Saturday, November 26, 2005

Babe of the Day - Tina O'Brien

More Tina O'Brien Photos

PS. Okay guys I'm running out of ideas on these Babes of the Day - There've been hundreds now. Let me know if theres anyone you would like to see as BOTD?

First Xmas Joke of the year - Revisited


Borat now has an OFFICIAL SITE!! Absolute Legend!


25 things to make you feel manly

This is why us men are great. women? pwah! there only good for.....well...... everything else... probably.

25 things that make you feel like a man.

1, OPENING JARS - nnng, she's struggling. You take it from her hands, open it effortlessly and pretend she loosened it for you. She didn't. Jars are men's work.
2, CALLING SOMEONE 'SON' - Especially policemen but even saying it to kids makes you the man.
3, DOING A PROPER SLIDE TACKLE - Beckham free kicks? Gay. A Stuart Pearce tackle is the pinnacle of the game, simultaneously winning the ball and crippling the man. Magic.
4, SHARPENING A PENCIL WITH A STANLEY KNIFE - Blunt, is it? Hand it here love. No, I don't need a sharpener, you think I can't whittle?
5, GOING TO THE TIP - A manly act which combines driving, lifting and as you thrillingly drop your rubbish into another huge pile of other rubbish - noisy destruction.
6, DRINKING UP - Specifically, rising from the table, slinging your coat on and downing two thirds of a pint in one fluid movement. Then nodding towards the door, saying, "Let's go" and striding out while everyone else struggles to catch up with you. God, you're hard.
7, HAVING A THIN BIT OF WOOD - in the shed, solely to stir paint with.
8, HAVING A SCAR - Ideally it'll be a facial knife wound, but even an iron burn on the wrist is good. "Ooh, did it hurt". "Nah".
9, HAVING A HANGOVER AND THICK STUBBLE - When birds have been partying they just whinge. You, on the other hand have physical evidence of your hardness, sprouting from your face. "Big night?", "Grr, what does it look like".
10, NODDING AT COPPERS - A moments eye contact is all it takes for you to share the unspoken bond. "We've not seen eye to eye in the past", it says, "but someone's got to keep the little scrotes in line".
11, USING POWER TOOLS - slightly more powerful than you need or can safely handle. Pneumatic drilling while smoking a tab? Superb.
12, KICKING A FOOTY AGAINST A GARAGE DOOR - Clang-g-g-g-g-g-! Stitch that becks, I kick so hard I set off car alarms.
13, ARRIVING IN A PUB LATE... and everyone cheers you. It doesn't mean you're popular, it just means your mates are pissed. However, the rest of the pub doesn't know that.
14, NOT WATCHING YOUR WEIGHT - fat is a feminist issue, apparently. Brilliant. Pass the pork scratchings.
15, CARVING THE ROAST - and saying "are you a leg or breast man" to the blokes and "do you want stuffing" to the women. Congratulations, you are now your dad.
16, WINKING - turns women to putty. Doesn't it?
17, TEST-SWINGING HAMMERS - ideally, B&Q would have little changing rooms with mirrors so you could see how rugged you look with any DIY item. Until then, we'll make do with the aisles.
18, TAKING OUT £200 FROM A CASHPOINT - okay, so its for paying the plumber later but with that much cash you feel like a mafia don. The only thing better is peeling notes off the roll later.
19, PHONE CALLS THAT LAST LESS THAN A MINUTE - unlike birds, we get straight to the point. "alright? Yep. Drink? Red lion? George, it is then. Seven. See ya."
20, PARALLEL PARKING - bosh, straight in. First time. Can Schumacher do that? No, because his cars got no reverse gear which,technically, makes you the worlds best driver.
21, HAVING EARNED THAT PINT - Since the dawn of time, men have toiled in the fields in blistering heat. Why? So, when it's over we can stand there in silence, surveying our work with one hand resting on the beer gut while the other nurses a foaming jug of ale. Aaaah.
22, HAVING SOMETHING PROPERLY WRONG WITH YOU - especially if you didn't make a fuss. "Why was I off? Nothing much, just a brain haemorrhage".
23, KNOWING WHICH SCREWDRIVER IS WHICH - "a Phillips? For that? Are you mad, pet?"
24, TAKING A NEWSPAPER INTO THE LOO - a visual code that says that's right, "I'm going in there for a huge, long man-sized sh*t".
25, CALLING YOUR MATE A TW*T - and punching him on the shoulder. Just a man's way of saying "you're a good mate; I missed you while you were in hospital".

Nicked from: LOOKATTHIS

Meet the wank maestro

Click on the image to enlarge. Stolen from my newest link buddy, FlashTrack

Quiz Time: Female or Shemale

Click on the image to start. Stolen from my newest link buddy, FlashTrack

Gary Glitter meets George Best... the gates of heaven, where St. Peter says he only has room for one. 'Well that would have to be me, then' says Bestie, 'I was Euro player of the year at 17 and have shagged a couple of Miss Worlds!'

