Joke of the Day

Jane was sitting in anatomy class on day when her teacher asked her a question. He inquired, “What grows to 10 times its original size when excited?” Jane blushed and said that she didn't know. Jimmy raised his hand and said, “I know! The pupil of the eye.” The teacher replied, “Yes, very good Jimmy.” The the teacher turned to Jane and said, “Jane I have three things to say to you: One -- you have a very dirty mind. Two -- you haven't been studying hard enough. And three -- you're going to be very disappointed!”

Must stay awake, must stay awake, must stay...

Of course there is caffeine, in all its guises, from Frappuccinos to Vivarin, but sometimes caffeine simply isn't enough, or it is too much. If you can't create on coffee nerves, take heart. Try some of these alternative methods to get you through the night. And, next time, kids, promise us you'll start that project sooner!!!

1. Keep the room very cold. Use old wooly gloves with the fingers cut out so you can grip the pen or tap the keyboard.

2. Eat a Slim Jim or other sufficiently pungent foodstuff. Your breath will keep your head from dropping to your chest.

3. AVOID...your bed, hot showers/baths, the horizontal position and "easy listening" music.

4. Wash your face and brush your teeth once an hour.

5. Change your clothes, right down to your underwear. No jammies!!

6. Go for a brisk run in the cool night air, or take walks every couple hours. Not only will it jolt your sleepy nerves, it's good for your heart, too.

How do YOU get through an all-nighter? Tell us by leaving your comments in... well.. comments.

Gross, but probably true

MORE

What the world would look like...

...if Japanese cartoons were actually realistic
[VIA]

Racist Quote of the Day

WASHINGTON (CNN) -- Congressional Democrats blasted former Education Secretary William Bennett on Thursday for saying that aborting "every black baby in this country" would reduce the crime rate, and demanded their Republican counterparts do the same.

NOTE: It has been pointed our to us that Mr. Bennett's quotes may have been taken out of context - please click 'comments' to join the discussion.

Is this...

the best invention ever?

If you love The Hoff

You'll love this

BREAKING NEWS

Head over to the BBC NOW!

Another Carragher quote of the day!

"There is no side more direct than Chelsea. We watched videos of Chelsea before the game and when we saw their match against Bayern Munich from last season's Champions League I couldn't remember seeing so many long balls in a match since I started watching football in the 80s."

Lol - Carra you're a legend mate.

Babe of the Day - Hillary Duff

Is she even legal?! Would you?!

The Hilary Duff Photo Gallery

Joke of the Day

Mourinho goes to the doctor

'Doctor,' he says, 'Every time I look in the mirror I get aroused.'

'Ah,' the Doctor says, 'thats cuz your a cunt.'

Terms for female masturbation

STOLEN FROM THE GOOSE

5 Digit Disco
Buzzing the honey hole
Backslappin' Betty
Bailing out the Gravy Boat
Beaver bashin'
Bouncing the bearded clam
Buffing the box
Buffing the jewel
Buttering up the whisker biscuit
Clam twiddlin' jamboree
Critter crammin'
Damming the beaver
Dialing "O" on the little pink telephone
Diddling miss daisy
Diggin' for clams
Digitis Erectus
Fingering the fountain
Flicking the minnow
Friday night lip service
Frosting the muffin of love
Giving yourself the finger
Going for the gooey duct
Impeaching Bush
Juicing the clam
Let your fingers do the walking
Lip smacking
Menage a'moi
Petting the kitty
Piddly Diddler
Playing the squeezebox
Pokin' the pie
Polishing the little pink pearl
Pumping the kooter
Punchin' the chipmunk
Reading in Braille
Riding the clitoris-sauras
Romancing thy own
Roughing up the suspect
Self-guided tuna boat tour
Smacking Jerry Garcia on the nose
Spanking Lucy
Stroking the newt
Ticklin' the taco
Tissue tickling
Twirling the pearl
Unbuttoning the fur coat
Warming the wrist rocket

Post your Chinese (or any other) proverbs here!

