Saturday, March 11, 2006

Babe of the Day: Leanne Tweeden

Some more Celebrity Facts

Here's the first installment, if you missed it

Ron Jeremy was a high school teacher before he began making adult films.

Ron Jeremy holds the record for "Most Appearances in Adult Films" in the Guinness Book of World Records (1750).
Ron Jeremy has a master's degree in Special Education.

Ron Jeremy can perform auto-fellatio.

Sharon Stone was the first Star Search spokesmodel.

Madonna was considered for the role of Ginger in Casino, but Sharon Stone convinced Martin Scorsese to give her the role instead.

Sharon Stone's IQ is 154; the average IQ is 100.

Sharon Stone is allergic to caffeine.

In 1998, Robert De Niro was caught up in a Paris prostitution ring investigation.

For The Untouchables, Robert De Niro, who played Al Capone, tracked down the real Capone's original tailors and had them make him some identical clothing for the movie.

Robert De Niro co-owns several restaurants in New York, including Nobu and Layla.

After he was born, Robert De Niro's father came out of the closet as a homosexual and eventually divorced Robert's mother.

Jim Morrison named his group The Doors after reading Aldous Huxley's book, The Doors Of Perception.

Mr. Mojo Risin, a line from the song "LA Woman" by The Doors, is an anagram for Jim Morrison.

Jim Morrison's grave in Paris, France, is the city's 4th most popular attraction after the Eiffel Tower, Versailles and the Louvre.

Al Capone's business card said he was a used-furniture dealer.

Al Capone's older brother Vince was a policeman in Nebraska.

Francesco "Frank" Galluccio is the man who scarred Al Capone's face.

Michael Jordan's father was murdered while he was sleeping in his car.

Michael Jordan earned two Olympic gold medals in men's basketball in 1984 and 1992.

Both of Michael Jordan's parents are under 5'9"; Jordan is 6'6".

Quentin Tarantino originally wrote the role of Mr. Pink in Reservoir Dogs for himself.

Quentin Tarantino was sued by Don Murphy for $5,000,000, because he attacked Murphy in a restaurant, slammed him against the wall and punched him in November 1997.

Quentin Tarantino's IQ is 160 even though he dropped out of high school; the average is 100.

Angelina Jolie has the Latin phrase "Quod me nutrit me destruit" ("What nourishes me also destroys me") tattooed across her abdomen.

When Angelina Jolie married Jonny Lee Miller in 1996, she painted her husband's name across the back of her white shirt in her own blood (she wore black leather pants).

Angelina Jolie is an avid knife collector.

Hit the Neviller...

...for a home run

Who sent me this link?!

Jose Mourinho - caught masturbating

Did anyone see the incident where Mourinho slapped Puyol in the tunnel?. I seemed to have missed it on the telly.


Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good!

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!!... Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO . Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets. And remember:
"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO, What a Ride"

Midget Michael Jackson

Goal of the Year 2005

Possibly one of the best freekicks you'll ever see

Drills it through the upper 90!! What the f*ck are american commentators talking about sometimes?!? I like the commentator who says 'nothing special'

What is heaven?

Church Bulletins

Thank God for church ladies with typewriters. These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services:

1. The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.

2. The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water." The sermon tonight: "Searching for Jesus."

3. Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.

4. The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been cancelled due to a conflict.

5. Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say "Hell" to someone who doesn't care much about you.

6. Don't let worry kill you off, let the Church help.

7. Miss Charlene Mason sang "I will not pass this way again," giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.

8. For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

9. Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.

10. The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir will sing: "Break Forth Into Joy."

11. Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.

12. A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.

13. At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What Is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.

14. Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.

15. Scouts are saving aluminium cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

16. Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.

17. The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.

18. Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00pm. Prayer and medication to follow.

19. The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.

20. This evening at 7pm there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.

21. Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10am. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. is done.

22. The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.

23. Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7pm. Please use the back door.

24. The primary 7's will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7pm. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

25. Weight Watchers will meet at 7pm at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.

Friday, March 10, 2006

Babe of the Day - Kirsty Gallacher

Glitter Campaigns Hard....

Also checkout: Gary Orders Take Away

Ali G - Some of the best

Pamela David is FINE!

