Some jokes sent in by our readers

Q: What's small, falls out the sky and makes your girlfriend wet?

A: Me with a parachute

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A guy comes to his doctor and says "Doc, my peepee hurts"

Dr. says, you've got chinese crabs, we gonna have to cut it off.

He goes to another doctor, and the other doctor tells him the same thing.

So he's completely freaked, he goes to a holistic healer, shows it to him, and asks the guy, "Do we have to cut it off?"

Healer says, "Of course not."

So the guy, massively relieved, thanks him.

But the healer says, "It'll fall off by itself!"

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Two guys are pushing their shopping trolleys around a store when they collide.

The first guy says to the second guy, "Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going".

The second guy says, "That's OK. It's a coincidence. I'm looking for my wife, too. I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate".

The first guy says, "Well, maybe we can help each other. What does your wife look like"?

The second guy says, "Well, she is 27 yrs old, tall, with blonde hair, blue eyes, big breasts and is wearing short shorts and a tank top. What does your wife look like"?

The first guy says, "Doesn't matter --- let's look for yours."

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What do you call a woman with two c**ts?

Mrs. Neville

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A rich man has three girlfriends, but can't decide which one to marry. To decide he comes up with an idea.

He gives them each £1000 and tell them they can do with the money what they wish.

The first woman goes straight out and spends the money on shoes.

The second woman goes out spends half the money on shoes and gives the other half to charity.

The third woman goes out and gives the whole £1000 to charity.

So, which one do you think he marries?
























The one with the big tits.

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