Slitty Eyed Ronaldo - incredibly racist I'd have thought!

Confuse-us says:
- Man who go sleep with itchy bum wake up with smelly finger
- A standing nail will always be knocked down
- Man who do no work on Monday will get P45 by Tuesday.
- An unwashed cock always leads to a cheesy smell.
- It is good for girl to meet boy in park. It is better for boy to park meat in girl.
- Man who walk through airport turnstyles sideways is going to Bangkok.
- A man who takes a dump behind a bush, should not wish himself to be seen, but when he is seen he should be calm.
- Man who stand on toilet high on pot.
- Marriage is not a word, it is a sentence.
- Body off baywatch, face off crimewatch
- Man with hole in pocket always feel bit cocky.
- Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.

OMFG This is piss funny - Christiano Ronaldo and Giraffes!

First, check this photo of Christiano Ronaldo out - Next, read through this forum thread, on why birds should not be allowed to watch football.

Old age - coming soon to get ya!

GAMES FOR WHEN WE ARE OLDER:
1. Sag, you're It.
2. Hide and go pee.
3. 20 questions shouted into your good ear.
4. Kick the bucket
5. Red Rover, Red Rover, the nurse says Bend Over.
6. Musical recliners.
7. Simon says something incoherent.
8. Pin the Toupee on the bald guy.

SIGNS OF MENOPAUSE:
1. You sell your home heating system at a yard sale.
2. You have to write post-it notes with your kids' names on them.
3. You change your underwear after a sneeze.

OLD IS WHEN:
1. Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.
2. You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you
don't have to go along.
3. Getting a little action means I don't need fiber today.
4. Getting lucky means you find your car in the parking lot.
5. An all-nighter means not getting up to pee!

iHoff

From the Hasslehoff Image Database

STOLEN FROM LOOK AT THIS

Quote of the Day

"They were crying about various things before the game but hopefully we have a bit more dignity about us at this club. Whenever we play Chelsea we always seem to get penalties that aren't given but we won't cry too much about what happened." - Jamie C - after last night's game.

Its Official: Jose is Rafa's Bitch

this.is.anfield match report:

Dirty Dan: The only thing between the two sides last night at Anfield, was two penalties not given in our favour. The first was when Drogba hauled down Sami Hyppia, a clear foul, but the ref missed it. Later on, Gallas blocked Jamie Carragher's goalbound header with his hand and again the referee seemed to completely miss it.

Italian Referees don't usually work out in English-only affairs and this was another such occasion. With tackles flying in all aroud the pitch, he got some right, missed others and ended up pissing off both benches.

Other than that I was pretty satisfied with our display. Benitez went for a 4-4-2 with an attacking mindset and even though the first half was sorta level, we ruled for the last half an hour, pushing forward and keeping majority of the posession. His game plan was spot on.

I can see why Rafa paid 7m for Crouch. Although far from a perfect night out, he did win pretty much everything in the air. Its a shame Cisse couldn't do much partnering him up front. Infact, Cisse was diabolical last night, gave the ball away too much, ran into defenders and kept falling down. His challenges looked half hearted as if that leg-breaking injury was still playin on his mind or sth.

Chelsea have probably the best defence in Europe and statistics over the last season and so far this season, prove it. It would always be difficult to score against them but it felt good going to bed thinking that the only reason we didn't win this one was the ref. Chelsea, on the other hand, would be wondering how to break Rafa's side down.

Jose is now Rafa's bitch, totally sussed out.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Benny C: Before the game I would have taken a draw but we really could have won it.

After all the bitching about the last time we met (Not having Robben, not a goal etc) I think Chelsea will be the happier with a draw. Both Duff and Robben were largely absent from the game and apart from kicking our lads (in particular Gerrard) their midfield had trouble getting to grips with the game.

