Ten Things That Would Stop The Hargreaves Booing

Poor old Owen Hargreaves, eh? As soon as the crowd see him taking off his trackie bottoms, the booing starts. But he only has to look to Peter Crouch for an example of how he can put a stop to it.

Our Peter, remember, suffered the same fate of being booed by the Engerland supporters at Old Trafford at the end of last year. And much as he might claim that he's convinced people that he's worth his place in the squad with his footballing ability, we're all still aware that he has the touch of a donkey and he can't head the ball despite being nine feet tall.

No, people no longer mind the Crouchatron because he has a silly dance. And while that may seem to be the ideal technique for ridding yourself of unwanted status as a pariah, if young Owen tried it he'd look like a copycat.

So here, for his benefit, are ten things he could do that would stop the booing:

1. The Locomotion.

2. A magic trick.

3. Get a pet monkey.

4. Cut his hair into a curly mullet. Oh wait.

5. Stamp on Jermaine Jenas' foot as he walks past.

6. Grow a Neviller 'tache.

7. Shave off Neviller's 'tache.

8. Buy everyone in the stadium a pint.

9. Get really fat.

10. Improve rapidly at football.