erection. There were no survivors

Frank Lampard- In a bid to re-create little red riding hood, he dresses up as a wolf and killed all grandmothers in a twenty mile radius.

Michael Essien- He is not black. It's just that the sun is to afraid to shine on him.

Arjen Robben- He doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

Didier Drogba- He is shit