Their defence though, is second to none but even the mighty Terry seemed to have trouble with Crouch (whose ball control was sublime - perhaps not such a bad signing as I initially feared? - hope he doesn't become the next Heskey!!)

Unfortunately, despite creating openings we rarely looked like scoring. Chelsea though, I felt, never really looked like scoring at all and my anxiety of the day seemed un-warranted. (Still no excuse not to have a drink or two to steady the nerves)

We have shown to be the constant thorns in Chelsea's side and but for the ref we should have won it.

Chelsea will be happier with the draw despite what Mourinho says....roll on Sunday......

(What the hell was the Portuguese tool going on about after the game?? Answers on a postcard please. The winner will get a free English/Portuguese dictionary and a bunch of sour grapes...)

Benitez unhappy at penalty denial
Rafael Benitez insists Liverpool should have had a penalty in their Champions League draw with Chelsea.

Mourinho happy with Anfield draw
Chelsea boss Jose Mourinho claims both sides will be happy with the Champions League draw at Liverpool.

BBC: Match Report



Guardian: Reds denied as referee spares Chelsea

Even if Liverpool had to share the points they held fast to their reputation as the one English team who can regularly unnerve Chelsea. Jose Mourinho's side did duck a repeat of the defeat at Anfield that nailed them in their European Cup semi-final last season, but their general anxiety was far greater here last night. Though they guarded the goalkeeper Petr Cech well, it took the Italian referee Massimo de Santis to spare Chelsea a penalty.

The home crowd could be satisfied by the maturity with which their team avoided being picked off on the break and by the manner in which they dominated the second half. "Boring, boring Chelsea," sang those fans at the end, gleefully contradicting Mourinho's pre-match assertion that it is Liverpool who "do not play with an open heart". MORE



Times: Mourinho forced to play second fiddle again

SOMETHING about Chelsea is anathema to your typical Liverpudlian, whether it is nouveau-riche arrogance, the Cockney swagger of Frank Lampard or simply, as the Kop have been known to sneer, that they have “no history”.

After their fifth meeting in nine months and the first of two this week alone, though, accusations about a lack of dignity might be secondary to the first doubts to have emerged about Chelsea’s supposed invincibility as Liverpool claimed what the rest of the Barclays Premiership will desperately cling to as a moral victory.

José Mourinho might claim that there is no such thing in football and prefer to point out that his team drew at the home of the European champions — if indeed he is prepared to acknowledge Liverpool’s status as such — but Chelsea were made to look ordinary last night for the first time since their nervous opening-day victory over Wigan Athletic in the Premiership. MORE

I'd settle for scenes like these tonight.

iQaeda

Rafa: José is my bitch

this.is.anfield match preview by Benny C

Well, here we are.

The day of another big night at Anfield....

I must admit I am more than a little nervous. (If by nervous I mean feeling quite sick now, then that is it)

Chelsea are not going to be easy. Not in the slightest, but we have shown that we are more than capable of giving them a run for their money. On the plus side we were the last team to beat them. (Hopefully the start of a bogey team thing? One can only hope....) That has to be at the forefront of their minds as it is on ours. A shock could well be on the cards.

I will just leave with a list of teams we were not supposed to beat in the European cup:

St. Etienne
Juventus
Real Madrid
AC Milan
oh and Chelsea........
----------------------------------------------------------------

Rafael Benitez looked ahead to tonight's Champions League showdown with Chelsea at Anfield and declared: "They know we can beat them."

Chelsea may have won all eight of their matches in the Premiership and Champions League this season, but the Liverpool manager believes the Londoners will step out at Anfield tonight still remembering their defeat in the semi-final last season.

And that fact, he believes, will give his players a huge psychological boost before the game kicks off. CONTINUE...



The most extreme reaction was from John Arne Riise, who, in a moment of utter abandon, threw himself into the Kop, and seconds later, threw his kit, John Aldridge-style, to the delirious fans. Thankfully Riise kept his modesty tucked within his grey jockstrap.

