Saturday, December 17, 2005

You'll Never Walk Alone

As you'll probably know by now, Rafa Benitez's father passed away last Wednesday while he was with the team in Japan, preparing for the World Club Championship Semi Final. Despite that, he has
decided to stay with the Reds for the Final, and will visit his family home in Spain early next week.

Our thoughts and prayers are with you Rafa. We are from God and to God we shall return


These geezers break my heart. Shankly, Paisley, Dalglish, even fucking Houllier who almost literally died for the club ( glosses over the unfortunate Souey period ) why do WE get managers who sacrifice everything for the club?

Misleading Website Names

People should make time to think of suitable & appropriate domain names for
their business. These are all real.

Firstly there is "Who Represents" a database for agencies to the rich and

Second is the "Experts Exchange", a knowledge base where programmers can
exchange advice and views (this has now been changed with a hyphen):

Looking for a pen? Look no further than "Pen Island":

Need a therapist? Try "Therapist Finder"

The "Mole Station Native Nursery", based in NewSouth Wales :

And last but not least, the "Gas Heating" company

Bollywood Babe of the Day - Nauheed Cyrusi

After multiple requests from some of our regulars, here's's FIRST Bollywood Babe of the Day! I've only found one rather small photo gallery for Nauheed Cyrusi, do let me know if there are any others.

Oh and I wanna know what you think of her, and other bollywood ladies - let me know if there's any you'd like to see here.

Joke of the Day

An old Indian chief sat in his hut on the reservation, smoking a ceremonial pipe, and eyeing two U.S. government officials sent to interview him.

"Chief Two Eagles," asked one official, "you have observed the white man for 90 years. You've seen his wars and his material wealth. You've seen his progress, and the damage he's done."

The chief nodded in agreement.

The official continued, "Considering all these events, in your opinion, where did the white man go wrong?"

The chief stared at the government officials for over a minute and then calmly replied, "When white man found the land, Indians were running it. No taxes, no debt, plenty buffalo, plenty beaver, women did all the work, medicine man free, Indian man spent all day hunting and fishing, and all night having sex." Then the chief leaned back and smiled, "White man dumb enough to think he could improve system like that."

Dogs that probably hate their owners

Here are a few more dogs that probably hate their owners.
From me mate's blog,
A Beautiful Mind
Also checkout his 'R' rated blog,
An Exotic Mind

Girls Kissing Girls

Nice little gallery of drunk chicks makin' out.

Bush Likes Bald

Stolen from 4 All Fun

Did Liverpool just dump Chelski out of the CL again?!!?!?!

The draws for the 'super sixteen' have been confirmed, and Chelsea will be facing Barca, who are desperate for revenge. Considering Barca is probably the best team in Europe at the moment, both on paper and on the field, Chelsea should be shitting themselves.

Liverpool, on the other hand, will be quite happy with their draw as they face Benifica who
sent Man Utd packing in the group stage. Before the draw I was hoping we'd get Benifica, Villareal or even Rangers so I've gotta say I'm very confident about us making it into the QFs.

In other news,
David Beckham is happy he'll be facing a Premiership side (Arsenal) for the first time since joining Real.

CL Knockout Phase Draw

CHELSEA v Barcelona
Real Madrid v ARSENAL
Werder Bremen v Juventus
Bayern Munich v AC Milan
PSV Eindhoven v Lyon
Ajax v Inter Milan
RANGERS v Villarreal

America's favourite fused family wishes you a Merry Xmas

America's favorite fused family wishes you a Merry Christmas from the future. Even thirteen years from now Brad and Angelina will be on the front lines of the War On The War On Christmas, dragging those ungrateful brats to Sears for the annual photo and showing the world nothing honors the birth of Jesus Christ better than tacky sweaters and mistletoe hanging on your belt buckle... Continue reading

Thursday, December 15, 2005

Ebay Funny

Now it's kind of funny to imagine a 1998 Purple Kia Sportage peeling out. I walk over to my couch to straighten the cushions and there are sweat stains from this guy's hairy ass all over them. I felt sick. So I go upstairs and she immeadiately goes "I can explain everything..." and I cut her off and was like..." deserve to be with Purple Kia Man named Barry who still works as a waiter at a stupid Chain restaurant in his late 20's." I told her pack up her crap and get out and that she had 3 hours. SO I leave, go to her parents house and have Turkey Day with them. I told the parents that their lovely little Kia Fetish daughter was ill. They had no clue.

