this.is.anfield: 17 December 2006

Merry Xmas!

Liverpool playing silly buggers

Sad news this morning...

Joseph Barbera, the man who helped produce many cartoons for Hanna Barbera, has died.

It's been announced that the funeral procession will pass the same 3 buildings every 2 seconds...

Goals from The Valley

Goals at YouTube

Have you EVER seen anyone looking more Wasted...

... than this man?

Bring the f*ckers on!!

Fukin get in. What a fantastic draw. Absolutely f*cking cannot wait for this. The atmosphere at Anfield will be fu*king immense. Hold em at the Nou and we'll tonk em at home. Piece of piss.

If you're in the European Cup for an easy draw, then you shouldn't be in it. The point is to see your team match up against the best in Europe, and that's what we get. Fantastic draw. Rafa knows Barca inside out and he's regarded as a tactical genius in Spain, after masterminding Liverpool CL triumph.

Last year we were loving the fact we had Benfica. The season before we beat the champions of England and Italy on the way to the final. F*ck it. We are liverpool football club, Rafa will know them inside out, and they will not relish playing against us on a cold, rainy night at Anfield with our fans bringing the roof down with the noise. Imagine the finale: 97th minute, Redmen 1 up on aggregate, Barca pressing for the goal that would take them through..."It's Gudjonsen...oh fuckin hell how did it stay out!"

They must be regretting not winning the group. who do you think Barca would have wanted, us or Porto? They'd rather get us than a few other teams who were in the pot, but they won't be delighted. They won't want to play us at Anfield.

Ten reasons why its a fantastic draw.

1) I'd rather go out to a team like Barca than a team like Benfica.
2) Anfield will be buzzing.
3) We are better as underdogs.
4) Barca will suffer from going to Japan, as we did last year.
5) All the talk arounf the world for the next two months will be LFC v Barca, with everyone expecting Barca to win this tie. Remember Juve? Remember Chelsea? Remember AC Milan? Remember Chelsea and Man Utd in last years FA Cup?
6) Rafa, Xabi, Pepe & luis will be fired up for sure.
7) The players will raise their game for the occasion and not be complacent as we were against Benfica
Rafa knows Barca better than any other manager in the premiership. He's probably having a crafty w*nk over the tie as we speak.
9) Finnan will have Ronaldinho in his back pocket
10) If we get a 0-0, 1-1 or even a 2-1 we have a very good chance with the second leg at home. Barca will NOT like a cold day in liverpool with our fans!

There is no disgrace to going out of the champions league to a brilliant side that are steeped in European Cup history.

And Barcelona fans can take some consolation in that.

I'm gonna go get meself a goldfish...

Two builders go into the pub after a hard day's work. They're sat drinking for a while when a very smartly dressed man walks in and orders a drink. The two began to speculate about what the man did for a living.

"I'll bet he's an accountant." said the first builder.

"Looks more like a stockbroker to me." argued the second.

They continued to debate the subject for a good while until
eventually the first builder needed to use the toilet. On walking in, he saw the smartly dressed man standing at a urinal.

"Excuse me mate, but me and my friend have been arguing over what a smartly dressed fella like you does for a living?" the builder said to the man.

Smiling the man replied, "I'm a logical scientist."

"A what?" asked the builder.

"It's a bit difficult to explain, let me give you an example" the man continued, "Do you have a goldfish at
home?"

A bit puzzled, but intrigued the builder decided to play along,
"Yes, I do as it happens."

"Well then it's logical to assume that you either keep it in a
bowl or a pond. Which is it?"

"A pond" the builder replied.

"Well then it's logical to assume that you have a large garden."

The builder nodded his agreement. So the man continued, "which means it's logical to assume you have a large house."

"I have a 6 bedroom house that I built myself." the builder said proudly.

"Given that you have such a large house, it's logical to assume that you are married..."

The builder nodded again, "Yes, I'm married and we have three children."

"Then it's logical to assume that you have a healthy sex life."

"Five nights a week!" the builder boasted.

The man smiled a little, "Therefore it's logical to assume you don't masturbate often."

"Never!" the builder exclaimed.

"Well there you have it" the man explained, "That's logical science at work. From finding out that you have a goldfish, I've discovered the size of your garden, all about your house, your family and your sex life!"

The builder left, very impressed by the man's talents.

On returning to the bar the other builder asked, "I see that smart bloke was in there, did you find out what he does?"

"Yeah," replied the first, "He's a logical scientist.

"A what?" the puzzled second builder asked.

"Let me explain" the first builder continued, "Do you have a goldfish at home?"

"No" replied his mate.

"Well, you're a wanker then!"