"I didn't know what I was doing, I just kept giving the fans everything I had on," he later said. "I had said to the players before the game that if we won I'd strip off and give all my clothes to the fans. It was the greatest night ever. I was crying one minute and laughing the next - and I wasn't the only one."

Paul Tomkins on Last Season's Glorious Win agsint Chelsea







Jose: The world is against us
Jose: Liverpool did not score against us in THAT semi-final
Guardian: Chelsea line-up stronger for European rematch

Benítez plotting to expose Chelsea as mere mortals

BEFORE every match, Rafael Benítez takes out a chalkboard and points out to his players the chinks to be targeted in the opposition’s armour. Sometimes, he admits, this is not easy, but, as he prepares to plot the downfall of a Chelsea team who have reasserted their aura of invincibility by winning every game bar one they have played since losing at Anfield in the Champions League semi-final, second leg in May, the Liverpool manager maintains that their Achilles’ heel — whatever it might be — is there to be exposed.

José Mourinho might dispute the validity of Luis García’s winning goal that evening, saying last night that he will continue to do so until his “dying day”, but, whatever he may call it — “the phantom goal”, “the goal that never was” — few neutrals would deny that Liverpool were worthy winners over the two legs.

Other factors contributed to the result, not least late-season fatigue in the Chelsea camp and the astonishing fervour of the Anfield crowd, but Benítez feels that his team’s triumph was founded on a thorough tactical game plan that he will seek to replicate this evening.

“We know that it will be a difficult game, but we can beat them,” Benítez said in a press conference at Anfield yesterday afternoon. “We did it last season and we know how to do it again. They have the same strong points as last time and maybe the same weak points as well. I am sure that they have weak points and we will try to find those weak points.” What they are, Benítez would not say, but with his squad seemingly lacking the width needed to stretch a Chelsea defence that has conceded only one goal in seven Barclays Premiership matches this season, it seems likely that he will look to Peter Crouch, his towering centre forward, to unsettle John Terry and Ricardo Carvalho.

The pace of Djibril Cissé is another intriguing option for Benítez, given the problems that Milan Baros, who has since left for Aston Villa, caused in last season’s semifinal, although it is far from certain that the France forward will be recalled to the starting line-up.

If anything, Benítez is more likely to err on the side of caution, to judge from his suggestion yesterday that the stakes are far lower in a group game than they were in last season’s semi-final. Sami Hyypia struck on something when he said that victory over Chelsea might be more crucial when the teams return to Anfield for a Premiership fixture on Sunday.

“For me, maybe Sunday’s game will be more important to win than this,” the defender said. “Also, for the Premiership in general, it would be good if we can beat them on Sunday.”

Beating Chelsea remains easier said than done, but Hyypia hit the mark again when he said that talking up the opposition was selfdefeating. “Chelsea are not from another planet,” he said. “They’re a very good team with a very good manager, they have a lot of quality up front, they don’t concede a lot of goals and it’s not easy to beat them. But no one expected us to beat them last May. They’re just a team with 11 players and we have beaten them before.”

Encouraging words, carrying a much-needed reminder that it is Liverpool and not Chelsea who are the champions of Europe. Mourinho and Roman Abramovich do not always get what they want, a fact that will be borne out when Steven Gerrard leads out his home-town team this evening, having come so close to succumbing to the London club’s overtures during the summer.

Hyypia admitted yesterday that he had feared Gerrard was on his way out of Anfield, but contrary to some of the eulogies penned at the time, it took more than Gerrard to inspire Liverpool to the European Cup and tonight it will require superhuman endeavours from 11 players, 40,000 passionate Scousers and a portly Spaniard with a chalkboard if Chelsea are to be exposed as mere mortals once more.

HOW THEY LINE UP

LIVERPOOL (possible; 4-4-1-1): J M Reina — S Finnan, J Carragher, S Hyypia, D Traoré — L García, D Hamann, X Alonso, J A Riise — S Gerrard — P Crouch.