European Men - As seen by dumb yanks

Great Britain is England, Scotland and Wales. The United Kingdom is Great Britain plus North Ireland. Most people don't understand this technicality, nor do they care. They toss Ireland into the lot and call the whole thing Britain. That's fine, but the truth is, England is the only one of the bunch that has anything going for it. Unlike the others, England has a past, a future and a decent football team. When we say "British," we're talking about England.

Ladies, you shouldn't bother with men from the neglected parts of the British Isles. Scottish men wear skirts, play terrible musical instruments, are afraid of water monsters and will try to feed you a lamb liver wrapped in sheep stomach. Irish guys are belligerent alcoholics, claim to see little green men at the end of a rainbow and although their favorite hobby is arguing, they're absolutely miserable at it. Men from North Ireland will try convincing you to carry a suspicious package on your flight back home. And Welch men - Have you ever met anyone from Wales? We've been to the country three times and barely remember meeting anyone. There's nothing to be said for them.

Not only do the neglected countries lack modern day bragging rights, but they've also made few (if any) historical contributions to society. Have you ever tried reading something by Irish author James Joyce? What a bloody nightmare! A boring six-page story about a little boy who went to a flea market and didn't buy anything is supposedly symbolic for sexual discoveries and a loss of innocence. Then there's William Wallace, the pride of Scotland. After the movie Braveheart became a hit, the William Wallace museum created a life-sized statue of their hero and put him out front? However, the statue isn't William Wallace; it's Mel Gibson.

Potential Boyfriend Names

Benjamin .............................ben-NAY
Cameron .............................CAM-run
Callum ................................Column
Charles ...............................CHAW-lee
Daniel .................................dan-YOUL
Harold .................................Airy
Jack ...................................Jack
Michael ...............................mike-KAY
Oliver ..................................OLIVE-uh
Peter ..................................PETE-uh
William ...............................Wills

Four Insights into British Culture

British Dogs
There's nothing noteworthy about the dogs in Britain, but you might be curious to know that the nation's number one road kill is the hedgehog.

British Driving
If you hopped into the driver's seat in Britain, you'd be on the wrong side of the car driving on the wrong side of the road. Instead of stop signs, the British drive around in circles. Passing the drivers license test is next to impossible: If a driver does something "wrong" (such as forgetting to put on the parking break at a stop light), they fail. There's a six month wait for another chance to test. When British people finally receive their license, they don't have to renew it until they're 70.

Drunk driving laws in Britain are crazy, so don't expect your date to pick you up in a flashy sports car. He'll arrive on foot because he left his keys at home on the kitchen table. If he's caught with keys in his pocket and he's within 50 feet of his car, he can be arrested for a DUI. British are extreme about drunk driving.

British Time Telling Abilities
Most British people wear digital watches because they find the ones with the hands a bit confusing. They're also baffled by thermostats: all beer is served at least twenty degrees too warm.

British Theft
The British bobbies (policemen) aren't issued weapons - instead they carry around big sticks. Beefeaters (policemen who guard palaces) don't even have sticks. They just have rifles loaded with blanks and frumpy red hats. They look like clowns trying out for the Nutcracker. For some reason big sticks and clowns are a real crime deterrent because the Brits don't have too many problems.

Useful British Phrases

What You'll Want To Say .................................How To Say It:
Get that shit you call food away from me. .............No thanks, I'm not hungry
I'm so hungry, I haven't eaten in weeks. ................Is there an Indian restaurant around?
Keep talking - I just want to hear your sexy voice...Are you a football fan?
Sorry, darling, not interested............................... Do I look like a two-bit slag?
Your jokes aren't funny and Mr. Bean sucks......... Humor in Britain is different than America.

How to Meet Him

The only place to meet a British man is in a pub, unless, of course, you happen to meet him in the streets on his way home from the pub. Don't think of a British pub the way you think of an American bar because they're worlds apart. Yes, both have beer, liquor and dirty old men, but Brits use their pubs as community gathering points. Many pubs even have swing sets and picnic tables out back so you can bring along the whole family.

Tips for the Date

Primping for your date? You should probably ditch the evening gown because you're heading out for a night in the pub - probably the same pub you met him in because that's the only place he ever goes. And unless he mentioned something about Indian food, you should eat dinner before he arrives. The British aren't known for their scrumptious cuisine and pub food is no exception. The grease on an order of fish and chips turns the whole meal white if left sitting for any length of time. Baked beans and bangers (sausage) are nearly inedible and blood pudding is as miserable as it sounds. You can order the spotted dick for desert, but you can guess where we recommend you shove it.

