Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Babe of the Day: Keira Knightley

How Mercedes build their cars

Sick Jokes

What's worse than finding half a maggot in your apple?
Getting raped.

Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle?
Because his wife is dead.

Did you hear about the man with five penises?
His pants fit like a glove.

What is the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?
You can't hear an enzyme.

What's the definition of a clunt?
Someone who runs away from a chinese chip shop without paying.

Had me first blow job today.
Fucking five whiskeys and I still can't get rid of the taste.

What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?
She choked.

What's blue and sticky?
Smurf cum.

What's got four legs and goes woof?
Piper Alpha.

If a girl is uncomfortable watching you wank, is it because:
A. She is a prude
B. You don't know her well enough
C. You should have sat somewhere else on the bus

If you have a donkey and I have a rooster and your donkey eats the feet off my rooster, what do we have?
2 feet of my cock in your ass!

What do elephants use as vibrators?

What's hard, 6" long and fun to play with in the toilet?
A Nintendo Gameboy.

Did you hear about the nostalgic gynecologist?
He went back to his hometown to look up an old girlfriend.

What's got eight legs and one eye?
Two chairs and half a pig's head.

What's a leper's favourite chocolate bar?

The world's best collection of Sick Jokes

Kewell's Pad

If advertisers were honest

Dirty Dan Fact # 231: I used to work for P4U between 2001-2003, managing 8 different stores in the West London area.

More: If advertisers were honest

FAO: Arsenal Fans

Free Image Hosting at www.ImageShack.us Free Image Hosting at www.ImageShack.us Free Image Hosting at www.ImageShack.us

Also checkout: Road to Paris

Is it nippy outside?

Vid of the Day: Wakey Wakey Wakey

Bloke going around waking people up in the noisest possible ways. Some of the reactions are hilarious!!

Who needs a desk?

This is an office desk. Wanna see it destroyed?

Link of the Day

I bet they do this on purpose.

Monday, May 08, 2006

Did he slip them one up the wrong'un

SPIN king Shane Warne is caught up in fresh claims of a sex romp with two women, complete with steamy text messages, barely a week after returning to England.

Full Story: Warne 'in sex romp with two women'

Shane Warne Sex Scandal: The Photos

Shane Warne 1
Shane Warne 2
Shane Warne 3
Shane Warne 4
Shane Warne 5
Shane Warne 6

Sunday, May 07, 2006

Portsmouth v Liverpool - Goals

UPDATE: Try this link for the goals - before it crashes as well.

You'll need the latest VLC Media Player for this. (and for more future downloads)




Watch this space for the Match Review and Comments. Or you could, meanwhile, check this out. Don't need the VLC Player for this one.

Some quality insults!

And its none of that regular recycled crap you get on other websites, written years ago. These are new, fresh, and contributed by the lovely chaps at f365!

Whilst looking at a gorgeous lass stood next to you at the bar
You: "Hey baby, have you ever given anyone a wank"?
Her: "I may have done"
You: "Well wash your hands and pass me the nuts"

Your Dad was in Brokeback Mountain

When your mate knocks at the door. Open it and say, 'did someone order a Cunt?'

If I throw a stick will you fuck off?

Go take your face for a shit! (put loads of emphasis in the word 'shit')

Your mum. Or in Liverpool "Ya ma' Lad!"



Son of a wankstained syphilitic motherless goat

You have a face like a bulldog licking piss off a nettle!



Ya Fanbelt

You have a face like a slapped arse.

Thick as a ghurka's foreskin

Cardboard face

Your mother is a hampster and your father smelt of elderberries!!!


Are you Coconutman's love child?


Cum-guzzling thundertwat!

I used to have that exact same jumper! Then i got a job.

You so ugly when you were born the doctor slapped ya mama

Speculate on their mums hairy armpits. "She looks like she has got bob marley in a headlock"

You are as good as a cock flavoured lollypop

You have a face like a dropped pie!

Your face looks like it's been set on fire and put out with a shovel



The best part of you dribbled down your daddy's leg..................as he climbed off your sister

Turbo cunt

Turd Botherer

Sheep enthusiast

She had a fanny like a wizards sleeve

An old classic. Hold up your middle finger and say "Smell your mum!"
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