Check this out, you must!

The Jamie C Interview

As Liverpool celebrate reaching the Club World Championship final, Jamie Carragher hands out his awards for the best and worst achievements amongst his team-mates so far this season. Didi Hamann may want to look away now.


"Besides me, you mean? Only joking! There's probably a few who stick out and I'd include Stevie, Sami and Momo in that list. Momo has done well since he's come in, Stevie has scored a lot of goals and Sami has been superb since the start of the season. I also think the goalkeeper Pepe Reina has been great too. We have kept it tight at the back and they deserve a lot of credit.

"I think you would have to class Sissoko as a young lad as he's only 20. Sometimes when you buy players, as a team mate you don't realise how young they are. He is probably two or three years younger than Stephen Warnock and you still consider Steve as a young player so I would have to say Sissoko."


"I don't like to answer that one because it makes out that they weren't too good last year!"


I've probably got two - Steven Gerrard and Didi Hamann. Me and Stevie have been here a long time me and as local lads, we have got a lot of things in common. I have a great bond with Didi as well though. He's been here a long time and we have a good laugh with Didi. Everyone knows what he's like, he's a great character and we bounce off each other. In fact, he's practically a Scouser now so I probably should have said that, the three local lads!"


"The worst is Didi without a doubt!"


"I'd probably say the best is Steven Gerrard, alongside me of course."


The worst is Cisse, definitely. Some of the stuff he puts on I've never heard anything like it in my life!


"The best would have to be myself because you always like your own music, don't you? I like Oasis and that sort of thing."


"Didi Hamann, he's the character in the team."


"That's a hard one because we're a team of lightweights! I think Igor Biscan would have taken some stopping last year but Reina's a big lad, so I'll go for him."


Zak Whitbread. I know he's gone to Millwall on loan but he loves himself and he's always in the mirror putting gel on his hair. I've told him you can't be a centre-half and put gel on your hair in the mirror. He's got to toughen up and stop that nonsense!"


"Me. Who would be a close second in a quiz? I don't know as they are all foreigners and probably wouldn't know that much. It would be Steven Gerrard, I'd think."


"Well, Sheree Murphy says Harry Kewell doesn't watch football so maybe it's him!"


"Me! I work hard but watching Steven Gerrard in training is something else. His ability and some of the things he does takes your breath away at times. I would have to say Steven."


"Didi! He's a joke. He shouldn't be at the club, should he?"


"I roomed with Michael Owen for a long time but the manager changes it around now with different players sharing for different games. The idea is we get to know each other a lot better by spending time together and the boss likes players who play alongside each other to spend time talking about the team and how we're performing. Sami's a good person to room with – I've certainly roomed with far worse people!"


"It would have to be Stevie. He is probably the most technical and best player we've got so everyone wants him on their side."




"Harry Kewell's takes some beating at the moment, doesn't it? Has he had much stick for it in the dressing room? Just a little bit!"


"Florent Sinama-Pongolle. He does a bit at the Christmas party, especially when all the girls are there watching. All the girls love him but when he starts with his moves, you have to leave the dancefloor!"


"Well, I haven't seen Crouchie dance yet but I can't see him being very good. For the size of him, he can't have any moves, can he?"

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Babe of the Day - Maria Sharapova

The Best University in Canada!

Canadian universities have no business, it seems, in the bedrooms of the campus dorm.

Yet thanks to the Internet, everyone else can take a peek.

The University of Western Ontario is investigating an incident in which a female first-year student performed a full striptease and lap dance last week for several males in a residence bedroom, with graphic photos soon sent out over the Internet.

