You know you're a Chelski fan when...
...you watch every Chelsea game, home or away on tele.
...you have to be taken into hospital with severe shock when you find a football magazine pre-dating 2002.
...you just repeat ad nauseum whatever bollox excuse your manager came out with when he had a bad result.
...you think John Terry and Frank Lampard are world class.
...a season ticket means a subscription to SKY.
...you dont know who Zola is
...your club has wasted half a billion on transfers and you lose to an understrength Liverpool team thanks to a headed goal from Peter Crouch
...you think its normal to have players valued at £20 mil plus on the bench
...you find yourself calling a man who raped his nation an 'entrepreneur'.
...you own a Man U shirt from 1999
...you think kenyon deserves to live
...you refuse to admit it anymore down the pub because of the embarssment of it all since you became a joke 'Football Manager on cheat mode' club.
...the definition of "youth sytem" and "player development" have to be explained.
...you think Lampard is better than Gerrard
...you refuse to shake the hand of an opponent who just beat you at darts/ pool/ snooker/ tiddlywinks/ chess/ backgammon/ travel scrabble/ slapsies/ conkers/ stone-paper-scissors on the grounds that you are the best and he/she had no right to do that and must have cheated. But then you sit smuggly at home realising that had you been 100% on the day, there wouldn't have been a contest and you tell everyone that, although you've spent an extortionate amount of money on the best darts/ pool cue/ snooker cue/ tiddlywink pieces/ chess set/ backgammon kit/ travel scrabble/ slapsies gloves/ oak tree/ stone-paper-scissors manual, your not upto where everyone else is at the moment cos you've been busy while they've been practising. Not a problem cos in about 1 week, you'll be back to being the best and nobody, but nobody, will stand in your way.
Oh!... and every so often you wake up and your friends have shaved your eyebrows and tatooed 'cunt' on your head.
...you have to be taken into hospital with severe shock when you find a football magazine pre-dating 2002.
...you just repeat ad nauseum whatever bollox excuse your manager came out with when he had a bad result.
...you think John Terry and Frank Lampard are world class.
...a season ticket means a subscription to SKY.
...you dont know who Zola is
...your club has wasted half a billion on transfers and you lose to an understrength Liverpool team thanks to a headed goal from Peter Crouch
...you think its normal to have players valued at £20 mil plus on the bench
...you find yourself calling a man who raped his nation an 'entrepreneur'.
...you own a Man U shirt from 1999
...you think kenyon deserves to live
...you refuse to admit it anymore down the pub because of the embarssment of it all since you became a joke 'Football Manager on cheat mode' club.
...the definition of "youth sytem" and "player development" have to be explained.
...you think Lampard is better than Gerrard
...you refuse to shake the hand of an opponent who just beat you at darts/ pool/ snooker/ tiddlywinks/ chess/ backgammon/ travel scrabble/ slapsies/ conkers/ stone-paper-scissors on the grounds that you are the best and he/she had no right to do that and must have cheated. But then you sit smuggly at home realising that had you been 100% on the day, there wouldn't have been a contest and you tell everyone that, although you've spent an extortionate amount of money on the best darts/ pool cue/ snooker cue/ tiddlywink pieces/ chess set/ backgammon kit/ travel scrabble/ slapsies gloves/ oak tree/ stone-paper-scissors manual, your not upto where everyone else is at the moment cos you've been busy while they've been practising. Not a problem cos in about 1 week, you'll be back to being the best and nobody, but nobody, will stand in your way.
Oh!... and every so often you wake up and your friends have shaved your eyebrows and tatooed 'cunt' on your head.
Check 'dis
posted by Dirty Dan at 7:29 PM
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