Saturday, March 25, 2006

We only need ten men

Phil Nevill OG - Watch ::Download

Luis Garcia -

Tim Cahill -

Harry Kewell -

Babe of the Day: Yesica Toscanini

Roasted Toffee, anyone?

The old adage is as true today as it's ever been.

League: Decent effort by the Blues some may say, but only half as good as Liverpool.
18 - 1901, 1906, 1922, 1923, 1947, 1964, 1966, 1973, 1976, 1977, 1979, 1980, 1982, 1983, 1984, 1986, 1988, 1990
9 - 1891, 1915, 1928, 1932, 1939, 1963, 1970, 1985, 1987

FA Cup: Close, but no cigar
6 - 1965, 1974, 1986, 1989, 1992, 2001
5 - 1906, 1933, 1966, 1984, 1995

League Cup: Where are ya, Blues?
7 - 1981, 1982, 1983, 1984, 1995, 2001, 2003
0 (zero)

European Cup: This is where it gets really poor. It's all very well having less league titles. Only one team can be the best, after all. And 9 is a good effort from any city's second string. But no wins at all in the Big Cup is shockin'.
5 - 1977, 1978, 1981, 1984, 2005
0 (zero)
Yes that's right. Not many people outside the city realise that Liverpool have won it FIVE TIMES !!!

UEFA Cup, Cup Winners Cup: Beginning to see the pattern?
3 - 1973, 1976, 2001
1 - 1985

In addition,
3 European Super Cups, 14 Charity shields
9 Charity Shields

Head to Head: Oh, but the derby is a great equaliser! Oh, but form counts for nothing in the Derby! Oh, but Everton are always fired up and do well! Really? Is that what you think? How do you explain this then?
League: 64 wins; Prem: 10 wins
League: 55 wins; Prem: Everton 7 wins

Can Liverpool finish 2nd?

Predictions for Liverpool:

Liverpool v Everton, 2-0
West Brom v Liverpool, 0-2
Liverpool v Bolton,
Blackburn v Liverpool,
Liverpool v Aston Villa, 2-0
Portsmouth v Liverpool, 0-2
West Ham v Liverpool, 0-2

Predictions for Man Utd:

Man Utd v Birmingham, 3-0
Man Utd v West Ham, 1-0
Bolton v Man Utd, 1-1
Man Utd v Arsenal, 1-2
Man Utd v Sunderland, 3-0
Tottenham v Man Utd, 1-1
Man Utd v Middlesbrough, 3-0
Chelsea v Man Utd, 12:30 2-1
Man Utd v Charlton, 15:00 1-0

That would mean 21 points for Liverpool from their last 7 games and 15 points for Man utd from their last 9.

Final tally, Liverpool 82 points and Man Utd 78

Its gonna be very close methinks specially with the Man UTD Chelsea game right at the end. We've got relatively easier fixtures than Man Utd. we'll need a bit of luck, obviously, but i do think Man utd against the arse and Chelsea will be 2 games that we need to go our way. Spurs too can cause them problems.
if you look at them games, on paper, and do your predictions individually for every game, we should ease it to 2nd.
However, football doesn't work that way.
I can still see it being really close, come may.

One of thebest renditions of YNWA


Thanks Garrero for sending it in.

Keyra Augustina - Revisited


Fooking quality chick . Has a new vid out,
check here, and a few more.
Keyra Augustina 1
Keyra Augustina 1
Keyra Augustina 1

Link of the Day

Make life easier at work

I know a lot of you work in offices. So what do you do to cover your back or make your life easier?

One i always do is make sure i never book a day off the same day as the boss. Its like a free day to do nothing.

Another most important thing in work is the angle of monitor so that it cannot be seen from any entrance door into your office, once you get this right everything else falls into place.

Take a long relaxing newpaper reading dump when your boss is out to lunch, but take your lunch after he comes back.

Sleep your way to the top. Its much more fun.

Incriminating photos of the boss from the Christmas party that you threaten him with every now and again just to show him who is really the boss.

Make sure you have a desk where you are facing the office and therefore no one can see your monitor screen.

Never do work if your boss isnt in yet, wait for him to see you do it.

If you are a secret work shitter, take a few random pieces of paper (preferably printed copies of my posts) and a pen with you, to give the impression that you are actually going for a quick meeting. This will guarantee you a good 15 minutes or so in the chod-bin.