CHELSEA (possible; 4-3-3): P Cech — P Ferreira, J Terry, R Carvalho, W Gallas — M Essien, C Makelele, F Lampard — A Robben, H Crespo, D Duff.

Referee: M De Santis (Italy).

TELEVISION: Live on Sky Sports 2 from 6pm (kick-off 7.45pm).

Joke of the Day

An 18 year-old girl tells her Mum that she has missed her period for two months.

Very worried, the mother goes to the Chemist and buys a pregnancy kit.

The test result shows that the girl is pregnant.

Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says, "Who was the pig that did this to you? I want to know!"

The girl picks up the phone and makes a call.

Half an hour later a Ferrari stops in front of their house; a mature and distinguished man with grey hair and impeccably dressed in an Armani suit steps out of the Ferrari and enters the house.

He sits in the living room with the father and the mother, and the girl and tells them:

"Good morning, your daughter has informed me of the problem.

I can't marry her because of my personal family situation but I'll take charge. I will pay all costs and provide for your daughter for the rest of her life. Additionally, if a girl is born I will bequeath her 2 retail stores, a townhouse, a beachfront villa and a £2,000,000 bank account. If a boy is born, my legacy will be a couple of factories and a £4,000,000 bank account. If twins, they will receive a factory and £2,000,000 each.

However, if there is a miscarriage, what do you suggest I do?"

At this point, the girl's father, who had remained silent, places a hand firmly on the man's shoulder and tells him, "shag her again."!!

Proof that Mourinho is full of shite.

"You must understand what football is. They scored and we didn't so they go through"
- Jose Mourinho, May 3.

"They beat us, but they didn't score. I will say that for all my life"
- Jose Mourinho, September 27.

Top 10 reasons why I love working for Microsoft

Microsoft being slated everywhere from TV to blogs to newspapers is really getting on this employee's tits. He aint a happy chappy. Meanwhile, is anyone else a bit worried with this^^ photo of Bill Gates and Paul Allen?

Blast from the Past - BEST OF BORAT

"I want to do a romance inside of you."

"In Kazhakstan we have many hobbies: disco dancing, archery, rape and table tennis..."

"If you come back with me to my country,(....) I will give you television and remote control..."

"Englishman must have a hobby. Some like to collect the stamp or make jam. But the most fun is to kill a a little animal with a shotgun or rip him up with a wild dog."

"There is land of opportunities in US of A. For man, construction work, taxi driving and accountancy. For woman, as a prostitute."

"We say in Kazakhstan, "Woman who goes with book is like horse without...Saddle.""

"We say in Kazakhstan, "You find me woman with brain, I find you a horse with...Wings.""

"In America, women can vote but horse cannot! It is the other way around in my country."

"I am very strong physique and I can hold a very large woman down for 3 hours...I am strong, I can throw rock at a gypsy from 15 metres. 10 metre if I am chained up."

Random Stuff

Democracy - Is this the best we have to offer?

I will be writing on this in the coming weeks as there's a lot in me which I need to get out.

I follow the news a lot - maybe more than what is considered healthy. Call me mental but I do increasingly get disturbed by most of it. I know shit happens all over the world and there's unfortunately, not much you can do about it. What worries me though, is not some gang rape in India for eg - they've got most of the population living in rural areas following centuries old traditions and customs so you can expect this shit to happen.

What worries me more, is when it is our 'civilised' western countries who lead the rest of the world when it comes to murders, rapes, and crime in general.

We vote our governments in and then allow them to massacre thousands of innocent civilians, women and children in places like Afghanistan and Iraq. We support terrorist like Ariel Sharon in his country's illegal occupation of Palestenian lands. Our governments can literally do whatever they want, against majority public opinion, and get away with it, in style. This is really starting to piss me off.

I've lost all faith in this form of government. Surely there must be something better we can come up with? I would really appreciate if you could leave your comments saying what you think is the solution, why do our democratically elected governments continue to fail us, what is wrong with our societies in general?

