Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Breaking News

The Camera Never Lies!



Roy Keane on November 10: "Players are conning each other, there's a lot of sneaky stuff going on and I'm glad I'm not playing. There were lads I played with who went down like they'd been shot, and it drove me crazy. I'd pull my hair out. It's cheating and if I'd done that my family would disown me."

Video:
Roy Keane being sent off for diving

We assume he's since been disowned, then.

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Babe of the Day: Elsa Benitez

A kick up the arse



I found myself saying to someone after the 3-0 defeat that 'there's not much shame in losing to Arsenal' after the masterclass they gave us at TES on Sunday.

With Man U, Chelski, Arse, Bolton and Everton as our first few away fixtures, it was never gonna be easy. Whats really sad is that we haven't been able to pick up a single point out of these fixtures.

I wouldn't be too surprised if we do manage to put a decent run of results together from now on but the damage has already been done.

Zenden played well in the Carling cup game which is probably why he started against Arsenal, but I can't for the life of me understand having him in central midfield and Gerrard on the right. Gerrard sulked throughout the game (and if there's any truth in some of the rumors of his personal life flying around then you've gotta sympathise with the fella).
Infact, apart from Kuyt and maybe Agger, we didn't look bothered out on the pitch. Gonzalez has only had a handful of starts and I think once settled, he can be devastating on the left flank. He's only 20-21, mind. Pennant needs to improve sharpish. Bellers needs a couple of goals for his confidence and Kuyt needs to keep playing the way he is.
You predictions for the season? I'll go for 3rd with some silverware, providing we get our fingers out.

Things you'll never hear at Football



"...and Peter Crouch scores from a fantastic overhead kick!!!"

"I really like Robbie Savages hair"

"That rooney is a good looker."

"Frank´s looking slim today"

" ...and Mike Riley has waved away Manchester United´s penalty appeals"

"Henry has saved his best performace for the big occasion"

"Kewell's running his heart out today."

"What a great tactical sub that was Gareth"

"And Van Nistlerooy scores from 19 yards out."

"What a sporting chap that Cristiano Ronaldo is. He wouldn't even dream of manipulating referee's to get fellow professionals red-carded or use any form of cheating whatsoever. Model professional"

"Carrick is well worth £18m"

"That Martin O'Neill is very calm"

"Well done for staying on your feet when you could have gone down, Reyes"

"I saw Ron Atkinson at the Notting Hill Carnival last month"

"Glad to see Harry Redknapps twitch has gone away"

"...and thats the final whistle, Gillingham have won the champions league"

"Go on Titus use your natural talent"

"That Bobby Robson looks younger each day"

'Chelsea, the people's club…'

'Michael Brown pulled out of that 50/50 tackle.'

'Arjen Robben stayed on his feet in the box… he could easily have gone down and looked for a penalty.'

'What a lovely, flowing move by Blackburn. There must have been at least 20 passes before they scored.'

'The crowd are on their feet and chanting Eric Djemba-Djemba's name.'
Great defending, quality play there from Bramble....

"I see Liverpool are unchanged again"

What wings do you earnt so far?



Red Wings - Shagged a Virgin
Brown Wings - Arse
Rusty Wings - Shagged a bird on her period
Chicken Wings - Shagged a Chinese
Brass Wings - Shagging a hooker
Ming Hing Wings -Ugly chinese bird
E-Wings - Cybersex
BBQ Wings - Shagging Simon Weston
Manc Wings - Shagging Bird with Moustache
Scouse Wings - Shagging Bird with a curly bush
Bling Bling Wings - Shagging a ghetto ho
Lord of the Wings - Shagging a Hobbit
Shhh Wings - Shagging in a Library
Tandoori Wings - Shagging an Indian
Right Wing - Shagging a Hitler lookalike
Hospital Wings - Sex with a Nurse
Oedipus Wings - Shagging your Mam
Wing Wing! - Phone Sex
Green Wings - Outdoor Sex or sex with a food poisoning sufferer
Wing Commander - Shagging a sci-fi geek.
Wet Wings - Shagging in the pool
Left Wing - Shagging Tony Benn
Blue wings - Shagging a depressive
Orange wings - Shagged a disabled bagde holder
Burka Wings - Shagged a Muslim
Bingo Wings - Shagging a group of Grannies
Metal Wings - Sex with someone with a clitoral piercing. (NOT someone in a wheelchair)
Twin Wings - Shagged identical twins
Grey Wings (Wayne Rooney has them)- Shagged a Pensioner
Triple Wings - Participated in a threesome
Scratched Wings - Rape
Yellow Wings - Watersports / Shagged Marge Simpson
Funny Looking Wings - Shagged a clown

FAO Keyra Augustina Fans

Christiano Ronaldo is a nonce!

Vids of the Day

Happy Mother's Day
Heres a small clip of good boys trying to take a picture for their mother! It has so many funny spots to make you drop dead laughing.




Prank
Friends decide to play a prank in the car. Guys reaction and face are priceless in the slow-mo.


Monday, November 13, 2006

And I still, haven't found, what I'm looking for! (U2)



Songs for The Wedding!

Please release me, let me go
Smack my bitch up
Still havent found what im looking for (U2)
Playing With the Boys.
Come to Daddy (Aphex Twin)
Welcome To The Jungle (Guns n Roses)
Whiskey Bent and Hell Bound
Good Morning Little Schoolgirl
Don't Marry Her, F*ck Me (Beautiful South)
Take Your Daughter To The Slaughter.
Poison (Alice Cooper)
Fat-Bottomed Girls (Queen)
Heaven knows I'm Miserable Now (The Smiths)
Everyday I love you less and less (Kaiser Chiefs)
Queen Bitch (David Bowie)
Highway to Hell
Break Stuff (Limp Bizkit)


Add yours in 'comments' below

Little Dancing Indian Kid - Mucho Hilarity!

Bert is EVIL - No, he really is



We have reason to believe that Bert of Sesame Street is evil and you should keep your children away from him.

This site has all the video/audio evidence.

GSM Sat-Phone Locator



Worried your GF / Wife might be playing away while you think she's out shopping?

This brilliant
GSM Phone Locator is the answer!

By locating the nearest cellular phone antenna / booster, you can now find out by entering a mobile number where the phone's owner is!
Give it a shot!

Owned!

Ha ha this is what you get for messing with the wrong guy!
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