Saturday, October 22, 2005

WTF of the day - The Curry and Rice Girl

We bring you from India, The Curry and Rice Girl (although I suspect it was probably shot in Southall)

Grand Theft Auto St. Andreas

ever wondered what it would look like in REAL LIFE? - This is amazing, you gotta check it out.

Related Posts: GTA Hidden Porn Scene

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You KNOW you're addicted to Bollywood if...

1. You read an article about the Oscars or Golden Globes and realize you haven't seen any of the films (except the Indian entry) and don't really care about who gets what award.

2. You're watching TV and the romantic couple embrace at the end and you say, "OMYGOD! He kissed her RIGHT ON THE LIPS!! EEEUUUUWWWW!" and flip over to The Weather Channel out of sheer revulsion.

3. You've enabled the closed-captioning on your TV because things just don't seem right without subtitles.

4. The owner of the local Indian cinema emails you two weeks beforehand to let you know when advance tickets for the opening night of "Kaante" will go on sale. Just like he did for "Road" and "Devdas" and "Shakti" and ....

5. You read an article about a local cancer researcher, Dr. Patel, who looks a lot like Jimmy Shergill. When it gets to the life outside of work part, you discover he's single. Your very first thought is, "Wow, a Suitable Boy for Parul in Marketing!!!" Extra points awarded if you wonder how to get her parents introduced to his parents. Additional extra points awarded for not considering for a second how Parul and Dr. Patel should meet each other or any of that usual dating stuff. I mean, the parents know best, right?

6. Men: You look at the covers of magazines at the checkstand and start fantasizing about Halle Berry with 20 more pounds on her. Extra points awarded if you mentally rate Calista Flockhart "Two Woofs on the Dog-o-meter".

7. Women: You look at the covers of magazines at the checkstand and think "pathetic little fancy-lad" when you see Leonardo DiCaprio. Extra points awarded if you wonder what "Friends" would be like with attractive and likeable characters, like the ones in "Dil Vil Pyar Vyar".

8. Engineers: Half of the women in the office wear salwar kameez and you think nothing of it. Men: Extra points if you don't flirt with the single one that looks like Kajol in the next cube because, after all, she's a decent girl...

9. You go on a road trip with some friends in your car. They pull out your CD collection of soundtracks and ask you politely whether you have some other kind of music. Without a pause, you tell them you have some Malkit Singh the Bhangra King in the back of the CD case, right behind the Udit Narayan Greatest Hits Volumes 3 and 4.

10. Daler Mehndi music videos make sense, even Tunak Tunak Tun.

11. You go to a Hindi movie with your 9-year-old daughter, niece, etc. and there's no subtitles. You explain the plot and some of the dialogue to her as the film goes along, even though you don't speak Hindi. At the interval, I mean intermission, the Tamil woman behind you complements you on how well you must be speaking Hindi as she wasn't too sure about some of the plot points and used your "translation" to keep up with the film. True fact: this actually happened to someone I know.

12. The owner of the video/grocery store starts asking YOU which films he should carry.

You've stopped feeling guilty about your cheeseburger containing cheese and starting feeling guilty because it contains cow.)

13. The non-BW film ends after an hour and a half and you say,'what? we're just getting warmed up!'

14. You rent four DVDs and the indian woman behind the counter says, 'so i'll see you the day after tomorrow, then?'

15. You do the little head-bobble when you get excited

16. You drop your cable subscription

17. You decide 4 a.m. is a perfectly acceptable time to go to bed on a Tuesday.

18. You keep saying 'hah' instead of 'yes'

19. You realize you can sing along to certain songs, phonetically, without actually knowing hindi -- and you try to sing both the man and woman's parts in different voices. And then you realize the person in the car next to you is staring.

20. You spend way too much time wondering whether Aamir wears lifts.

21. Leonardo who?

22. When you are in the store and say to the owner, "I have the original Tamil DVD of this movie, if you'd like to borrow it."

23. The store owner says, "You watch more Hindi films than I this a good movie?"

24. While sitting on the bus telling a non-Indian friend about the Hindi movies you own, the row of desis sitting behind you ask if they can rent from you (true story).

