Jokes of the Day

Gary Glitter's wife asks him for a divorce.

When he asks her why, she answers "cos you're a paedophile!"

"Wow" says Gary, "that's a big word for a 9 year old."

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For years, this young lad from Manchester had een taking holidays at a country inn. The last time he'd finally managed an affair with the innkeeper's daughter. Looking forward to an exciting few days, he dragged his suitcase up the stairs of the inn, then stopped short. There sat his lover with an infant on her lap!

"Helen, why didn't you phone when you learned you were pregnant?" he cried. "I would have rushed up here, we could have gotten married, and the baby would have my name!"

"Well," she said, "when my folks found out about my condition, we sat-up all night talking and talking, and decided it would be better to have a bastard in the family than a Man Utd fan."