If you've promised to send something off in the post but haven't managed it yet, just go to the franking machine on the day you were meant to send it and take a franked sticker. Then you can post it late and it'll look like it was held up in the post.

An obvious one, if you work abnormally late or at a weekend, make sure someone above you gets copied in on a relevant email. People always look at dates and times of emails.

If you're going to make a long distance or lengthy personal call, do it from someone elses phone.

Befriend someone in HR and IT. Geeks are underrated.

Copy and paste, articles/blogs/funny stories/text crap you've found on the net, into an new email. Hey presto, it looks like you're reading something work related, as opposed to being online.

Press the windows + m keys together to minimise all open windows at once. This is a life saver. Or right-click your task bar on a free bit (where there isn't a window) and select 'show the desktop'. This is less conspicuous than quickly pressing two keys and doesn’t arouse suspicion from passers by…

If youre go out skiving take a report/important piece of paper out with you and leave your jacket on the back of your chair

Open lots of word and excel files, take a screen shot of your desktop and then save it as your backround.

If you have forgoten to send an important e-mail.. change the clock on your PC's bios, and system clock.. to the time you were supposed to have sent it.. outlook will flag it as sent at that time.. then just blame IT for it arriving late..

If your planning a kaizer souza disappearing act eg. at 2pm on a friday simply dont bring a jacket, that way no suspicions are raised when you act like a tom & cruise. If its mid-week, wear a jacket of little value & leave it on the chair, then simply HEAD OFF, the same should be done with your reading spec's.

If your not doing work then if its possible get yourself out of the office as much as possible, go to HR, IT, print room, workshop etc. You do not want your boss to see you doing fuck all.

Always CC your boss with any work mails.

Take your lunch break the hour before your boss, he goes off & you put the feet up to digest.

Never tidy your desk.

Walk & talk when your on your mobile to your mates.

The most crucial is turn off your screen saver. You don't want your boss to know how long you have been away from your desk..

If you have an important piece of paperwork on your desk that you've forgotten to process on time, it goes without saying that the best way of dealing with it is to file it in the bin via the shredder & say you never saw it. If you process it late you will look like a slacker piece of shit, so bin it and take a 50/50 on persuading your boss that you never got it in the first place. My boss usually sighs, and then blames it on the permanently-stoned marketing department.

Simpsons theme: Unplugged guitar solo

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Babe of the Day

Owen's best goals <--- New Video Added

WATCH <---New video sent in by John Powers


Damn Lighbulbs

how many man u fans does it take to change a light bulb?
100,001, 1 to change it, 100,000 to buy official light bulb changing t-shirts, the dvd, the car sticker, and a giant foam hand.

how many arsenal fans does it take?
cinquante neuf

how many chelsea?
none, the special one has light shining out his arse.

How many west ham fans?
None, they just put out those flies that glow up, in a attempt to cheat the system, and rest their lightbulbs.

How many west brom fans?
30,000 running on hamster wheels to generate electricity in their backwards world, and 1 to put the light bulb in with his 12 fingers

How many arsene wengers does it take to change a light bulb?
none, he didnt see it

How many west ham fans does it take?
None, because if there was at least one west ham fan around a light bulb, it's fair to say they'd smash it on the ground, pick up the half light bulb and stab you with it.

How many evertonians does it take to change a lightbulb?
250,000. 1 to change it and 249,999 to blame liverpool fc for the lightbulb going out in the first place. bitter cunts.

How many villa fans?
Irrelevant, because they're just sitting in the dark, moaning and whining, and chanting for the electrician to resign.

How many middlesborogh fans does it take to change a lightbulb?
there are middlesborough fans?

How does jose mourinho screw in a lightbulb?
he just stands there with his arm in the air while the world revolves around him.

How many jose mourinhos does it take to change a light bulb?
we were the better team. the best team didnt win today.

How do Liverpool FC change their lightbulbs?
They leave it to Crouch, he is good in the air you know.

How many Manchester United fans does it take to change a lightbulb?
Two. One to change the lightbulb and the other to drive him back to Surrey.

How many Chelsea fans does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. They'll just buy a new floodlight system.

How many Orthodox Jewish Spurs fans does it take to change a lightbulb?

Worst half time show EVER

Provide chelsea for their next excuse for not winning a game

Well, we've had 'the ball wasn't over the line' against Liverpool last season, Maureen's 'we haven't been beaten 11 v 11' against Barca and now 'we should have been awarded an illegal goal' against Fulham.Show as much imagination (and lack of class) as you can muster and provide them with the excuse they can use for their next defeat.