25. You think that Harrison Ford would be a really decent actor if he learned to dance.

26. Your favourite earrings are a pair of big silver hoops, and you wear your longish hair in a middle parting (who knows if a hero might inadvertently want to adorn you with sindoor, right?).

27. You come home from a party at 2am and watch KKHH.

28. Your local grocer starts chatting to you in Hindi.

29. A friend tells you they saw the two towers last night and you have no idea what they're talking about.

30. You go to Green Street, East Ham (vibrant Pakistani + Bengali part of east London) and catch yourself eyeing the young mens' noses, comparing them for loveliness against the standard of Shah Rukh's.

31. You sing to your cats in Hindi.

32. A friend (english) drops by and says 'isn't your taste moving in a kitsch direction'.

33. A friend (punjabi) drops by and says 'my mum would really like your drapes / sofa throw / shower curtain'.

34. When you listen to your favorite soundtrack, and know where each song was sung in the film.

35. When you find it refreshing to watch a movie in English.

36. When you tell your friends your dream guy is like the main character in "Itihaas History of Love."

37. When you try to fit nine to twelve hours of movie time into one day.

38. You can genuinely no longer understand why anyone would protest that the female singers' voices are too "squeaky."

39. You start to find wisecracks about the sudden costume- and location-changes in the dance numbers not only irritating, but downright juvenile.

40. You begin to believe that if Shahrukh sang, he really would sound like Udit Narayan.

Also checkout:
How to spot a Desi

Things to ponder

Aint it ironic that...

1. Online pop-ups offering to help you get rid of online pop-ups advertisements.
2. When your Seeing Eye dog goes blind.
3. Needing to pay someone to help you pay your taxes.
3. Wondering if you are entitled to the deep sense of loss you feel when a celebrity you admire dies.
4. That Valentine's Day was placed in February, just in case single people who have recovered from the loneliness that Christmas and New Year's Eve induced.
5. That even the fanciest restaurants suffer from pest-control problems.
6. Wondering who was rude enough to leave an empty roll of toilet paper and then remembering it was you.
7. Tipping the bartender for handing you a bottle of beer, but giving nothing to the guy who pumps your gas in the pouring rain.
8. That we judge balding men by the choices they make in copying with their baldness.
9. That finding your roach traps empty only adds to your fear that they don't work, instead of reassuring you that you don't have roaches anymore.
10. That all good things come to an end, but some mediocre things seem to last a very long time.
11. When you wish, as you blow out the candles, is that this be the last birthday you spend with the people around you.
12. Cults that build up huge arsenals, refuse to pay taxes, and complain that the FBI is watching over them.
13. People who refuse to see a psychologist because they don't need to pay someone to help them out with their issues, but will gladly spend $100 a week at a tanning salon.
14. What most telescopes are used for.
15. When your fear of overpacking causes you to underpack.
16. Paying a toll to cross a bridge when you know you're going in the wrong direction.
17. The fact that many old people are forced to live out the remainder of their lives in formerly good neighborhoods.
18. Paying three bucks for a cup of soda that's 70 percent ice.
19. That the most intense laughter you have usually comes at the least appropriate time.
20. That you wouldn't have the faintest idea if your accountant was ripping you off.

The Aviator

I have this retarded habit of missing out on all the best movies while they're in theatres and ending up watching some absolute stinkers instead. Its only a few months after they're off the cinema screens that I get around to watching them on DVD.

The Aviator, I thought, is probably one of the most interesting and memorable movies I've seen for quite some time. As you'll probably know by now, it tells the story of aviation pioneer Howard Hughes (Leonardo DiCaprio), the eccentric billionaire industrialist and Hollywood film mogul, famous for romancing some of the world's most beautiful women. The drama recounts the years of his life from the late 1920s through the 1940s, an epoch when Hughes was directing and producing Hollywood movies and test flying innovative aircrafts he designed and created.

I must admit, before watching The Aviator, I wasn't really a a DiCaprio fan... not at all. However watching his full transformation into Howard Hughes was simply riviting and deeply emotioanlly compelling. I can't recall the last time I felt so sympathetic towards a character. The film is gorgeous and DiCaprio's performance so spot on and so accurate that one truly feels both the Hughe's anguish and ecstatic joy at his success.