The incident raises questions about how far a university can go in protecting students, particularly younger ones from themselves.

But because the young woman apparently performed willingly in the privacy of a residence room and no one filed a complaint, the school says it likely has no cause for discipline.

Ladies and Gents, I present to you, the pics: (NWS)

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This one will get in your head.

Hello to all and sundry, hope all is well for you.

The season has taken a turn and we are looking pretty damn good. There is absolutely no reason why we shouldn't have a new shiny piece of silver for the cabinet by Sunday - fingers crossed.

Once again, on one of my whistle stop tours of cyberspace came across this catchy little tune that made me laugh, so enjoy. I'm off to try and kill some time (and probably brain cells) in the intervening spaces till the footie.

Anyway, till then here's a little joke for you (Thanks Dan):

Two Scousers are riding along the M62 from Manchester to Liverpool on a motorbike. They break down and start hitching a lift.

A friendly trucker stops to see if he can help and the scousers ask him for a lift. He tells them that he has no room in the wagon as he is carrying 20,000 bowling balls but will take a look at the bike for them. He tries everything he knows but is unable to repair it. Time is getting on now and he's late for his delivery so he tells the scousers he has to leave.

The scousers put it to the driver that if they can manage to fit in the back with the 20,000 bowling balls, will he take them, so he agrees. They manage to squeeze themselves and their motorbike into the back of the wagon so the driver shuts the doors and gets off on his way. By this time he is really late and so puts his foot down.

Sure enough PC Plod of Greater Manchester Police pulls him up for speeding.

The good officer asks the driver what he is carrying to which he replies with sarcasm " Scouse eggs". The policeman obviously doesn't believe this so wants to take a look.He opens the back door and quickly shuts it and locks it.
He rushes back to his cruiser and gets onto his radio and calls for immediate backup from as many officers as possible. The dispatcher asks what emergency he has that he requires so many officers.

"I've got a wagon with 20,000 Scouse eggs in it - 2 have already hatched and the f *ckers have managed to nick a motorbike already."

Forum Thread of the Day

Predict the back of tomorrows 'Sun' if Man Utd dont beat Wigan tonight...

Forum Thread of the Day

Joke of the day - Lost in Translation

An English man went next door to welcome his new Indian neighbour. He was shocked to see the man from India in his nice backyard chasing ten chickens around like mad.

"Must be an Indian custom," he thought to himself. Deciding he could put off the welcome till a later date, he went home.

The next day, he decided he was going to welcome the Indian man again. When he looked through his window, he saw the Indian man urinate into a cup and drink it.

"Must be an Indian custom," he thought to himself.

Deciding he could put off the welcome till tomorrow, he went on with other stuff.

The third day, he was determined he had to welcome the Indian man. At his gate, he saw the Indian man with his ear pressed against a cow's big fat butt. He became real angry and went up to the Indian man.

"I'm sorry sir, I want to wish you a welcome,but I cannot stand your crazy Indian customs!,'' he yelled in the Indian man's face. The Indian man looked confused and answered.

"Sorry sir, I think you are mistaken. These are actually English customs. I was told, to be English, you have to chase chicks, get piss drunk, and listen to bullshit."

Watch the trailer

A new full-length Da Vinci Code trailer has been released and it looks good. [via]

The Art of Retouching

Some of you might have seen
this before. Classic set of 'before' and 'after' celebrity photographs.

The Truth about the Fire in Hemel Hempstead

Police have today admitted that George Best was not in fact buried in Belfast last week and that in retrospect the decision to cremate him in Hemel Hempstead on Sunday morning might have been a mistake.

More on the blasts

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Reds ready to conquer the world!

GOING FOR GOLD ... Peter Crouch and Jamie Carragher DIOR BLIMEY ... Djibril Cisse sports some cool shades

Liverpool have held their first training session in Japan for the World Club Championship and have found out who their first opponents will be. The Reds trained in Kawasaki, just south of Tokyo and held a press conference outlining their desire to win the Cup.