'Well' says Glitter, 'I penned Rock 'n' Roll part II, which is still played around the world today, and I too have shagged a couple of beauty queens!'

'I remember the song' says St. Peter, 'but enlighten me on the other bit - who were the girls?'

'Miss Cambodia 2012 and Miss Vietnam 2015!

Bush and Blair caught swearing at each other!

You've got to
watch this video (loads real quick)

Angelina Jolie in Pakistan

Okay, two things - She looks really rough (although still very much doable) without her make-up artist around.

Secondly, it has been
reported that she's looking to adopt another child, this time from one of the kids orphaned by the earthquake in Kashmir. Thats very thoughtful of her, although she might have a difficult time finding children in that region as the earthquake claimed a 'whole generation' when it struck, more than half the dead were children.

Friday, November 25, 2005

Topical Joke of the Day

Mummy, mummy, do they put up Christmas decorations in Vietnam?

No dear, but I think they might be hanging glitter.....

Gary Glitter could face a firing squad

God's sense of Irony

Thursday, November 24, 2005

Thank You

Thank you
for all my hands can hold...
apples red.
and melons gold,
yellow corn
both ripe and sweet,
peas and beans
so good to eat!

Thank you
for all my eyes can see...
lovely sunshine,
field and tree,
white-cloud boats
in sea-deep sky,
soaring bird
and butterfly.

Thank you
for all my ears can hear...
bird's song echoing
far and near,
songs of little
stream, big sea,
cricket, bullfrog,
duck, and bee!

Not what we say about our blessings, but how we use them, is the true measure of our thanksgiving.

The Top 9 Hollywood Thanksgiving Prayers

9> Ben Affleck: "I'm thankful I kept the receipt for that pink

8> Hugh Jackman: "I am thankful scheduling problems made it
impossible for Dougray Scott to play Wolverine."

7> Patrick Stewart: "I give thanks that the Star Trek
films are finally done so that I may focus on less fan-geek
projects, like X-Men 3."

6> Danny DeVito: "Thank you for long-legged women and

5> Calista Flockhart: "Thank you for my rich, famous,
good-looking boyfriend, and this single bite of white meat."

4> Numerous club hoppers: "And bless Paris Hilton for the
fantastic stuffing."

3> Wachowski Brothers: "We are thankful that the public's
devotion to The Matrix held out long enough to ride thru two
pretty contentless sequels."

2> Johnny Depp: "I am thankful Disney didn't give up on
theme-park-based movies after The Country Bears."

and the Number 1 Hollywood Thanksgiving Prayer...

1> Nick Nolte: "I'll have what Downey Jr.'s having."

Many a man has come to this crossroad

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

I believe......

Morning Sports fans (and anyone else who happens to be around)

Trolling through the ether that is the interweb this morning, I discovered an
interesting article on the Football365 site.

Now, it has been a while since I tried anything that could lead to anything approaching a higher state of conciousness (truth be told, I don't know the right people anymore) but maybe, just maybe........

Have a look for yourselves and see what you think. I, for one, like the cut of this guys jib.

It may seem like a load of old hippy nonsense but I believe......

Hopefully we can spank Betis tonight and make the Chelsea match irrelevant.

Old ones are the best

Went shopping with the wife on Saturday, and decided I needed to have a shit. Went to the toilets, found a cubicle and sat down. Suddenly, the guy next to me said, in a loud voice:

"Hi! How you doing?"

A bit confused, but ever polite, I replied, "Um, fine thanks.

"So, what are you up to?" he said.

"I'm, err, having a shit. You?"

Just as I was really getting worried, he says: "Sorry, mate, I'll have to call you back. Some cunt in the cubicle next door keeps talking to me."

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Babe of the Day - Kirsty Gallacher

Meet the real life Coyote Ugly chicks

I wanna know where this bar is at.

Technical Issues

Checkout this quality video conferencing clip - Someone needs to tell this chick the camera's on!

Nicked from the excellent


Get abused by the man himself, checkout Swearing Jesus - From the excellent Gunstar

Pamela Anderson's tits.

What time does to you

Here are a few examples of before and after you fall in love:

BEFORE - You take my breath away
AFTER - I feel like I'm suffocating

BEFORE - Twice a night
AFTER - Twice a month

BEFORE - She says she loves the way I take control of a situation
AFTER - She called me a controlling, manipulative egomaniac

BEFORE - Saturday Night Fever
AFTER - Monday Night Football

BEFORE - Don't stop
AFTER - Don't start

BEFORE - Is that all you're having?
AFTER - Maybe you should have just a salad, honey

BEFORE - It's like I'm living in a dream
AFTER - It's like he lives in a dorm

BEFORE - $60/doz.
AFTER - $1.50/stem

BEFORE - Turbocharged
AFTER - Jumpstart

BEFORE - We agree on everything
AFTER - Doesn't she have a mind of her own?