Wikipedia's entry on Howard Hughes for some interesting information about him. Did you know he actually invented the half-cup bra?

The use of computers in movies...

Word processors never display a cursor.

You never have to use the space-bar when typing long sentences.

All monitors display inch-high letters.

The most relevant information is displayed in a separate windows right in the middle of the screen, but there's never an Ok button to other way to close it.

High-tech computers, such as those used by NASA, the CIA, or some such governmental institution, will have easy to understand graphical interfaces. Those that don't, have incredibly powerful text-based command shells that can correctly understand and execute commands typed in plain English.

Corollary: you can gain access to any information you want by simply typing "ACCESS ALL OF THE SECRET FILES" on any keyboard.

Likewise, you can infect a computer with a destructive virus by simply typing "UPLOAD VIRUS" (see Fortress).

All computers are connected. You can access the information on the villain's desktop computer, even if it's turned off.

Powerful computers beep whenever you press a key or whenever the screen changes. Some computers also slow down the output on the screen so that it doesn't go faster than you can read.

The really advanced ones also emulate the sound of a dot-matrix printer. (See The Hunt For Red October or Alien)

All computer panels have thousands of volts and flash pots just underneath the surface. Malfunctions are indicated by a bright flash, a puff of smoke, a shower of sparks, and an explosion that forces you backwards.

Corollary: sending data to a modem/tape drive/printer faster than expected causes it to explode.

People typing away on a computer will turn it off without saving the data. (See the opening credits for The Hunt For Red October)

A hacker can get into the most sensitive computer in the world before intermission and guess the secret password in two tries.

Any PERMISSION DENIED error has an OVERRIDE function (see Demolition Man and countless others).

Complex calculations and loading of huge amounts of data will be accomplished in under three seconds. Movie modems (especially the wireless ones they must be using when they're in the car) usually appear to transmit data at the speed of two gigabytes per second.

When the power plant/missile-site/whatever overheats, all the control panels will explode, as will the entire building.

If a disk has got encrypted files, you are automatically asked for a password when you try to access them.

No matter what kind of computer disk it is, it'll be readable by any system you put it into. All application software is usable by all computer platforms.

The more high-tech the equipment, the more buttons it has (Aliens). However, everyone must have been highly trained, because none of the buttons are labelled.

Most computers, no matter how small, are able to produce reality-defying three-dimensional, active animation, photo-realistic graphics, with little or no detailed input from the user.

Laptops, for some strange reason, always seem to have amazing real-time video phone capabilities and the performance of a CRAY Supercomputer.

Whenever a character looks at a VDU, the image is so bright that it projects itself onto his/her face (see Alien, 2001, Jurassic Park).

Either a Jacob's Ladder or a Van Der Graaf Generator is absolutely necessary for the operation of new, experimental computers (especially when built by brilliant scientists), although in real life, these devices do absolutely nothing.

One can issue any complex set of commands in a few keystokes (see Star Trek).

The internet connects to everything in the movies. You can edit credit records, search hotel registries, lookup police criminal files, search (and edit) drivers license databases, edit social security files and more just using the internet! (see The Net)

Smashing the VDU prevents the whole system from working (see Speed).

You can launch nuclear missles from any bedroom using an analog modem, but only if you know a single secret password (see War Games).

Thursday, October 20, 2005

Watch Cisse's goal

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Karachiites doing the country proud


From what I've heard from various sources, the chaps at the PAF museum are doing a fantastic job. I'm off to Karachi for EID next week - will be able to report first-hand.

Here's a letter from a Karachiite.

AT this time of our national tragedy, in the midst of harrowing news coming from the northern parts of Pakistan, I have witnessed heart-warming scenes in Karachi, the “ghareeb parwar’ city, as it opened its heart to alleviate the suffering of the earthquake-affected people. People in other cities must also be striving hard, but what I have witnessed in Karachi renewed my faith in the generosity of the human spirit.

As I drove to the Pakistan Air Force Museum, which had been declared as one of the many collection centres for relief goods, I saw an endless stream of vehicles, bumper-to-bumper, stretching back some kilometres out on Sharea Faisal. Starting from expensive trendy cars to old rundown vehicles, all had made a disciplined beeline, taking whatever relief supplies they could afford. There was no honking, no overtaking.