Here's a few contributions from the F365 forum

"I wanted to play my best striker, but can't because he's been found out to be a cheat and is fucking useless if he can't do that"


"If you look at the phrase "Premier League", there is an A for Arsenal, M for Man U and L for Liverpool. It's a conspiracy that there is no C for Chelsea".


Its not excuses, its the fact we're playing against 13 men every time we play and no one else can see the conspiracy that surrounds the refering decisions!


Crooks: So another defeat then Jose..
Mourinho: Nope, we didn't lose today. It didn't happen
Crooks: err did lose it was 2-1
Mourinho: Nope, I had my eyes closed the whole game and if you don't see something happen it doesn't
Crooks: excuse me?
Mourinho: Didn't you go to school. Everyone knows that.
*goes and sobs in corner*


Shreves: So Jose, your thoughts on the Goal..
Maureen: It was not a goal..
Shreves: but the ball crossed the line and the net bulged
Maureen: Maybe, maybe, but you can not count it as a goal..
Shreves: But the result was 1-0
Maureen: But we will appeal, their players surrounded the Ref, and 1 of their players was rolling on the ground like he was shot by a sniper, plus before the ball went in there was a handball, the guy jumped up with his hands out streched like in crucifiction.
Shreves: But Jose that was your players.........


Shreves: So Jose, your thoughts on the Goal..
Maureen: I can not accept we lost today, Peter told me that as he went to catch the ball, then the sun broke through the clouds and he was temporarly blinded..
Shreves: Eah?
Maureen: Up to that point, we were 11 v 11 and it was all very equal, but they could not beat us.
Shreves: Eah ????
Maureen: Could you not see, their manager was praying, how can we win when it is 12 v 11.. no I can not accept that, we did not loose today..

Strachan you legend!

On Wayne Rooney...
"It's an incredible rise to stardom. At 17 you're more likely to get a call from Michael Jackson than Sven Goran Eriksson."

Reporter: Gordon, Do you think James Beattie deserves to be in the England squad?
Strachan: I don't care, I'm Scottish

Reporter: "Gordon, can we have a quick word please?"
Strachan: "Velocity" [walks off]

Reporter: Welcome to Southampton Football Club. Do you think you are the right man to turn things around?
Strachan: No. I was asked if I thought I was the right man for the job and I said, "No, I think they should have got George Graham because I'm useless."

Reporter: Is that your best start to a season?
Strachan: Well I've still got a job, so it's far better than the Coventry one, that's for sure.

Reporter: Are you getting where you want to be with this team?
Strachan: We're not doing bad. What do you expect us to be like? We were eighth in the league last year, in the cup final and we got into Europe. I don't know where you expect me to get to. Do you expect us to win the Champions League?

Reporter: Gordon, you must be delighted with that result?
Strachan: You're spot on! You can read me like a book.

Strachan: I've got more important things to think about. I've got a yoghurt to finish by today, the expiry date is today. That can be my priority rather than Agustin Delgado.

Reporter: This might sound like a daft question, but you'll be happy to get your first win under your belt, won't you?
Strachan: You're right. It is a daft question. I'm not even going to bother answering that one. It is a daft question, you're spot on there.

Reporter: Bang, there goes your unbeaten run. Can you take it?
Strachan: No, I'm just going to crumble like a wreck. I'll go home, become an alcoholic and maybe! jump off a bridge. Umm, I think I can take it, yeah.

Reporter: There's no negative vibes or negative feelings here?
Strachan: Apart from yourself, we're all quite positive round here. I'm going to whack you over the head with a big stick, down negative man, down.

Reporter: where will Marion Pahars fit into the team line-up?
Strachan: Not telling you! It's a secret.

Reporter: You don't take losing lightly, do you Gordon?
Strachan: I don't take stupid comments lightly either.

Reporter: So, Gordon, in what areas do you think Middlesbrough were better than you today?
Strachan: What areas? Mainly that big green one out there....

Reporter: "What is your impression of Jermaine Pennant?"
Strachan: "I don't do impressions"

Reporter: Did you enjoy that Gordon?
Strachan: Aye, I did - so much so that I'm going home to watch it on ceefax (walks off)

The world looks a totally different place after two wins. I can
even enjoy watching Blind Date or laugh at Noel's House Party.