What You Should Know about Britain

You probably think proper British accents make people sound adorable and refined, but that's limited to London and what you've seen from Hollywood. Most dialects sound like people are fighting against a frog in their voice box to cough up a few words.

What You Need To Know About British Cities

Belfast..............................You'll probably want to stay away.
Cambridge.........................If he mentions going to school here, he's one of the rare smart ones.
Cardiff ..............................Somewhere in Wales.
Dublin...............................Not as cool on St. Patrick's Day as NYC.
Edinburgh..........................Funny accents.
Glasgow............................Even funnier accents.
Liverpool............................Gave birth to the Beatles.
London..............................Where your flight probably arrives.
Manchester.......................Ooooh baby, David Beckham.
Oxford..............................Clinton was in school here for a semester.
Stratford-Upon-Avon...........Think Shakespeare.
Windsor............................If you really need to see a castle, the best is here.

Impressing His Mother

His mother is bound to be a major packrat. The country is flooded with antiques because ladies like her never throw anything away. The easiest way to win her over is to ask questions about her furniture. She'll launch into a ten hour spiel about how the coffee table belonged to her grandmother's best friend's cousin, but through a series of deaths, she was able to get her hands on it. If you appear interested and refrain from interrupting, you're in.

British Girl Competition

To picture a typical British girl, think Scary Spice but not as good-looking. She's loud and opinionated and if you're competing for a boy, she's going to do her best to make your life miserable. If she asks for a fag, it's a not a bad thing. If she calls you a slag, it's your cue to punch her. Ignore any strange phrase such as "Bob's your uncle" and "Taking the Mickey." It's all part of some silly humor that isn't worth an explanation.

When You Want Him to Go Away

British men are insanely loyal when it comes to their local football (soccer) team. British football lunatics make headlines for beating the hell out of everyone and everything. They get so into the game that they start fights whether their team wins or loses. It's a little crazy, but you can manipulate his weakness for football to get rid of him. Hopefully you won't get injured in the process.

Let's pretend, for example, that your British man is from Ipswich. An Ipswich man hates everything that has to do with their rival, the Norwich Canaries. Norwich's colors are yellow and green and they're sponsored by Coleman's mustard. The easiest way to get rid of him is to wear nothing but yellow and green. Within a day or two, he will start loathing you. His hatred may be a displaced subconscious thing or it may spawn from your refusal to change your clothes. If for some reason, he's completely oblivious to your wardrobe, paint yourself yellow and green and walk around with a stuffed canary on your shoulder and a jar of Coleman's in your purse. He'll be gone in no time.

American Idol - five of the worst!

Did you see this banner on Wednesday?


How did a chat amongst a group of friends in an Istanbul street cafe last May result in a brilliant new banner making its debut on the Kop on Wednesday night? Let Matthew Owen explain.

Thursday, March 09, 2006

Video: The Lip Synching Chick Is Back

Some girl ate Britney!

Alumni - Class of 1993

Checkout the lady on the fifth row, extreme right. Classy!

Thanks to M Rich for sending this in

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

Congratulations Benfica

They were the better side on the day, even though we missed some glaring chances and hit the woodwork twice, the most important statistics in football isn't your possession or shots on goal or the number of corners, its how many times you have put the ball in the back of the net. And we lost on that one - Fairplay to Benfica, and we wish you good luck for the rest of the tournament.

I'm gutted, but not disappointed. There are reasons to look back on this season and feel a sense of accomplishment, specially if we do finish ahead of Man U on 2nd.

Last year, were shite in the league and finished 5th. You wouldn't have thought before the start of this season, even with the 5th European Cup, that this team will be challenging for no.2, will have the one of the meanest defences in England and the strongest midfield in the Premier League. But here we are.

Our problems lie right at the front.

Jose the c*nt Mourinho, gracious as ever in defeat!

Jose Mourinho suggested Barcelona's progress hinged on what he regards as Asier del Horno's unjust red card as he reflected on Chelsea's Champions League exit. "We were playing with 10 players for most of the first leg so we haven't seen two games where we had 11 against 11," the manager said. "Barcelona haven't won against 11 players, so that's all I can say."