With patient perseverance, the citizens of Karachi were just concentrating on fulfilling a humanitarian duty with all the love and affection they could muster.

There could not have been a better example of unity, faith and discipline. The most touching scenes were of people on motorcycles carrying bags of sugar, atta and tins of ghee. From the physical appearances of some of these motorcyclists, I was wondering how they could afforded relief goods. The Pakistan Air Force personnel and the civic agencies backing them were, as expected, the epitome of efficiency and dedication. The PAF base commander told me that he was emotionally moved by the response of the citizens of Karachi.

Here it may be mentioned that this was only one of the many collection centres established in Karachi. Numerous other relief collection centres set up by civil and military organizations continue to witness similar scenes. The spirit displayed by the citizens of Karachi augurs well for the future. Given good leadership, Karachi could well become the jewel of the Arabian Sea. Well done, Karachiites. May God bless Pakistan.


The way Karachiites are offering help towards the quake victims is undoubtedly the best thing to have come out of this tragedy. Students gather at the PAF museum from dawn to dusk every day despite the heat and Ramazan.

They keep working tirelessly to sort out the donations received. I believe that especially medical students should be asked to go and offer their help in the affected areas. This will prove to be a better test than any they will have had so far in their academic lives.


If you wish to contribue in any way or for more information, please visit the Karachi MetBlog

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Anderlecht 0 - 1 Liverpool

It's halftime in Brussels and Liverpool lead thanks to a wonder-strike by Cisse! Its amazing what confidence can do to a player and this being Cisse's 2nd goal in a week confirms that - coming after a difficult international week for him with reports of rifts between him and Benitez made headlines in all the tabloids.

Things did take a turn for the best when Cisse started upfront in a 4-4-2 at Blackburn, scored, and then shook Rafa's hand immediately afterwards in a big 'fuck you' to all those who doubted his relationship with Rafa.

There may have been probs between them but it was probably due to Rafa trying to get him to work hard for his place in the side and not take it for granted. It did work and now we've had 2 goals in a game and a half. Fingers crossed we might have more from him by the end of the game.

There's never been any serious doubts about his ability, he was afterall the leading scorer in the french league before he signed on for us. There were problems sometimes with his attitude on the field, not taking things seriously enough, complacency etc. Now that he knows he's not guaranteed a place in the side unless he keeps scoring, it can only be for the best, for Liverpool.


Liverpool hung on to the one goal advantage and inch closer to qualification to the next round with 7 points. You need 9 to be 100% sure i think, but 7 is good enough with the way Betis and Anderlecht are playing.

Kewell came on, only to make a few clumsy challenges and get himself booked, and then could've had an opportunity right at the end but he didn't bother to chase up on the ball.

I've had enough of him, I've officially lost confidence in this fella and I don't think he will ever be the player he used to be before joining us. Hope Rafa realises that too, the sooner the better.

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TIME Magazine: PhotoEssays - Some quite moving images

Victims stand in line for relief supplies in Balakot, Pakistan

Caring for the Survivors
Aid comes in and the search for victims continues as Pakistan and India work to recover from Saturday's devastating earthquakeOct. 13, 2005

Seriously injured woman gets help from a Pakistani soldier

After the Quake
Earthquake rescue efforts continue Oct. 09, 2005

Who needs women anymore?

Atleast you can switch this one off whenever you wanna.

Celebrity Butt-crack galleries!

Still about two weeks to go before Babe of the Day makes a return, until then you can either go through our list of Babe Gallery Blogs on the right, or checkout the
Celebrity Ass-crack galleries