BEFORE - Victoria's Secret
AFTER - Fruit-of-the-Loom

BEFORE - Charming and Noble
AFTER - Chernobyl

BEFORE - Feathers and handcuffs
AFTER - Ball and chain

AFTER - Idle

BEFORE - I love a woman with curves
AFTER - I never said you were fat

BEFORE - He's completely lost without me
AFTER - Why won't he ever ask for directions?

BEFORE - Time stood still
AFTER - This relationship is going nowhere

BEFORE - Croissant and cappuccino
AFTER - Bagel and instant

BEFORE - You look so seductive in black
AFTER - Your clothes are so depressing

BEFORE - Oysters
AFTER - Fishsticks

BEFORE - I can hardly believe we found each other
AFTER - I can't believe I ended up with someone like you

BEFORE - Passion
AFTER - Ration

BEFORE - Once upon a time
AFTER - The end


To keep update of whats hot and whats not in Dubai, the latest news and views plus upcoming events and reviews, bookmark the one and only, Dubai Metblog.

Yours truly is one of the authors, by the way.

Highlights: Liverpool V Portsmouth

Download and watch the highlights of Liverpool's home win against Portsmouth, goals from Cisse, Bolo Zenden and Nando ensure a fine 3-0 victory in one of the finest performances this season. True, its only Portsmouth but you only have to look at some of our last results with them to get an idea of what they're capable of.

With REAL BETIS tomorrow, lets hope for more goals from the men in red. A defeat here would really open up the group - Liverpool should be looking to wrap up the group stage with atleast a point, if not all three.

Lord & Lady

The P0RN Debate rages on...

Following on from our IN DEFENCE OF PORN post earlier this week, here's a few interesting comments from our readers:

Comparing porn to bad mainstream cinema or TV does not actually make it (porn) okay. It’s like saying smoking may kill you but so can crossing the road - slightly juvenile logic, isn't it (have to admit that I’ve used such arguments to defend my smoking!)?

and in a utopian society, women would not be forced into the porn industry, men would understand that its all fantasy or a product of someone's imagination and not something that can be carried on in real life, obsessing over it would have as harmless an affect as obsessing over football and everything would be just lovely.

however, we know that that’s not the case. unfortunately, many men DO think that women love to be slapped around and called 'bitch, ho' etc and many marriages ARE ruined thanks to the fact that the guy can no longer get aroused by his wife's imperfect arse and prefers the photoshopped rears of porn stars.

On a personal note (based on my firsthand experience with this), i get extremely annoyed when men expect women to swallow with a big smile followed by licking of the lips as if we just had ice cream, or scream like they're being fucked by a 15 incher (when its actually not even half of that), or jump up and down with excitement over the idea of being taken by the arse or doggy style or spanked.

ALL of these ideas have been embedded in their minds because these regular guys grew up on a healthy dosage of porn.

i am not saying that we should do away with the industry and shut it down or ban it. and i agree with you, tasteful porn IS good entertainment / escapism for men, women and couples. but i disagree with most of your arguments in the post. i think we should recognize that porn DOES have harmful affects, and that it perhaps SHOULD be monitored (especially to ensure that women and children are not forced into taking part), and definitely legalize it everywhere so that the 'actors' have more rights to avail legal assistance, when required. and we definitely need sex education, especially one which drives home the point that just as bruce willis jumping off a 10 story building and landing on his feet without so much as wincing is not a possible scenario in real life, nor is a woman smiling and moaning with pleasure halfway during a gang rape, as she is being penetrated in each orifice while being spanked and called derogatory names.

the whole issue should be brought out in the open - i think that the more we continue to treat it as a secret dirty habit indulged in by perverts, the worse would its affects be.

(and that brings you to the end of my fucking essay!! sorry about going on and on and onnnnn).


John said...

"however, we know that that’s not the case."

We do? How do we know that?

We know that some men who are violent or exploitive are also porn consumers.

We also know a lot aren't.

Has anyone quantified this, or found any evidence of causality? Not that I'm aware of. There are anecdotes, which are a bad basis for an argument, because you can find anecdotes to prove anything.

s said...
actually, there are quite a few researchers who have studied this to find a correlation / evidence. my argument is based on a couple of stories of friends who went through divorces due to the fact that their husbands became obsessed with porn and on a book called 'the fantasies of feminity' which manages to remain quite neutral towards porn (in spite of its name) and cites studies and court cases which support both sides (anti and pro porn).

also, the author of the blog post has not cited any 'evidence' of the lack of harmful affects of porn so i don't see why the onus should rest on the ones who oppose it to come up with evidence or qualify their own opinion with anything other than anecdotes?

So ladies n gents, what are your views on this?
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