HI ... Gerrard arrives in Tokyo

After a 15 hour flight captain Steven Gerrard and defender Sami Hyypia admitted they were tired but by the time of their first game on Thursday they will be ready to go.

Their opponents on Thursday will be Costa Rican side Deportivo Saprissa, who saw off Australian side FC Sydney on Monday. Christian Bolanos scored the only goal of the game in the Tokyo Stadium.

Chief executive Rick Parry told the press "It's been a long wait but it is a privilege to be here. We are conscious of the fact that we have a huge fan base in Asia and we always feel the warmth of their welcome as we saw when we went to the Far East in 2001 and 2003. We are reinforcing links with our supporters but this is not a marketing trip to generate commercial revenues. It's about trying to win trophies and that's why we are here - to win another trophy."

Sunday, December 11, 2005

Babe of the Day - Jessica Simpson

Its a Beautiful Day

Perfect Day for Her

8:15 Wake up to hugs and kisses
8:30 Weigh-in 2 kgs lighter than yesterday
8:45 Breakfast in bed—freshly squeezed orange juice and croissants; open presents- expensive jewellery chosen by thoughtful partner
9:15 Soothing hot bath with frangipani bath oil
10:00 Light work-out at club with sexy, funny personal trainer
10:30 Facial, manicure, makeup application, shampoo, condition, blow wave
12:00 Lunch with best friend at fashionable outdoor café
12:45 Catch sight of partner’s ex and notice that she has gained 17 kgs
1:00 Shopping with friends: unlimited credit
3:00 Nap
4:00 Three dozen roses delivered by florist; card is from secret admirer
4:15 Massage from strong but gentle hunk—says he rarely gets to work on such a perfect body
5:30 Choose outfit from expensive designer wardrobe
7:30 Candlelit dinner for two followed by dancing, with compliments received from other diners/ dancers
10:00 Hot shower- alone
10:50 Carried to bed… freshly ironed, crisp, white linen
11:00 Pillow talk, light touching and cuddling
11:15 Fall asleep in his big, strong arms

Perfect Day for Him

6:00 Alarm
6:15 Blow job
6:30 Massive, satisfying shit while reading the sports section
7:00 Breakfast—steak and eggs, coffee and toast—all cooked by naked, buxom wench who bends over a lot
7:30 Limo arrives
7:45 Several beers en route to the airport
9:15 Flight in personal Lear jet
9:30 Limo to Mirage Resort Golf Club (blow job en-route)
9:45 Play front nine (2 under par)
11:45 Lunch—steak and lobster, 3 beers and bottle of Dom Perignon
12:15 Blow job
12:30 Play back nine (4 under)
2:15 Limo back to airport (several bourbons)
2:30 Fly to Bahamas
3:30 Late afternoon fishing expedition with all-female crew, all nude who also bend over a lot
4:30 Land world record Marlin (1234lbs)—on light tackle
5:00 Fly home, massage and hand job by naked Elle MacPherson (bending over, naturally)
6:45 Shit, shower and shave
7:00 Watch news — Michael Jackson assassinated
7:30 Dinner—lobster appetisers, Dom Perignon (1953), big juicy fillet steak followed by ice cream served on a big pair of tits
9:00 Napoleon Brandy and Habanos cigars in front of wall-sized TV as you watch football game
9:30 Sex with three women, all with lesbian tendencies
11:00 Massage and Jacuzzi with tasty pizza snacks and a cleansing beer
11:30 Night-cap blow job
11:45 In bed alone
11:50 A 22-second fart which changes note 4 times and forces the dog to leave the room
11:51 Laugh yourself to sleep

Joke of the Day

A school teacher in Liverpool asked her students to use the word "fascinate" in a sentence.

Pauline said, "My family went to my granddaddy's farm in Derbyshire, and we saw all his pet sheep. It was fascinating."

The teacher said, "That was good, but I wanted you to use the word 'fascinate'."

