Thursday, April 27, 2006

Now here's a worthy cause

This woman bet her boyfriend if his website gets 2,000,000 hits, she would have a threesome with him and another girl.

Help him get to that mark!

Bible - Esther 5:5

I shit you not (although shame it's not Esther 18:5):

Then the king said, "Bring Haman quickly, so that it may be done

And he did, and it was. For the 5th time.

Luis Garcia sinks Chelski - Wallpaper

CLICK IMAGE FOR BIGGERY [1280x959 450kb]

Goals from West Ham v Liverpool

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

West Ham United vs Liverpool: match preview

Author: Matthew Coker (West Ham)

One of the best previews I've ever read - by an opposition supporter.

I have tried hard for the whole of this season to abstain from too many stereotypes as it just amounts to not bothering to find out the truth about our opponents.

For this particular report, I am able to confirm one stereotype regarding those from the Mersey is spot on and that is that Scouse humour is alive, well and being voiced at games of football. Hence an extra helping of songs from the stands is to be found within this report; I hope they amuse you as much as they did me.

Wednesday night, we finally sober up enough after three days of celebrating to welcome the Champions of Europe to the Boleyn. The re-arranged fixture takes place on Wednesday night as we take on Liverpool in our penultimate home fixture in what has turned out to be a FA Cup final dress rehearsal. I’ll just say that again, a FA Cup final dress rehearsal.

Our opponents currently sit confirmed as at least third place in league and the gap between them and Manchester United in second place suggests that they are going to be looking at a Bronze medal for this season’s efforts. All at the club agree is a large step in the right direction, the gap between them and Chelsea last season was 37 points, going into this weekends games, only 15 points separates them. If they can manage such improvement again next year, a title challenge is on the cards.

Babe of the Day: Lucy Clarkson

More Ugliness!

Pleasure Rooms, in Liverpool, attracting only the most minging on the merseyside.

No Pants Day!

On May 5th, 2006! No Pants Day is a day where everyone, be they students, respectable businessmen, or cherished community leaders, leave their pants behind. Usually this means wearing thick, appropriately modest boxer shorts, but bloomers, slips, briefs, and boxer-briefs all work as well.

FIFA WorldCup 2006 - Get behind this one

"Embrace have unveiled their World Cup song .....

but is it any good" ?

- Kirsty Wark, Newsnight, BBC2

NO - say the vast majority of respondents on the

"Have Your Say" website

Name on the Cup - by Trophy Boys

We know that there’s been some good times
Whenever we’ve been through bad times
We never came close to giving up

We qualified without Wembley
And forget the Denmark friendly
And Northern Ireland was just a bluff

When we’re on paper
We’ll take them one and all
With the right formation
The nation’s ready for more

Let’s show them who’s in charge
Just like St. George and the dragon
You’re our superstars
And 4-4-2’s good enough
For so long we’ve been dreaming
But now’s the time for believing
That we’re gonna write our name on the cup

Remember when we last won it
We beat the Germans…love it!
Boy have they made us pay since then

Let’s go get the cup from Berlin
And maybe the tide is turning
But don’t give us penalties…again!

With Owen and Rooney
Who needs a back four
We’ll bend it like Beckham
And lift it like Bobby Moore

Let’s show them who’s in charge
Just like St. George and the dragon
You’re our superstars
And 4-4-2’s good enough
For so long we’ve been dreaming
But now’s the time for believing
That we’re gonna write our name on the cup

Give us some Gazza magic
Another Geoff Hurst hat-trick
When we roll into town
With goals we’ll take ‘em all down

Let’s show them who’s in charge
Just like St. George and the dragon
You’re our superstars
And 4-4-2’s good enough
For so long we’ve been dreaming
But now’s the time for believing
That we’re gonna write our name on the cup

Let’s show them who’s in charge
Just like St. George and the dragon
You’re our superstars
And 4-4-2’s good enough
For so long we’ve been dreaming
But you’re the boys we believe in
And you’re gonna write our name on
I think we’ve got a game on
So come on write our...

Name on the cup!

Vote for "Name On The Cup" as The People's Choice

The World Cup-winning team of '66 love it - and are on

standby to appear in the Trophy Boyz' video !

Help the Trophy Boyz to help England WIN the World Cup (again !)

Support the team and please forward to any friends. relatives or supporters.

BBC's Voting Site
Download Site

What’s your Flirting Style?

Are you a delicious diva or the sweet girl-next-door everybody likes? Find out what men love about you...take the Flirt Quiz!

Babes of the Interweb

Pimp my wife!

Childhood Renaissance

Although little Leo's mother greatly dissaproved of drawing at the table she never could get her son to stop.