Babe of the Day - Kate Moss

Kate Moss has come in for a lot of stick recently over her drug consumption habits - To be fair to her, everyone does it these days and to single her out is a bit unfair methinks.

Gallery 1 :: Gallery 2

How to...

convince your date that Backdoor Entry can be fun?!

Gay post.

Now's the Time

Why do we WAIT to be hapy and start enjoying our lives?

We convince ourselves that life will be better after we get the new job, get married, have a baby, then another. Then we are frustrated that the kids aren't old enough and we'll be more content when they are. After that, we're frustrated that we have teenagers to deal with. We will certainly be happy when they are out of that stage.

We tell ourselves that our life will be complete when our spouse gets his or her act together, when we get a nicer car, when we are able to go on a nice vacation or when we retire.

The truth is there's no better time to be happy than right now. If not now, when? Your life will always be filled with challenges.

It's best to admit this to yourself and decide to be happy anyway. Happiness is the way. So, treasure every moment that you have and treasure it more because you shared it with someone special, special enough to spend your time with ... and remember that time waits for no one.

So, stop waiting
Until your car or home is paid off.
Until you get a new car or home.
Until your kids leave the house.
Until you go back to school.
Until you finish school.
Until you lose 10 lbs.
Until you gain 10 lbs.
Until you get married.
Until you get a divorce.
Until you have kids.
Until you retire.
Until summer..
Until spring.
Until winter.
Until fall...

...Until you die.

There is no better time than right now to be happy. Happiness is a journey, not a destination.

So as they say... work like you don't need money, love like you've never been hurt, and, dance like no one's watching

Shaima's tag

I have been tagged, yet again, this time by SHAIMA. I should start fining people who do this!

5 years ago
I had finished my BTEC HND at NorthWest Kent College - Moved to Brentford, MIDDX from Swanley, Kent, quit my job as graphics/web designer at Ikonami and started working as Deputy Manager at Phones 4U Hounslow.

1 year ago
Can't believe its almost one year now - One year ago this time I was preparing to move to Dubai, excited a bit as I'd heard things about it... One year on and I've realised how Dubai is just a gold plated turd. Nothing more.

5 songs I know all the words to
I'm bad at remembering words to songs but still there are a few I can think of from on top of me head...
U2 - with or without you
Eminem - Lose yourself (Don't ask why)
Panjabi MC - Beware of the boys / Mundeya te bach ke
Jay Sean - Dance with you
Coldplay - Clocks

5 snacks I enjoy
Nachos, Potato Wedges, Samosa/Pakoras, Crisps, and the spinach and cheese ravioli casserole i had last night.

5 things I'd do with £100 million
Buy a big f*ckoff mansion somewhere in the south of Spain, complete with a built in theatre.
Get meself a Ferrari and a Hummer complete with a buttnaked female cheuffer(sp)
Make movies
Get myself a Hawker 800XP/800 and complete my flying lessons
Travel the world until whatever's left, runs out.

5 places I'd run away to
London
Edinburgh
Madrid
Karachi
Monaco

5 favourite shows
I've been watching american TV mostly since moving to Dubai so my current favourites are (besides football)
Everybody loves raymond
Simpsons
King of Queens
Just shoot me
Becker

5 greatest joys
Watching Footie at a quality pub with my mates
Flying
Doing something for somebody when they least expect it / need it badly
Batting (Cricket)
PS2

5 People to pass it on to
A lot of people have already done it - so if YOU haven't, then it you (first 5)! Leave your names in comments so we know who's next.

Worst Use of Bill Gates in a TV Commercial

In August, Microsoft CEO Bill Gates starred in a Coke commercial in which he wandered the halls of Microsoft late at night looking for someone to loan him change for the Coke machine. It was a cute idea with one fatal flaw: Microsoft has a 20-year tradition of providing its employees with all the soda, coffee, and caffeinated beverages they can drink—free of charge.