Kathy raised her hand. She said, "My family went to see Conway Castle and I was fascinated."

The teacher said, "Well, that was good, Kathy, but I want the word 'fascinate'."

Little Scouse Johnny raised his hand. The teacher hesitated because Little Scouse Johnny was noted for his bad language. She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word "fascinate", so she called on him.

Johnny said, "My cousin's wife has a sweater with ten buttons, but her tits are so big, she can only fasten eight."

The teacher cried...

The Beer Prayer

Our lager,
Which art in barrels,
Hallowed be thy drink,
Thy will be drunk,
(I will be drunk),
At home as I am in the tavern.
Give us this day our foamy head,
And forgive us our spillages,
As we forgive those who spill against us,
and lead us not to incarceration,
But deliver us from hangovers,
For thine is the beer,
The bitter and the lager,
Forever and ever,

Latte Art

I'm not a big coffee fan - but here's some people who are taking things far too seroiusly.
Coffee Art

MORE: Cybersex gone wrong

bloodninja: Wanna cyber?
DirtyKate: OK, but don't tell anybody ;-)
DirtyKate: Who are you?
bloodninja: I've got blond hair, blue eyes, I work out a lot
bloodninja: And I have a part time job delivering for Papa John's in my Geo Storm.

DirtyKate: You sound sexy.. I bet you want me in the back of your car..
bloodninja: Maybe some other time. You should call up Papa John's and make an order
DirtyKate: Haha! OK
DirtyKate: Hello! I'd like an extra-EXTRA large pizza just dripping with sauce.
bloodninja: Well, first they would say, "Hello, this is Papa John's, how may I help you", then they tell you the specials, and then you would make your order. So that's an X-Large. What toppings do you want?
DirtyKate: I want everything, baby!
bloodninja: Is this a delivery?
DirtyKate: Umm...Yes
DirtyKate: So you're bringing the pizza to my house now? Cause I'm home alone... and I think I'll take a shower...
bloodninja: Good. It will take about fifteen minutes to cook, and then I'll drive to your house.


DirtyKate: I'm almost finished with my shower... Hurry up!
bloodninja: You can't hurry good pizza.
bloodninja: I'm on my way now though


DirtyKate: So you're at my front door now.
bloodninja: How did you know?
bloodninja: I knock but you can't hear me cause you're in the shower. So I let myself in, and walk inside. I put the pizza down on your coffee table.
bloodninja: Are you ready to get nasty, baby? I'm as hot as a pizza oven

DirtyKate: Oooohh yeah. I step out of the shower and I'm all wet and cold. Warm me up baby
bloodninja: So you're still in the bathroom?
DirtyKate: Yeah, I'm wrapping a towel around myself.
bloodninja: I can no longer resist the pizza. I open the box and unzip my pants with my other hand. As I penetrate the gooey cheese, I moan in ecstacy. The mushrooms and Italian sausage are rough, but the sauce is deliciously soothing. I blow my load in seconds. As you leave the bathroom, I exit through the front door....
DirtyKate: What the f**k?
DirtyKate: You perverted piece of s**t
DirtyKate: F**k


Heartfordshire blasts heard upto 100 miles away!

A huge fire is burning at an oil distribution depot in Hertfordshire after a series of explosions which could be heard more than 100 miles away. Police say four people are being treated for serious injuries and 32 for minor injuries.

In pictures: Fuel depot blast
Eyewitness: Your accounts
LIVE TV Coverage

The BBC is being really gay about it and if you want up to the minute news on this, go to
Sky News instead.

Here's a video someone made with their mobile phone

The Sultan's Flying Palace

Apparently the Sultan of Brunei bought a brand new Airbus 340 for 100 million dollars and then sent it to Waco, Tx for remodeling. The good folks of Raytheon gutted the interior and put in gold sinks and some cheesy looking sofas costing the Sultan another 120 million dollars. And he lived happily ever after.

Enjoy the pics....

Twisted Toys

This toy bear looks innocent enough but wait until you see what he does. [via]
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