Confucius's Wisdom

man who do business in whore house get jerked around
panties not best thing on earth, but next to it
war not determine who right War determine who left
woman who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house
man who fight with wife all day, get no piece at night
man who keep feet on ground have trouble putting on pants
if you want pretty nurse, you got to be patient
better to be pissed off than pissed on
man with hole in pocket feel cocky all day long
couple on seven day honeymoon make whole week
woman who go camping must beware of evil intent
squirrel who runs up woman's leg not find nuts
man with tool in woman's mouth not necessarily dentist
man who stand on toilet high on pot
man who sleep in bed of nails is holy
man who run through airport turnstile backward going to Bangkok
to meet girl in park is good, but to park meat in girl is better
woman who fly upside down have crack up
man who leap off cliff jump to conclusion
girl who sit on judge's lap get honorable discharge
girl who sit on jockey's lap get hot tip
waitress who sit on lepper's lap, keep tip
secretary become permanent fixture, when screwed on desk
man who put cream in tart, not always baker
man with athletic finger, make broad jump
man piss in wind, wind piss back
man who eat pussy, do lip service
woman who sink in man's arms, soon have arms in man's sink
man who drop watch in toilet have shitty time
man who finger girl having period get caught red handed
man who go to bed with itchy bum, wake up with smelly finger

Kids say the funniest things - More of the same

These ones aren't from 'KIDS' actually, more like teenagers. Some of these might be running our countries in the future. Depressing thought, really.

1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two other sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.

2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.

3. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.

4. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was room-temperature Canadian beef.

5. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.

6. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

7. He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.

8. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM.

9. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly like a bowling ball wouldn't.

10. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.

11. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.

12. Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze.

13. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.

14. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers faced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.

15. They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth.

16. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

17. He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant and she was the East River.

18. Even in his later years, Grandpappy had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long it had rusted shut.

19. Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.

20. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.

21. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.

22. He was as lame as a duck. Not a metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame--maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.

23. The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.

24. Her eyes were like two brown circles with black dots in the middle.

25. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.

26. She was as easy as the TV Guide crossword.

27. She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs.

28. It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it to the wall.

29. The red brick wall was the color of a brick red crayola.

30. It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools.

Latest Jessica Alba Photos

Actual courtroom quotes

Lawyer: "So, after the anesthesia, when you came out of it, what did you observe with respect to your scalp?"
Witness: "I didn't see my scalp the whole time I was in the hospital."
Lawyer: "It was covered?"
Witness: "Yes, bandaged."
Lawyer: "Then, later on...what did you see?"
Witness: "I had a skin graft. My whole buttocks and leg were removed and put on top of my head."

Actual courtroom quotes from Look at this

Taking the piss Mr. Hussein?


First day of his trial, Saddam refuses to confirm his identity...trial adjourned, whilst they work out how to get one of the most well known faces in the world to admit who he

He's one tricky customer he is.

In a strange way you have to admire the mad old duffers bluster don't you. He knows they'll have to play by the rules he has ignored consistently. He's just going to mess with them at every opportunity.Mad frightening dictator to comedy side show. You've gotta love it.

"Who are you? What does this court want?" he asked, adding: "Have you ever been a judge before?"

Amid some verbal sparring with the judge, the former Iraqi leader stated: "I preserve my constitutional rights as the president of Iraq. I do not recognise the body that has authorised you and I don't recognise this aggression.

and this is a classic:

"What is based on injustice is unjust ... I do not respond to this so-called court, with all due respect."

BBC: Saddam defiant at start of trial

Child Abuse

LIVERPOOL ECHO (AP) - A seven-year-old boy was at the centre of a Liverpool
courtroom drama yesterday when he challenged a court ruling over who should
have custody of him.

The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially
awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with child custody law and
regulations requiring that family unity be maintained to the highest degree

The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him more
than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her.

When the judge then suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy
cried out that they also beat him.

After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning that
domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the judge took
he unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have
custody of him.

After two recesses to check legal references and confer with child welfare
officials, the judge granted temporary custody to Everton Football Club whom
the boy firmly believes are incapable of beating anyone.

Thanks to Max at for pointing this out.

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

The Kate Moss Cocaine Video


To realize
The value of a sister or a brother

Ask someone
Who doesn't have one

To realize
The value of ten years:
Ask a newly
Divorced couple.

To realize
The value of four years:
Ask a graduate.

To realize
The value of one year:
Ask a student who
Has failed a final exam.

To realize
The value of nine months:
Ask a mother who gave birth to a stillborn.

To realize
The value of one month:
Ask a mother
who has given birth to
A premature baby.

To realize
The value of one week:
Ask an editor of a weekly newspaper.

To realize
The value of one minute:
Ask a person
Who has missed the train, bus or plane.