More quality art by kids

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Guess who's back....back again....DD's back...Tell a friend!!

- Riise's Goal
- Garcia's Goal
- Riise Wallpaper

What a game.

I'm not gonna do a march report cuz a) i'm a bit late on it and b) you've probably read it and re-read it a few times already. I was lucky enough to be there for the game and God have i missed going to matches over the past year and a bit!

This performance, atleast the first 70-75 minutes or so of it, proved that we can compete with quality sides. If it wasn't for Djibril Cisse being an arse and giving the ball away regularly, after the defensive howler by Riise, we would've had a comparatively easier end to the match.

I remember I was talking to the bloke sat next to me at halftime, wondering what excuse Jose would come up with after the game should Chavski lose, and we got it spot on as the classless cunt that is Jose Mourinho didn't dissappoint. I'm starting to feel sorry for the real chelsea supporters. Those who've been supporting them for longer than the last 3 years. They have a good side, some excellent talent and yet their manager cannot put his hand up and say it was him who fucked up with his team selection. He'd rather blame everything under the sun and make himself, his players and his fans look like a bunch of classless idiots who view everything through the same blue tinted glasses as their manager.

In the two years at Chelsea, has the so called 'special one' achieved anything that no other manager could've achieved given the same resources? 2 out of a possible 8 trophies?

Anyways, enough on that. I'm back now after my vacation and I hope you've missed me! I know I haven't replied to any of your comments or emails but I promise I'll start doing that straight away! Thanks for all your messages and the stuff that you guys send in!

Lets get started then shall we?

oh and before I forget, congratulations to:

And to Rafa the Gaffa who was today
named as Coach of the Year for 2005 by la Comunidad de Madrid. The REAL Special One. Watching him coolly take off his specs, fold them nicely and put them away neatly into the little case after the final whistle at OT was a sight in itself. The man is ice-cool.

Babe of the Day - Brooklyn Decker

Public Service Announcement

Pascal Cygan chilling with the reds

Seriously, how cool does Crouchie look?

You beauty

After the famous Compare and Contrast post celebrating all the beautiful people around us, here's our latest, meet this 'Hot Indian Couple'

Well done fella!

Manish Gupta Shatters Masturbation World Record

It's official, Manish Gupta is the new king of masturbation. In a stunning feat of endurance and determination, Manish Gupta achieved 36 orgasms in a 24 hour period!

Sleeping intermittently during the 24 hour marathon, Manish Gupta remained focused and aroused by his impressive library of pornographic films. With over 400 films in his library and 3 televisions playing movies at all times, he had a continuous stream of footage to aid him in his quest.

It is apparent by the massive development of the muscles in his forearm that Manish Gupta is not your average masturbator. In an interview with UJ reporters after the record setting event, Manish Gupta was quoted as saying, "masturbation for me is a way of life. I've been training for this day since I was 13 years old and I'm happy with my performance today".

This record was formerly held by German Student, Hans Blickstein who achieved 27 orgasms in a 24 hour period. Mr. Blickstein was not available for comment.

When asked what his next world record achievement would be, Manish Gupta said "my immediate goal is to get a bag of ice and some lotion on my penis to soothe the burning"

10 Tips For Newly Married Couples

1- Never forget romance
Don’t underestimate the power of a sweet word or a warm caress, a candlelight dinner accompanied with music, it can work wonders. So despite of your hectic schedules find the time to express your love and never take your partner for granted.

2- Don’t lose the sense of humor
Trying to lighten up a gloomy situation, looking at the bright side of the things would certainly be the positive and right way to deal with the difficult times.

3- Keep the respect for each other
If you don't have admiration for each other, things will not work. An indication of lack of compassion, good manners and mutual respect especially during heated discussions or difficult situations will be the poison that kills your love and marriage gradually. Don't let anything get in the way of respecting each other.

4- Don’t handcuff your partner
Marriage is not a prison sentence; it's a lifetime commitment of love, companionship and understanding. You both need breathing space, that way love will flourish and grow.

5- Don’t struggle over authority and power
Marriage is certainly not a battle field. You are not opponents, you are companions. In a marriage you must learn to compromise and to let go every once in a while, if you find your partner is getting ready for a big fight, surprise him/her by giving in, then you can find the right time for a comprehensive discussion if necessarily.

6- Be honest
Face your problems, admit that they exist and work on solving them. Hiding behind a screen will not make them disappear, and ignoring them will only build them up into a dormant volcano ready to erupt at any time, pouring out lava of pain, anger and disappointment.

7- Keep the balance between giving and taking
Love is all about giving, but mind you, this does not mean that one party should take advantage of the other; it can't mean endless giving from one partner and endless taking from the other. There is a thin line between the two partners of giving and taking each in his way.

