this.is.anfield: 04 February 2007

Djibril Cisse breaks LEG!!!!

Though, for a change, not his own this time!

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The Super Liverpool Reds Roster!

Scouts have prepared a guide to the Liverpool Reds' squad - including Craig Bellamy, who has 'switched franchises several times in career amid rumors of all-star level jackassery'. It's all here...

Jose (Pepé) Reina
Netminder with an impressive 19 shutouts this regular season. Save average of .854 in last five outs. Replaces New Jerzy Dudek as first-choice goaltender after veteran's series of high-profile handling errors. Nicknamed after Pepé Le Pew, the cheese-eating surrender skunk.

James 'The Minister Of Defense' Carragher
Captain of defense and native 'Scouser'. 2963 minutes of field time with powerplay change-up stats of 5-6-3. Awesome displays in penalty zone versus aerial offense plays. Awesome displays at club Christmas parties. Distribution ranked only 245th in EPL. Note: communication may be difficult as James does not speak English.

Steve O'Finnan
Defensive cornerback/outside linebacker ranked six in division for forward offense running plays. Highly-rated change-up, groundspeed. 245 defensive tackle ratio. Proud Irishman: merchandising opportunities with millions of east coast Americans who are 1/64 from Cork. Vital cornerman, new shorts.

Sam Hyypia
Veteran centerblocker famed for aerial rebound ability, composureability, although lacks change-up, questions over groundplay v forwards with nimbleness quotient. Radical air with headbombs from special plays ensures a conversions per season tally average of six. Hails from Finlandland, a country in Europe that is part of the 'Axis Of Pleasantness'.

John-Arnold Riise
Cornerman who regularly features in goalshot of the month sweeps with a left peg rated in top five nationwide for sweetness. Rookie, sophomore seasons raised expectations of possible Hall of Famer status but recent semesters have seen the person of redly-challenged hair demoted to bullpen on occasion. 7-6-8.

Gerrard Steven
Team MVP, captain and midfielderman famed for power running, pass accuracy, assists. Has dressed as center, right wingerbacker (offensive and defensive) and even as secondary power forward. Can rush goal or sit back in the pocket. Career high came in Pro-Ball showdown against the Milan Tumblers in Istanbul (believed site of WMD).

Craig Bellamy
Controversial wide receiver/goal forward rated division's third most likely player to face red card takedown in grudge slams. Lightning fast in joggy work down winglines, although critics question net targeting infield. Has switched franchises several times in career amid rumors of all-star level jackassery.

Robert Bernard Fowler
Veteran strike attacker and all-time Liverpool Reds Hall of Famer. Once considered league MVP for shotzone rebounds and accuracy in the paint. Famously flagged on field for displaying his tight end to opponent Graeme Le Saux, and for calling into question The War On Drugs.

Xavi Alonso (ITA)
6-5-7, 12, 468, 0.43, 0, 0, 0, 1, 0, 98632548, 1, 1, 0 (?), 0, 1. 0.3.

Jermaine Pennant
Wide receiver/running forward has rushed for over 1,000 yards in Liverpool Reds rookie season. Crossfields delivery success rate well into point-seven-ohs, play action, sprinty, jigglebomb, DUI. 6.662. Off-field activities saw him given bum's rush from Steve Bruskowski's Birmingham Brums. Only soccerplayer on roster with a sensible sportsman's name.

Peter Crouch Jr
Power forward who could have potential if consortium moves into NBA. Noted for headbomb assists, ganglyhole, salmon leap, robotics. 0.673, runners batted in, three points. Traded several times early in career but has flourished under head coach Benitez at the Anfield Taco Bellodrome.

Alan B Tyers III Junior (Football 365)

Sold to the USA

February 6th, 2007: A defining day in the long and decorated history of England's most successful club.

Last week when Dubai International Capital withdrew their bid, I was devastated. And angry. Angry at what looked like the incompetence shown by the board, mainly Rick Parry and David Moores, at closing the deal with Dubai's investment giants. I never wanted Liverpool to be sold, but the sad truth in today's sport is that it was perhaps the only we'd have been able to compete with our rivals. Had Shankley seen our league performance for the last few years, he wouldn't have been too impressed. At Liverpool, its all about winning trophies. The directors are there merely to sign the cheques (quoting Shankly).

Personall I really wanted the DIC deal to go through, as, living in Dubai, I have first hand experience of what they're all about. Sheikh Maktoum is a winner and won't settle on being second best. (First is first, second is nothing - Shankly). They had incredible resources and were fans of the sport. The chairman Samir Ansari was a lifelong supporter. They understood the history of the club, the traditions, the passion that the fans had.

With Gillett and Hicks, its unclear as to what they know about the sport, let alone the most decorated club in English football. Even though there have been positive noises coming out of them, they'd say that though wouldn't they, being businessmen and all.

Now, admittedly I dont have a clue about these two gents, but having taken a brief look at articles on fansites, it seems that they are loved and hated in equal measure by fans of the 'franchises' they own. They have spent ridiculous amounts of money, all loaned from the bank, in the past and Gillett has even been bankrupted once. To be fair to him though he did make the money back fairly quick. The teams they own haven't really won much either since these two have bought them and thats the most worrying thing, for me, as a supporter. Will these two be content with midtable finishes year after year as long as they're lining their pockets? Evidence from their other 'franchises' suggest that may be the case. We'll have to wait and see.

As supporters of the club, nothing can change what you feel in your heart. We'll still bleed as red as we used to and will passionately sing 'Poor Scouser Tommy' and 'You'll Never Walk Alone' on top of our voices every week. We'll still take the piss out of Man Utd fans and remind the blueshite that they'll forever be in our shadow. We'll still piss ourselves laughing and celebrate Carra's next goal, although hopefully it'll take less than 7 years this time. Above all, we will still, and ALWAYS, support Liverpool Football Club come what may.

Somewhere though, a little part of Liverpool Football Club has died today.

Breaking News: Transfers Announced as Hicks/Giller take over Liverpool

Liverpool (AP): In an astonishing development here at Anfield, hours after completing the takeover of the Merseyside club, the new owners Tom Hicks and George Gillet have announced they will be bringing in a new keeper to replace Reina and the multimillion pound signing of one of the world's top central defenders.

Breaking News from Goodison Park: Everton have announced they have also signed a central defender

Thanks to Captain Charisma!