To realize
The value of one-second:
Ask a person
Who has survived an accident.

Time waits for no one.

Treasure every moment you have.

You will treasure it even more when
you can share it with someone special.

To realize the value of a friend or family member:



How to spot a 'desi' (Asians, in UK slang)

Your dad is some sort of engineer or doctor.
Your parents say, "Don't forget your heritage."
You know what's going to happen in every Hindi movie before it happens
You're father and grandfathers have hair on their ears
An Asian woman comes on campus and people ask: "Is that your mother? Well then, is it your sister?"
Your relatives' houses smell like incense, mothballs or both
Your parents say, "Calculus? I took calculus in 8th grade!!"
You either really, really want to go to NYU or really, really want to stay away from it
"You want a stereo! When I was your age, I didn't even have shoes!"
Your dad still pulls his socks up to his knees, you know, the ones with the blue and pink stripes at the top.
Your family owns a tennis racquet.
You buy corn oil by the gallon.
Your family owns butcher knives bigger than your head.
You arrive one or two hours late to a party and think it's normal.
Everyone in your family has pet names, which sound nowhere close to their real names.
You are standing next to the two largest suitcases at the Airport.
You talk for an hour at the front door when leaving someone's house.
When your parents meet strangers and talk for a few minutes, you discover you're talking to a distant cousin.
Your parents don't realize phone connections to foreign countries have improved in the last two decades, and still scream at the top of their lungs when making long distance calls.
There is a sale on any item, you buy 100 of them.
You have a 'Singer Brother' sewing machine at home.
Your mother has a minor disagreement with her (or your dad's) sister and doesn't talk to her for ten years.
You hide everything from your parents.
Your mother does everything for you if you are male.
You do all the housework and cooking if you are female.
Your relatives alone could populate a small city.
Everyone is a family friend.
You know no one who has studied music.
You went to a university as far away from home as possible.
You still came back home to live with your parents after you had finished.
Your best friend got married at the age of 16.
You like the meat well done.
You eat onions with everything.
You use chilli sauce instead of tomato ketchup.
You say you hate Indian films but secretly watch them with your parents.
You teach Westerners swearwords in your language.
You order Indian food in your own language to impress the people you're with but the waiters don't understand you.
You avoid public places when with a member of the opposite sex, especially if there is an acquaintance within a 250 miles radius.
You always say "open the light" instead of "turn the light on".
You secure your baggage with a rope.
You're walking out of customs with your trolley at the airport and you see all twenty-five members of your family who have come to pick you up.
You go back to your parents' country and people treat you like a member of...the royal family.
You're parents would freak out if your sister wore a crop top baring her midriff...but wearing a sari is perfectly acceptable
Your parents call all your friends "Beta" whether they are Indian or not
Your parent are panicking if you aren't married when you turn 25
Either you really like desis of the opposite sex or you can't stand them
Your mother measures wealth in gold and diamonds
A horoscope must decide your wedding date
Your parents drink 6 cups of tea a day
You are sick and tired of answering questions about "the dot"
Your friends could not explain your religion to someone if they tried
You could not explain your religion to someone if you tried
You have cousins you have never met, whose names you don't know, but who insist they're related to you, even though they bear NO resemblance to...anyone YOU know.
Your parents push the concept of an arranged marriage on you and try
and demonstrate how well it works whenever they're not fighting.
You notice that whenever you go to another Indian's house, your parents always talk about work and business.
The second you pull out of someone's driveway, your parents start talking...about them.
Every few months your parents say when they're moving back to India
No one ever seems to call ahead of time to say they are coming over for a visit.
You're proud to be a desi - and you pass these jokes on to all your desi friends!

The Iraqi Constitution - A Ticking Timebomb

Why have so many Sunnis so adamantly opposed it? The answer is easy: it would likely divide Iraq into as many as 18 small feuding states. Can anyone imagine every state in the American union having diplomatic representation in foreign missions?

Anyone who thinks that such a constitution would calm the insurgency has probably been spending more time than he should have reading about Alice in Wonderland. I believe that should the constitution pass, the next few weeks will see an escalation of the unnecessary violence that has ripped my country apart. Unnecessary, because the ordinary citizen has no political agenda, and has found himself amid a war he neither understands nor cares about - a war waged by foreigners who could not care less about Iraq or Iraqis. All he seeks is the most basic necessities of life: electricity, security, a job, food, health care, clean water and working sewers.