8- It is just the two of you
Keep your marriage details and problems for yourselves and don’t let people influence your marriage. Always remember that anyone beside you and your partner is a third party even your mother, sister, and best friend.

9- Keep marriage sexually satisfying
Don’t be embarrassed to talk about your sexual needs or fears with your partner, if you are not satisfied in bed or if you feel that your partner has a sexual problem, choose the right moment and discuss it with him.

10- Its takes time
Both of you are used to different things, different habits; how you eat, when you sleep and even when and what to watch in TV, so you have to understand that it is take time and effort from both of you to get used to living together.

Monday, April 24, 2006

Law School

Another successful day for celebrity lawyer Nick Freeman, then.

On Wednesday, client Lee Bowyer was banned from driving for 42 days and fined £650 after changing his plea on the eve of his court appearance at Northumberland Magistrates' Court.

"He was summoned for speeding, he was not summoned for speeding at 132mph. There was a great deal of negotiation with the Crown and my client pleaded guilty to speeding at 99mph. It was a plea the Crown accepted," explained a triumphant Freeman.

It was just the latest in a long line of successful bouts with the CPS for Mr Freeman and his grateful clients.

Other notable successes for 'Mr Loophole' include:

* The defence of Sir Alex Ferguson, cleared of driving along the hard shoulder of the M42, after arguing that the ManYoo boss had been rushing to the toilet suffering from 'severe diarrhoea'. "I had to go somewhere quickly," Fergie told a court hearing. Freeman claimed that, in the circumstances, Ferguson had two options available to him: "One is unthinkable and one is to take evasive action."

* The defence of David Beckham, whose eight-month disqualification from driving was quashed on appeal after Freeman argued that his client was "petrified" by pursuing paparazzi. Beckham claimed to have been "very nervous and shaken". He also announced during his 50 minutes in the witness box that an attempt had been made to snatch his nine-month-old son Brooklyn as they left Harrods a week earlier. In his biography of the Beckhams, author Andrew Morton accused David of making up the story.

* The defence of Paul Ince’s wife after she was caught speeding at 110mph because police sent a form to Ince, the registered owner of the car, rather than his other half. Mrs Ince's costs were then paid from public funds.

* The defence of Ashley Ward after the former Bradford striker was accused of speeding. Despite TV footage showing Ward's Aston Martin Vantage sports car nipping down the motorway at 110mph, he was cleared because, although the driver gave his name as Ashley Ward, 'the officer admitted in court that he could not be sure of the man's identity because he did not recognise him as the footballer.' A police video, played in court, was switched off - at Freeman's insistence - before the driver could be seen getting out of his car.

* The halting of Ronnie O’Sullivan's drink-drive hearing when Freeman accused the magistrate of winking at the press benches.

* The defence of Ronnie O'Sullivan from charges of drink-driving after Freeman claimed that the snooker player was "too stressed" to give a sample.

* The defence of millionaire John Marmelok, accused of smashing into his neighbour's house, after an anaesthetist instead of a police surgeon drew blood from the comatose driver.

* The defence of a millionaire property developer accused of speeding on the basis that police officers had failed to mention in the witness box that they identified the driver.

* The defence of Steve McFadden after calling on a police surgeon to prove the porky Eastenders actor's remarkable capacity for vodka.

* The defence of Jamie Meakin (another actor, apparently) after his VW Beetle smashed into a garden wall and a breath test at the scene found him to be over the legal limit. Freeman said the officers had failed to properly question and record the details of the woman who reported the accident. He said that as the woman was a possible witness, Meakin would be denied a fair trial if the defence were unable to call her.

* The defence of a woman found slumped in the car at a motorway service station car park, with an empty 500ml vodka bottle on the ground nearby. To quote from The Daily Telegraph: 'Police could not rouse Yvonne Lancaster when they found her. She smelled of alcohol, had taken blood pressure tablets and a B-test showed 136 microgrammes of alcohol in 100 millilitres of breath. The legal limit is 35 microgrammes. Mrs Lancaster had to be propped up in the police station and was unable to answer most questions.'

However, she was cleared of all charges after Freeman argued that she had not been read her rights when carried into the police station. "I could not imagine a more vulnerable detainee than this lady," he informed the court.

* The defence of his former accountant's second wife who was caught drink-driving but released due to police errors. "She was p*ssed out of her brains, no argument about that. She was not arguing that she was not drunk. They got the procedures wrong," Freeman declared.

'A few days later, the accountant's daughter, who was at university, was mown down on the street by a drunk driver. The first wife wrote to Mr Freeman asking how he could live with himself.'

"I am a professional lawyer and I do not see that what I do is wrong," he responded.


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