Asked by ITV Sport whether the better team had won over the two legs, Mourinho replied: "I don't think so." He added: "We had a tough job after the first tie which was lost in circumstances that were minimum strange."

Lo and behold, we don't get an proper honest answer - how the best team by far won or how Ronaldinho is a genius that no superlatives can do justice. Instead, surprise surprise it's how Del Horno was 'unfairly' dismissed in the first match. Something you should've learnt from last years semi final Jose - the games are played over 180 minutes. Can't your £300 million team cope with that?

Ronaldinho's GOAL (One of these should work)


Does anyone know why there was a WestHam flag in Nou Camp?!?!

Babe of the Day: Leonor Varela

Are Google Pissed Off That Crash Won The Oscar?

More Proof: Beer is GOOD for you!

More good news for those of you who like a swift pint or two: beer doesn't just fight cancer and make you clever but also blocks "interferon-gamma-induced chemical processes".

This is a good thing, trust us, because what the Innsbruck Medical University team behind this revelation has shown - in layman's terms - is that beer offers a resultant anti-inflammatory effect which may have a "beneficial impact on coronary heart diseases".

More specifically, in vitro tests on peripheral mononuclear blood cells demonstrated that beer extracts blocked the effects of said interferon-gamma - "one of the most important messengers in inflammatory response and mainly produced as part of the cellular immune response".

To cut right to the chase: "Beer extracts inhibit, among other things, the production of neopterin and the degradation of tryptophan by suppressing T-cell response."

The team notes that "this suppression might be connected with the calming effect of beer since its normalising effect on the tryptophan balance improves the availability of the 'happiness hormone' serotonin".

Agreeably, the alcohol content of the beer is irrelevant, although lead boffin Professor Dietmar Fuchs inevitably cautioned that the potentially beneficial effects discovered "must of course be weighed against the negative effects and dangers of drinking alcohol".

Fuchs added: "The effects could indeed be observed on extracts of alcohol-free beers. Our findings must, therefore, not be understood as an encouragement to drink alcohol."
Here's proof that drinking too much BEER can turn you into a woman - Irrefutable proof provided by scientists at European Annual Reproduction Conference.

Also checkout:

Picture Special: Reds Prepare For Benifica

Rafael Benitez and Pako Ayesteran led the players through one last training session at Melwood before tonight's match at Anfield and was there with a camera.

Get the million dollar smile - For those high-stress days

Aida Yespica

Bronzed up for MAXIM, April 2006

Joke of the Day: For my Jewish Friends

After months of negotiation, Avraham, a Jewish scholar from Odessa, was granted permission to visit Moscow.
He boarded the train and sat down. At the next stop a young man got on and sat next to him. Avraham looked at the young man and thought,

This fellow doesn't look like a peasant, and if he isn't a peasant he probably comes from this area. If he comes from this area, he must be Jewish because this is, after all, a Jewish area. On the other hand, if he is a Jew, where could he be going?
I'm the only one from our area to be allowed to travel to Moscow.

Wait - just outside Moscow there is a little village called Samvet, and you don't need special permission to go there.
But why would he be going to Samvet? He's probably going to visit one of the Jewish families there, but how many Jewish families are there in Samvet? Only two - the Bernsteins and the Steinbergs. The Bernsteins are a terrible family, so he must be visiting the Steinbergs.

But why is he going? The Steinbergs have only girls, so maybe he's their son-in-law. But if he is, then which daughter did he marry?

Sarah married that nice lawyer from Budapest and Esther married a businessman from Zhadomir, so it must be Sarah's husband. Which means that his name is Alexander Cohen, if I'm not mistaken. But if he comes from Budapest, with all the anti-Semitism they have there, he must have changed his name. What's the Hungarian equivalent of Cohen? Kovacs. But if he changed his name he must have some special status.
What could it be? A doctorate from the University.

At this point Avraham turns to the young man and said, "How do you do, Dr Kovacs?"
"Very well, thank you, sir" answered the startled passenger. "But how is it that you know my name?"
"Oh," replied Avraham, "it was obvious".

Monday, March 06, 2006

Babe of the Day: Eva Mendes

Oscars 2006 in Pictures

Tech Support


And now we have Episode Two, Thanks to an anonymous reader.
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