Voting YES to Chaos - NewYork Times

10 Truths We All Know About Each Other


1. Elvis is dead.
2. Jesus was not white.
3. Rap music is here to stay.
4. Kissing your pet is not cute or clean.
5. Skinny does not equal sexy.
6. Thomas Jefferson had black children.
7. A 5 year old child is too big for a stroller.
8. N'SYNC will never hold a candle to the Jackson 5.
9. An occasional BUTT whooping helps a child stay in line.
10. Having your children curse you out in public is not normal.


1. Hickey's are not attractive.
2. Chicken is food, not a roommate.
3. Jesus is not a name for your son.
4. Your country's flag is not a car decoration.
5. Maria is a name but not for every daughter.
6. Jump out and run is not in any insurance policies.
7. 10 people to a car is considered too many.
8. Buttoning just the top button of your shirt is a bad fashion statement.
9. Mami and Papi can't possibly be the nickname of every person in your family.
10. Letting your children run wildly through the store is not normal.


1. O.J. did it.
2. Tupac is dead.
3. Teeth should not be decorated.
4. Weddings should start on time.
5. Your pastor doesn't know everything..
6. Jesse Jackson will never be President.
7. RED is not a Kool Aid flavor, it's a color.
8. Church does not require expensive clothes.
9. Crown Royal bags are meant to be thrown away.
10. Your rims and sound system should not be worth more than your car.

Top 40 Magazine Covers in the last 40 years

Monday, October 17, 2005

Pakistan United.

For the past week and a half the mainstream media a lot of blogs have covered the South Asian earthquake in great detail. It has been the topic of discussion almost everywhere, which is why I've tried not to discuss it on my blog. Until I read this beautiful poem submitted to a Pakistani newspaper by a reader.

A DEADLY silence befell my nation
before shrieking wails pierced the air.

The earth had spoken
unleashed its fury
heaving and rocking relentlessly.

The smog from debris
blinded the eye.

An abyss appeared
my people united
spiritually charged;
Mouths parched
fasting but unwavering
in their willingness to help
those who were trapped
deliberating death.

Tough choices to make to be gulped by the ground
or smothered by the sky,

My heart bleeds
my soul aches
I choke on my meal
while people starve for a bite
I'll close my eyes/and eradicate the pain
justify my existence
I'll open my eyes
hide behind my guilt.
And exist.

Thousands have died, and while I consider myself fortunate enough not to be affected by yet another natural disaster, my heart goes out to the victims, specially as most of them are still awaiting aid in extreme weather conditions. Mothers sent their kids to schools in the morning, not knowing that it was the last time the're seeing their son, or daugther. Men ran home from their workplaces hoping that their family would be okay and their homes not as badly damaged as some other buildings, only to find a big pile of rubble, hearing faint cries from underneath, unable to do anything but hear their beloved familes embrace death - slowly and very painfully. And then there were those who probably died in their sleep, the old and sick, the newborns and toddlers - a generation lost.

I spoke to my mum who's in karachi at the moment and she told me that Pakistan has never been as united as it is now - There are aid collection centers all over the city, almost EVERY PAKISTANI has given something away from their homes to be sent to the north of the country. There's a tremendous outpouring of passion as its never been witnessed before. Doctors, ordinary citizens, and even the militants who have for years fought in Kashmir are reaching the hundreds of towns and villages carrying supplies, blankets, whatever they can - to help those in need.

Pakistanis abroad are contributing heavily too. The guy who owns the company that I work for, and its a relatively small company with around 10 staff and £10 million annual turnover, has just donated around 15,000 blankets and 4,000 tents. He's just one of the crowd, there are probably thousands more around the globe who have contributed in some way.

And then we've had the amazing support from the international community, specially Britain which was the first to send its rescue teams to Islamabad, within 24 hours of the quake.

We see people killing people on the telly everyday, but every now and then something happens that restores my faith in humanity. For every murdering twat out there, there are atleast 10 caring and responsive souls. Its a shame that it takes tragedies to bring us all together.

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