Reporter: So Gordon, any changes then ?
Strachan: Naw, still 5ft 6, ginger hair, and a big nose!

Reporter: So, Gordon, any plans for Europe this year?
Strachan: Aye, me and the wife quite fancy Spain in August.

Gary Lineker: So Gordon, if you were English, what formation would you play?
Gordon Strachan: If I was English I'd top myself!

Bush and Jessica Simpson

Is your boss a goth? 10 telltale signs

1 Drinks snakebite
Former or closet goths still display a lingering thirst for snakebite - half a pint of lager with half a pint of cider, sometimes with blackcurrant. Snakebite is the worst thing the goths ever did after their invasion of the Roman Empire in 267.

2 Penchant for eyeliner
It seems everybody's wearing eyeliner these days, but a goth's make-up is a smidgen more extreme: the skin is powdered white, and black eyeliner is used on eyes, brows, lips and sometimes - to draw cobwebs, probably - the skin. NB: goths do not use bronzer, rouge, or St Tropez self-tan.

3 Cape
Capes have been fashionable this winter, but don't let that confuse you. A goth wears a cape so long it grazes the floor. Looks a little incongruous over a business suit.

4 Went to Leeds university
Strangely, Leeds has a nigh-on magnetic attraction for goths, and there are more cape shops per capita in the city than anywhere else in Europe.

5 Whistles Fields of the Nephilim/ Sisters of Mercy/ March Violets/ Subway to Sally songs
This is why no goth ever had a successful career as a milkman.

6 Strange hobbies
Many of your colleagues will spend the weekend at B&Q, drinking Lambrusco and playing five-a-side. Not goths. They read preposterous fantasy books, do a spot of Wicca and anything "a bit medieval".

7 Black clothing
Though both wore a lot of black, it is easy to differentiate between the goth and the 80s throwback by asking this simple question: can you imagine this outfit in a Robert Palmer video? The goth's predilection for black clothing is a reflection of the Black Aesthetic - taking those things society regards as evil or wrong and making them beautiful. Many items in the longtime goth's wardrobe may now have faded to a sort of charcoal shade.

8 Disturbing dancing at Christmas party
The goth sticks rigidly to the routine of two and a half steps to the front and back again, while gazing at the floor in an affected fashion and waving hands around mysteriously.

9 Disarmingly pointy boots
It is a little-known fact that inside their shoes, goths' feet are just as pointy as their winklepickers.

10 Drives a hearse to work
And doesn't work at a funeral parlour.

No More

In my lungs through my windows
on my head on the floor
ashes of falling hope
choking me inside these doors
stormy winds seduce the night
over new york and karachi skies
sinking in a sea of time
mourning since 11/9

No more

I'm breathing you no more
I'm missing you no more
No more

God and money take the blame
for suicidal video games
if all that lives is born to die
love remains I wonder why

on black and white tv
red is all I see
I'm sick of spying eyes
wearing suits and secret ties

No More

the dream is not yet over
keep yourself alive
hold on
we may survive

No More

Goalkeeper gets OWNED

Joke of the day

A girl walks into a supermarket and buys:

1 Bar of Soap
1 Toothbrush
1 Tube of toothpaste
1 loaf of bread
1 pint of milk
1 apple
1 banana
1 orange
1 plum
1 grapefruit
1 tomato
1 lettuce
1 cabbage
1 baking potato
1 kraft single
1 samosa
1 vegetable pakora
1 muesli bar
1 pie
1 frozen pizza
1 single frozen dinner

The bloke behind her in the queue taps her on the shoulder. He is carrying a basket with a six pack of Stella, a pizza and some Wagon Wheels.

As she turns he smiles at her and says, "Single, eh?"

The girl smiles sheepishly and replies
"How did you guess?"

He looks at her - straight in the eyes and gently says "Because you're minging."

Top 10 strangest animals

Headless chickens, cyclop kittens, purple bears, oh my!


Taxi for Steve Bruce!


Watch them online


Hyppia 1-0
Crouch 2-0
Crouch 3-0
Morientes 4-0
Riise 5-0
Tebily OG 6-0
Cisse 7-0

Birmingham's hex on Rafael Benítez had always looked like a figment of the imagination. Not that anyone at St Andrew's could have imagined the Spaniard would inflict a first victory over Birmingham in such humiliating circumstances. Within four minutes the contest was over as Liverpool tore into their vapid hosts, though far greater pain followed as the European Champions exposed Birmingham's glaring deficiencies with alarming ease, running up comfortably their biggest win under Benítez. Continue Reading...