WATCH

Chelsea – Killing Football For Us All

By Paul Tomkins



There is much navel-gazing taking place in football at the moment. A lack of goals in big games; two-thirds of the Premiership looking to avoid relegation with stifling tactics; the empty seats at many stadia; and, in the case of Liverpool fans, the dip that follows any 'high' in life, be it heroin, caffeine or sugar. If you go up, you can only come down again. Sometimes with a bang. CONTINUE...

One hit wonder!

Alina who had a brief stint here on this.is.anfield, has now been shown the red card!

Babe of the Day - Maggie Grace

More photos from Babes of The Goose.

Urban Legends: Cokelore

- The New Coke fiasco was actually a clever marketing ploy.
- Coca-Cola became carbonated by accident.
- Coca-Cola was once considered anti-Semitic for refusing to do business in Israel.
- The modern image of Santa Claus was created by Coca-Cola.
- Coca-Cola used to contain cocaine.
- Coca-Cola is an effective spermicide.
- A tooth left in a glass of Coca-Cola will dissolve overnight.
- The shape of the Coca-Cola bottle was mistakenly based on the cacao tree seed pod.
- Coca-Cola's name was translated into Chinese as "bite the wax tadpole."
- Combining Coca-Cola and aspirin will get you high.
- Only two people in the company know Coca-Cola's formula, and each of them only knows half of it.
- Coca-Cola was originally green.
- The Mormons own the Coca-Cola Company.
- The cursive script of the Coca-Cola label includes an image of a person snorting cocaine.
- Coca-Cola used to send a salesman out to purchase a piece of Coca-Cola chewing gum once a year to protect its trademark on the product.
- Little Mikey of LIFE cereal fame died from the explosive effects of mixing Pop Rocks candy with Coca-Cola.*
- Coca-Cola is giving away free cases of soda to people who forward an e-mail message.*
- Coca-Cola's cursive script logo was designed to reveal anti-Islamic messages in its mirror image.
- The acids in Coca-Cola make it harmful to drink.
- A kid who drank the liquid used as ballast in a MagiCan promotion died.*
- A Middle Eastern advertisement created by Coca-Cola depicts the Coke logo emblazoned on the Dome of the Rock.*
- Coca-Cola has announced that it will be donating four days' worth of income to Israel.* Kindness performed for a stranger nets a warning not to drink Coca-Cola after a certain date.*
- University student who drinks too many Cokes dies from carbon dioxide poisoning.
- Coca-Cola recalled an advertising poster due to a risqué image hidden within it.
- Fanta was invented by the Nazis.
- Al-Qaeda terrorists have poisoned one in five cans of Coca-Cola with anthrax and arsenic.*
- Diet Coke and/or Diet Pepsi contain more calories than stated, with their producers opting to pay a fine.

USES OF COKE BESIDES DRINKING/SNORTING

Photo Finish

Astrodome: Within two minutes of AFP photographer Stanly Honda electronically publishing a photo of Katrina victim Latesha Vinette holding up her Red Cross debit card, Ms. Vinette was paged by the management of Reliant stadium to receive a call from Mastercard asking about cash advances totally $65,237, the attempted purchase of a Ferrari automobile using her card #, along with hundreds of purchases from eBay, including, ironically, camping gear. MORE

Wishful Thought of the day

Just when you thought it couldn't get any worse...

If you want to see the true face of war, go to the amateur porn Web site NowThatsFuckedUp.com

For almost a year, American soldiers stationed in Iraq and Afghanistan have been taking photographs of dead bodies, many of them horribly mutilated or blown to pieces, and sending them to Web site administrator Chris Wilson. In return for letting him post these images, Wilson gives the soldiers free access to his site. American soldiers have been using the pictures of disfigured Iraqi corpses as currency to buy pornography.

Windows Error Messages Gallery

Windows Error Messages Gallery