Match Report]

Apologies as I haven't been able to reply to some of your comments yet (got a bit of a busy day at work), will do by this afternoon

and finally

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

The FA Cup QF and What Makes Liverpool Special

I think its remarkable the way Liverpool takes care of its fans and players alike. Last month, there were fears that Mohamed Sissoko will never play again after taking a nasty blow on his face (injuring his eye in the process). It was said that even in the best case scenario he'll only have 20% of his vision back. Liverpool dismissed those reports (by top doctors) and continued working with momo, providing him the best assistance money can buy and now he's ready to make a comeback.

Here's the actual story:

Club doctor Mark Waller has revealed Liverpool refused to accept the initial diagnosis that Mohamed Sissoko would never play again after his eye injury, despite the the midfielder being "blind in his right eye for 36 hours."

Sissoko was kicked on the head during Liverpool's Champions League game against Benfica last month, and one of the original doctors who treated the Mali international in Lisbon feared for the player's sight.

But in a interview Dr Waller said: "In the first 24 hours we had to listen to the opinion of one eminent specialist, who knows far more about the condition than I do, but we decided we weren't going to accept that a 21-year-old had an injury that was not going to allow him to play football again."

He added: "It's been well publicised one of the doctors in the unit over in Lisbon stated the best case scenario was that Momo could only get back 20% and there was no treatment for his condition. We were not prepared to accept that."

As for the match, I expect us to comfortably make it to the semis. Birmingham have (quite rightly) other, more important things to worry about, ie. survival in England's top flight. Liverpool on the other hand, are confident after the strikers have finally starting pulling their weight. 8 goals in the last two games and against one of the weaker defenses in the premiership, I believe we'll comfortably accomplish the task at hand and move a step closer to what will be our only trophy of the season.

We love Google! <---------- link fixed

Try Google image search for 'Manchester United.'

Here's what you get

Monday, March 20, 2006

Loose Change

Is there a cover up by the US Govt? Make up your own minds. Probably the best, most factual and informative documentary on the subject.

Whatever you believe, this is a

Babe of the Day: Sophie-Ellis-Bextor

Pictures sent in by y'all

Carlsberg don't do sequels...

Football's Funniest Moments

Don't drink and drive.

Top 5 Disappointments and Surprises While Watching Porn

Girls do it too!

Noah K Everyday

A guy named
Noah takes a picture of himself every day and posts it on his website

Tube Tales

Everything you wanted to know about the Tube, including hilarious driver's announcements. Sample: 'Go on then, stuff yourselves in like sardines, see if I care, I'm going home.'

Up them geordies!

THE OFFICIAL REASON FOR Jean-Alain Boumsong’s sending-off yesterday was the concession of a penalty denying a goalscoring opportunity, yet the France defender could hardly have demurred had he been banished for crimes against football. At the root of everything that was disastrous about Newcastle United, Boumsong presented Liverpool with a comfortable victory.

Liverpool were good without needing to be spectacular and are two points behind Manchester United but have played two games more. Newcastle were flat. As with the previous Sunday at Old Trafford only a combination of Shay Given's goalkeeping and opposition carelessness spared Glenn Roeder's team from an embarrassing thumping. Much of the feelgood factor stimulated by the mini-revival under Roeder has been erased by the last two displays. Reality has checked in once more on Tyneside, though Roeder can hardly be deemed culpable.

"At half-time we thought we could get something out of the game," said Roeder, "but the penalty kills you." Of those out injured Roeder said he might have Stephen Carr back for Chelsea. There was no mention of Michael Owen.

Now that Liverpool are scoring again there was no talk of Owen from Rafael Benítez either. Before facing Fulham last Wednesday, Liverpool had scored twice in five games and gone out of the European Cup as a consequence. The five against Fulham could have been repeated here because once Cissé made it 3-1 Liverpool eased off.

It was Cissé's 11th goal of the season - which would make him top scorer at St James' Park - but the manner of Cissé's celebration enraged a section of the Gallowgate End. Cissé lifted his shirt to them to reveal a message to his children and then reacted to the supporters' angry response. For that Cissé was booked.


Transformations <---------- Answers

Well done to all those who got it right. Here's a site that tracks the transformations the top celebs have gone through since they first made their start.
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